Saturday, August 6, 2011

Serving Guru In Separation

I always find this difficult. It is because I am around my guru Maharaj so much that is hard for me to realize that even the service I am doing for him I am still serving him in separation. And serving guru in separation they say is the highest service one can do.

The reason why I find it a bit difficult, is because when my guru Maharaj is here at the temple, he always lets me know if he was pleased with the service I do for him. And also sometimes he adds on little service for me to do for him. Maharaj gives everyone a chance to do some type of service for him. He's so merciful when it comes to that. He doesn't leave anyone out.

Now my guru Maharaj is away on a north american bus tour and he won't return until August 23rd. So I am still doing my service for him although lately I've had no wood polish so I could not do  that service for him and I felt a bit upset about it. But today I went to the dollar store and found some wood polish for 2 dollars. I can't stand it when there is a certain type of service I have ot do for Maharaj and I don't have the product for it to complete the service. I want to keep up with the cleaning and have it nice by the time he comes back. August 22nd will be much too busy to really try to get anything done because there will be so many people here so I want to try to finish the cleaning before hand.

Everytime Maharaj is away I always get terrified thinking "Am I serving Maharaj properly? Am I pleasing him?" I am very concious of this. Im determined to keep my guru Maharaj very pleased.
I've should have asked him this over the phone whne I talked to him but we didn't have time he was very very busy.

Sometimes too I always get concerned about when I am invited to go somewhere with devotees, but to me it didn't seem very spiritual and I feel like I must consult with Maharaj first. I hate doing things without his approval. It's just how I am. I'm trying to train myself to keep my mind focused on just Krishna. Even the smallest of things will disturb me when I am trying to focus on Krishna. So this is one reason why if I feel to me something doesn't feel right about going to a certain place or doing a certain thing, I feel I must have Maharaj's approval first. I love going out with devotees, just as long as it's something spiritual because my mind needs to be fixed on Krishna.

A New Tulasi Devi Plant

I  have gotten so much more attached to Tulasi than I have last year. Being here in Toronto with her really got me attached to her. My guru Maharaj told me to continue serving Tulasi so I am simply following his instructions.

In the morning I dress her by putting on one of her pretty dresses. I dressed her with the blue and orange dress today. I also set up her aarti tray in the morning and then during Tulasi puja I do aarti for her. So I had gotten attached to doing these things for her. I love seeing her first thing in the morning, because she helps me to get anxious to see Krishna in the morning then too.

Last weekend a guest must have forgotten their tulasi plant. I found her in a plastic bag the next morning by Prabhupada's vyasa san. And when I saw her there I immediately took her upstairs and took care of her this week. It was a good thing I checked to see what was in the bag! I have a sharp eye for Tulasi and can sense her presence whenever she's around. And last month I had found her in the botique and she hadn't been taken care of so I took her upstairs with the other ones to look after until they find homes for them. I am also looking after 40 other baby tulasi plants until they find homes for them.  The baby Tulasis are doing very well as are the older ones.

Then later in the morning after breakfast I immediately go upstairs to take care of her. I give her a water spray bath and on Mondays I give her the insect spray to keep the white flies and spider mites off of her. I also give her a little water every day due to the hot weather here in Toronto. Also I pick her manjaris when she has them and her leaves I don't have to pick becasue she automatically drops them when I spray her with water. I also clean her room too like I did in New Vrndavan during the winter.

Awhile back I had to transplant one Tulasi plant as she was in another pot with another Tulasi and her branches were touching the other Tulasi so She definately needed to have her own pot. Since I transplanted her she is doing very well. I've been keeping close watch on her.

Then just earlier this week on Monday I planted three Tulasi seeds. and just yesterday one of them started growing! Today she now has two teeny tiny green leaves that are starting to open. I have also been keeping an extremely close watch on this baby Tulasi. I've already become so attached to her. I hope she will be big enough for Maharaj to see when he comes back, I really would love to show her to him.He'd be very pleased. These past two mornings I have gone into Tulasi's room and chanted my rounds there and it seemed to help the baby tulasi seeds a bit. The other two tulasi seeds haven't started growing yet, but I hope they will. Now I am finding myself not wanting to leave her green house becasue I want to keep a close watch on the new tiny tulasi plant that is growing. She needs a lot of love and care to keep her strong.  I think on Janmashtami I may stay up in her greenhouse just before midnight as I can see the doors open from there and it won't be as crowded hopefully by her greenhouse. But anyways, Im so happy about the little Tulasi plant that is growing now. As she gets bigger I will keep posting photos of her with the changes she goes thru when she gets bigger.