Lately many devotees have been coming through. Some new some who are regulars. These devotees live outside the temple. So they have more of a desire to come in and serve the Deities and my guru Maharaj.
So I feel these devotees are much more qualified than me. I'm nobody special. I have my problems, both health wise and spiritually. I still have false ego even though my guru Maharaj says I don't have any ego. Many people cannot tolerate me at all but my guru Maharaj has.
I still anxiously do my serivces to serve the Deities my guru Maharaj. But I have a tendency to over do it. I've done that on Moday, and Maharaj actually made me stop doing service and he wanted me to rest.
But back to the qualified devotees and enough about myself. I've observed how these devotees come in and do these services without hesitation. Because it is devotional service and they are practicing real bhakti. They are getting purified by doing these services for Krishna and devotees who live in the temple. In the temple there are only a few of us living here, and there is so much that needs to be done, but there are only a hand full of us. We cannot possibly finish all these services on our own without the help of these qualified devotees who come in to visit for the day.
This nice mataji who is new, came in to help in the kitchen. I heard Maharaj was extremely pleased with her services and she told me he came close to tears because of how she was doing her service. I told her she got a lot of mercy from my guru Maharaj if he came close to tears like that. Even I haven't gotten that kind of mercy from Maharaj even though he'd been pleased with me several times. I told her she is better than me, and more qualified than me to serve my guru Maharaj and she is not even initiated. She just came to this temple a week ago and already she's spiritually advancing and getting mercy from Maharaj and Krishna alone. I think she has started chanting a little bit. Bhakta Patrick has been teaching her things which is good. I'm not good at teaching anyone anything really. I wasn't meant to be a leader. I never thought of myself as good enough to even be doing devtional service let alone utter Krishna's name. Im still very materially contaminated. I need to learn patience and tolerance yet, and especially I need to learn to control my emotion which get way out of hand sometimes. These things often prevent me from doing devotional serivce and as a result it makes me an unqualified devotee to be doing these services in the temple.
These devotees who come in don't seem to have any of these problems I have which is why I consider them more qualified than me. I know they will return to Krishna faster than me. I probably will have to return to this miserable material world again to fully get rid of my karma and false ego, but I just hope and pray to Krishna even if I do have to come back here I hope He will let me remember Him and still let me serve Him.
