My Sweet Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha

Well I am missing Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha again. *sigh* It was also because Maharaj left to go back to Toronto today too. The pain of separation is almost unbearable. But for some reason Sri Sri Radha Vrndavan Chandra still want me here in New Vrndavan. I don't get it. Krishna knows what my desire is, but He's holding me back for now. Maybe He's trying to make me even more desparate for Him like He did with the Gopis when He went into hiding from them. Now I am also finding myself wanting a REALLY huge poster of Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha. I want to find a favorite outfit that I love seeing Them wear and make a big poster of that photo of Them.

I thought of another prayer for Sri Sri Radha Gopintha again.

My Sweet Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha.
Why is it taking so long to return to Toronto to You?
Im so heartbroken about being away from You.
Oh Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha,
I now see You as my real parents.
My biological parents are divorced
And felt I had no one at that time.
But now You came to me
With love and let me into Your family.
I consider You, my sweet Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha
To be my real transcendental parents,
Because You are never separated from one another.
You have accepted me as Your daughter
During my initiation on Jan. 1st.
That's when my attachement grew for You.
Please my sweet Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha
Help me to return back to Toronto to You soon.
I am crying for You Both.
Im so homesick being away from You Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha.
Please hear my prayer!
I love You Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha!

Last Day With Maharaj

Today was one of the hardest days of my life. Maharaj left at 12 noon today. Maharaj let me talk to him for a few minutes before he left. He did leave me some instructions and he even let me type his blog one more time. He instructed me to continue serving Tulasi Devi and fix up the shoe rack a bit. He also told me to get along with the authorities here which i do. I have no problems with them. Maharaj also told me that after Toronto's trip if all goes well to go to Miami. He said he'd talk with the devotees there into letting me stay there for the winter. We'll see how that goes.

Earlier before Maharaj left...I was feeling very strange like I was going to physically collapse. I didn't want him to leave. He knew I was terrified about him leaving. So he had ran into Jaya Krishna and asked him to look after me and also another devotee named Tulasi too. Maharaj knew I needed support.

Now Im finding myself BEGGING Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha to let me come back to Them. I will have to try and get a bus ticket to Buffalo. I HAVE to go to Toronto this week. I JUST HAVE to. Im feeling so homesick being away from Them as it is even more so now that Maharaj left this afternoon. 

Tomorrow is Lord Nrsimahadeva's Appearance Day My favorite time of the year. hopefully that will help me ease the pain of separation from my guru Maharaj.