Letter To Srila Prabhupada

I wrote a letter to Srila Prabhupada tonight. I am leaving Toronto Saturday morning and I was expressing my feelings about it to him in the letter. Since Srila Prabhuada is back home back in Godhead with Krishna, I know he can see my letter here on the website.  Also Lord Krishna can see and read it here as well.I felt that I had to write to him first since I cannot go directly to Krishna alone about something transcendental. What I am asking Srila Prabhupada is not material but spiritual because I wish to return to Toronto to serve the devotees and my guru. So here is what I wrote to Srila Prabhupada. :) I thought I'd like to share it here too.

Please accept my humble obeisances
All glories to you!

My dear Srila Prabhupada
I am much too fallen of a soul to even write this to you. You are a pure devotee of Lord Krishna, and just thinking that, I feel so contaminated with sins and desires. Please forgive me for any sins I may have comitted. Sometimes I feel so ignorant of spiritual knowledge.  But that is why you strongly said for us to approach a bona fide spiritual master and also to associate with devotees to fix our conciousness to be Krishna Conciousness.

I should know better that you are still always here for you are in our hearts, in your books, and  also in your murti form in the temples. But yet sometimes I still feel so blind to even see that or understand it. But I have faith that you will show me that you are still here. You have given me little drops of nectar letting me know that. For example, when my guru maharaj, Bhaktimarga Swami left for India, I was feeling severe separation even before he left that day. But then a couple days later, I read in a biography about you that you said to your disciples before you left for India, that your guru is always with them, and that the grandfather always takes care of his spiritual childeren better than the father, so that would make you my grandfather, and I must learn to rely on you for help always even while my guru is physically here in the temple. Thank you for giving me comfort as I was feeling separation from my guru.

I am also concerned about leaving New Remuna Dham. I have to cross the Canadian border to get to the United States for my plane to California. But I stayed longer than Jan. 5th and I hope that the border officers there will still let me pass, and not give me a hard time. I wish to return to New Remuna Dham in April as soon as possible. I am humbly asking you if you can inquire to Lord Krishna into allowing me to return to Toronto wth your blessing and Lord Krishna's blessing. I felt that I could not ask Lord Krishna Himself directly abou this but through you first as only the spiritual master can help one to spiritually advance and receive mercy from Krishna. I love serving the devotees here and my guru, and you, and Lord Krishna here in Toronto. It is where I am happiest. I strongly feel that I can spiritually advance here in New Remuna Dham.
All glories to you!

Your humble servant
~Hari Lila Devi Dasi