Absorbing My Mind In Krishna

Lately I've been trying to force my mind to think of Krishna and to avoid mundane talk or mundane thoughts. It is very difficult however being a very conditioned and fallen soul. I want to remember Krishna always...but at times my mind doesn't want to. I was reading some helpful hints in the book called "Japa" by Bhurijana Dasa. It's a really good book to help control the unsteady mind.

Being here with Sri Sri Radha Ksira Cora Gopinatha is helping keeping my mind totally fixed on Krishna. More realizations are pouring in like rain.  I didn't have as many realizations in New Vrndavan but maybe when I do go back there I will. Maybe I'll be inspired again in New Vrndavan. But we'll see what Krishna arranges in where He wants me to go.

Service, more chanting, and more reading are the top keys I have found in remembering Krishna constantly. I would like to know how the previous Archaryas had managed to stay awake nearly 24 hours a day doing service for Krishna and constantly remembering Him. I wish I could do that, but I am very unfortunate that my mind does not allow me to. In the book "Japa" it was stated that one should try to disobey the mind to keep remembering Krishna. That is a tough one to do. This morning for example, I was so very tired from the program last night. I had forced myself to get up for Mangal Aarti, and forced myself to stay awake during japa. I tried to ignore my mind in what it wants to do. But Krishna is right, the mind is very very difficult to control due to maya (illusion) and material desires.

I have several things to work on, negativity, low self esteem, etc. I have to work on one at a time. Although I don't feel as negative when Im here. I feel the difference here with being a lot more positive. A lot of it has to do with my Guru Maharaj's influence. His association is a big help in keeping me positive. Also other devotees here are so kind and merciful. I've not had not one problem with anyone here. I know I will have challenges here though. Nothing in this world will always be a bed of roses.

Im happy I was able to record the classes and kirtans my guru Maharaj gave. i've been listening and watching them a lot lately to also keep my mind absorbed in Krishna. This evening while I was helping in the Govinda's Restaurant, I sat there reading the Krishna Book, and then I chanted four extra rounds. Yesterday I learned that all the Archaryas in the movement including my own guru Maharaj has to chant 64 rounds a day. I thought "wow" I wonder if I'll ever chant that many rounds?But one should not push one's self so fast otherwise one may fall down. That is one thing I want to do. Is to get more attracted to chanting Krishna's Holy Names. Chanting more will do that. But I should probably increase rounds slowly and not too fast.

I also asked my guru Maharaj a question the other day about being strict in spiritual life. He said it's good to be strict but not to the point to where you cannot handle it. In my experiences with senior devotees and devotees who are twice initiatied all have different levels of strictness in them. And they also have different opinions too to help stay in Krishna Conciousness. It's a bit overwhelming for me but I am training msyelf not to get so overwhelmed easily.

But overall I feel that I am doing a lot better since I came back to Toronto's temple.  And being in Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha's presence is most welcoming, peaceful, and helps me to stay calm and makes me want to serve Them more. They have been so merciful to me. They are giving me some sort of service to do everyday. I was thinking this as I was cleaning up the restaurant. I was thinking "I love doing this service for Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha" I always want to serve Them somehow or other. I also need to try to go to every Aarti but sometimes I can't always due to some services that have to be done. But tomorrow I'll try to.

All glories to Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha. I know They will help me stay absorbed in Krishna Conciousness.

Trip to Scarborough Temple

Last night I went with maharaj Sri Kanta, and Mahavendra Puri and a mataji whose name is Bhaktin Linda to Scarborough's local temple that is about 20 minutes away. It felt nice to be back there again. Someone named Haridas was celebrating his 18th birthday that night while Maharaj was there. Maharaj had let him pick out a Bhagavad Gita verse to read from. Maharaj read from Ch. 12 in the Bhagavad Gita. His class lasted for about an hour. I have it all on video and audio. This way I have something to fall back on for devotional listening or watching something on DVD.

After the class, Maharaj gave his flower garland to Haridas. Such wonderful mercy Haridas had received from Maharaj. :) Then Maharaj led a fabulous kirtan which I only recorded on audio. The Deities they have at this temple are very cute. They are small but still very beautiful and elegent. I remember when I first came to this temple earlier in the year in Janurary only  a day or two after my initiaition. I liked being there. Everyone is so friendly and open with one another. A few devotees remembered me from the last time I visited. I mostly chatted with Bhaktin Linda though during the time we had prasadam. The prasadm was pretty good although I did not eat any subji due to the spices but they had fruits and sweets and I had some rice too.

I took some photos too after the program. I took some after maharaj gave class and during the kirtan. And when we were about to leave I got a really cute photo of Maharaj with a little boy. Maharaj really loves being around childeren. I believe childeren are the ones that keep him feeling young. I hope that more childeren will be able to see Maharaj in the future so that they will get benefit from him.

Here are a few of the photos I took of last night's program.