Maybe I'm still spiritually blind. I've been thinking here today about somethings.
This morning I wasn't feeling very well i had an upset stomach but by later in the morning around 9:30am I was feeling better so I headed downstairs into the temple room to chant my rounds. It was a very peaceful and quiet morning. I felt like I had the Deities all to myself which was nice but there was one other Prabhu in the temple room with me. I forgot his name. I'm terrible with names and have a hard time pronoucing them.
But later in the day I ran into the same Prabhu that was with me in the temple room as I was doing my laundry in the afternoon. He was saying that what we are doing in the temple is basically the highest thing we could do in this material world as long as we're with devotees and serving Krishna directly by doing things around the temple. So this is what brought me to thinking...and I feel somewhat guilty of it too in a way. I think I'm too spiritually blind to realize or appreciate being in the temple doing direct service. I might be still materially covered. But Krishna is still being merciful to me. I don't know why though because I feel like I'm the worst devotee here, but Sudevi says I'm doing fine even though I don't feel like I am. I know that Krishna is waiting for me to open my spiritual eyes to see how valuable temple service really is. *sigh* I wish I could see it right now but I don't think it will happen over night. I continue to chant my rounds, and do reading. I did alot of that today since I had to be off altar and same with tomorrow too. I try to think of the Gopis and how they always continually thought of Krishna and always wanted to some type of service to Him without hesitation. I admire them for that and try to do what they do, but I'm no where even NEAR that point like the Gopis, far from it! I'm only getting very little nectar out of it right now compared to what the Gopis do. I'm a very very fallen and confused soul. I think this is one of the things I plan on talking to Maharaj about. I know he can help heal my blindness about these things.
