Wow today was very pretty. The skies were clear with few clouds in the sky. The wind had a bit of a chill in it but still a very nice breeze. Im glad we got a break from the rain. I was getting sick of seeing rain everyday this week. I kept wondering where the sun was. Krishna was merciful and let it be sunny out today. So I spent two hours outside reading and chanting.
In the morning though I had to clean the pujari room and do the 12:30pm Deity plate transfer, and then lunch afterwards. So it was kind of a quiet day. Today is Ekadashi. I fasted until 12 noon at least. Ekadashi is meant to fast and also to read and chant more about Krishna which I did the best I could.
Around 2:45pm this afternoon I gathered up some of my books and put them into my black duffel bag, grabbed my purple sweater hoodie, and croc shoes and headed outside to the pond where there are two small pavilions that have a bench to sit on over looking the pond. I sat and read for the first hour. I read from the Krishna Book and then Nectar of Devotion. Around 3:45pm I started chanting my rounds. I managed to chant 26 rounds total. I may do some more this evening while I wait for the 8:30 darshan.
As I was chanting by the pond, the wind moved the water into big and little ripples and the sun's light reflected on it as the water moved which made it as pretty as a picture. But then my mind drifted to Krishna's pasttimes. I stared out into the middle of the lake. As the water was starting to turn up more as the wind blew, I tried to see Krishna dancing on Kaliya the Serpent's head feriously. How I wish I could see that physically but one has to meditate on it in order to see that pasttime. Then farther toward on the other side of the pond was a tree right on the edge by the pond with it's low branches almost touching the ground. So I thought of another pasttime of Krishna when He was stealing the gopis clothes. I tried to 'see' Krishna sitting on that branch coaxing the gopis to come out of the water. And then there is another past time I read about when Krishna and Arjuna were drinking water along the Yamuna Bank and saw a young girl walking alone. She wanted Krishna for her husband. And just now now another nice pasttime came to me of when Balaram was about to punish the River Yamuna for disobeying His order and She came in human form and begged Him forgiveness for Her offense for not obeying Him.
As I was sitting outside the air helped to clear my head some. And then a few realizations set in too. This afternoon before lunch time I was reading the pasttimes about Lord Krishna's close personal friend and eternal servitor Uddhava. He went to go visit the Gopis in Vrndavan while Krishna was away in Mathura. The Gopis felt severe separation from Krishna so Krishna had sent Uddhava to them to pacify them. I read something that caught my eye and made me realize something. I wonder if this is what Krishna is trying to teach me. I read in that very chapter,that the Gopis have tried their best to be happy when they were in disappointment when they found that Krishna did not return to them. So I am wondering if I am put into this same position of when I could not return to Krishna in Toronto, but I had to return to Him here in New Vrndavan. I should read that chapter over again and see how the Gopis had worked it out in being happy while being disappointed. I also read the chapter about how Krishna pleases His devotees according to their surrender to Him. Another thought popped into my head. I am not sure how Krishna wants me to surrender to Him more. But hopefully He'll reveal that to me in the future.
