Sunday Program/My Feelings for Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha

Wow what a Sunday program. I didn't go to the one last weekend as I had just gotten back to Toronto and felt very tired from a long trip and trying to get back in at the border. I went to the Sunday program tonight. It was very crowded. The guests are still here and it's 8:45pm. But somehow or other I tried to get to the front. It was hard at the 6pm Aarti as there were alot more guests. There was a bit of pushing and shoving but I did my best to tolerate it. I was grateful I didn't have anyone too tall in front of me so that I can see Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha. The Deities are looking more and more beautiful each time I see Them. And more and more I am falling in love with Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha.

This morning during Mangal Aarti, I noticed that Lord Krishna had a sweet smile on His face. And even Srimate Radharani too. It brought a smile to my own face. In the morning five minutes before the doors open, I always get anxious to see Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha, sometimes I get very impatient because I am desparate to see Them. It's probably becuase I get the fear that I may not get to see Them again after I get back to the United States and I am trying to relish every moment being with Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha.

At the 8pm Aarti I did managed to get up front this time. It was much better and not as much pushing or shoving around. And I love the part near the end of the Aarti when the Pujaris hand out the flowers and fruits from the altar. It felt like being at the end of the concert where some musicians do hand out free stuff to the crowd in the front. Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha were merciful again to me. They let me have one of Their apples from Their altar. Not sure which one I got if it was Krishna's or Radha's but either way I felt very very fortunate that They were so merciful.

Lately, every time I do go to Aartis to see Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha I feel so peaceful. No stress, no anxiety, no negativity even exist. I just feel so relaxed being with Them. Everytime I see Lord Krishna's Lotus Feet and Lotus Eyes, I feel as though all material desires, feelings of being pressured, lamentation, negativity and everything else just vanishes. I can't understand why I couldn't feel this way in New Vrndavan. That saddens me in a way that I couldn't feel the same there. Maybe one day again I'll get the same feelings there as I do here in Toronto. But for now I'm just so attached to Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha. I found an old photo of Them in the gift shop that was only 25 cents or something like that. It's a really pretty photo of Them. Im going to try to get as many pics of Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha before I go back the United States in December so that I can alway see Them and feel peaceful when I see Their Lotus Faces. Even my shyness also goes away when I see Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha. Now Im trying to get the courage to try and sing for them in the evening during the last Aarti or something like that. Eventually it will happen. I just need to learn how to play that harmonium so that I can sing better that way. For now i'll just have to use kartals. :)

There's just no question about it. Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha are my favorite Deities and always will be forever in my life. They mean the world to me now and They send light in my life when things get dark. I'll have to take breaks during service tomorrow to go to the Aartis to see Them. I feel I need to see Them every moment and that way maya can't attack me. Maya can just go away and go bug someone else! :D

Absorbing My Mind In Krishna

Lately I've been trying to force my mind to think of Krishna and to avoid mundane talk or mundane thoughts. It is very difficult however being a very conditioned and fallen soul. I want to remember Krishna always...but at times my mind doesn't want to. I was reading some helpful hints in the book called "Japa" by Bhurijana Dasa. It's a really good book to help control the unsteady mind.

Being here with Sri Sri Radha Ksira Cora Gopinatha is helping keeping my mind totally fixed on Krishna. More realizations are pouring in like rain.  I didn't have as many realizations in New Vrndavan but maybe when I do go back there I will. Maybe I'll be inspired again in New Vrndavan. But we'll see what Krishna arranges in where He wants me to go.

Service, more chanting, and more reading are the top keys I have found in remembering Krishna constantly. I would like to know how the previous Archaryas had managed to stay awake nearly 24 hours a day doing service for Krishna and constantly remembering Him. I wish I could do that, but I am very unfortunate that my mind does not allow me to. In the book "Japa" it was stated that one should try to disobey the mind to keep remembering Krishna. That is a tough one to do. This morning for example, I was so very tired from the program last night. I had forced myself to get up for Mangal Aarti, and forced myself to stay awake during japa. I tried to ignore my mind in what it wants to do. But Krishna is right, the mind is very very difficult to control due to maya (illusion) and material desires.

I have several things to work on, negativity, low self esteem, etc. I have to work on one at a time. Although I don't feel as negative when Im here. I feel the difference here with being a lot more positive. A lot of it has to do with my Guru Maharaj's influence. His association is a big help in keeping me positive. Also other devotees here are so kind and merciful. I've not had not one problem with anyone here. I know I will have challenges here though. Nothing in this world will always be a bed of roses.

Im happy I was able to record the classes and kirtans my guru Maharaj gave. i've been listening and watching them a lot lately to also keep my mind absorbed in Krishna. This evening while I was helping in the Govinda's Restaurant, I sat there reading the Krishna Book, and then I chanted four extra rounds. Yesterday I learned that all the Archaryas in the movement including my own guru Maharaj has to chant 64 rounds a day. I thought "wow" I wonder if I'll ever chant that many rounds?But one should not push one's self so fast otherwise one may fall down. That is one thing I want to do. Is to get more attracted to chanting Krishna's Holy Names. Chanting more will do that. But I should probably increase rounds slowly and not too fast.

I also asked my guru Maharaj a question the other day about being strict in spiritual life. He said it's good to be strict but not to the point to where you cannot handle it. In my experiences with senior devotees and devotees who are twice initiatied all have different levels of strictness in them. And they also have different opinions too to help stay in Krishna Conciousness. It's a bit overwhelming for me but I am training msyelf not to get so overwhelmed easily.

But overall I feel that I am doing a lot better since I came back to Toronto's temple.  And being in Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha's presence is most welcoming, peaceful, and helps me to stay calm and makes me want to serve Them more. They have been so merciful to me. They are giving me some sort of service to do everyday. I was thinking this as I was cleaning up the restaurant. I was thinking "I love doing this service for Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha" I always want to serve Them somehow or other. I also need to try to go to every Aarti but sometimes I can't always due to some services that have to be done. But tomorrow I'll try to.

All glories to Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha. I know They will help me stay absorbed in Krishna Conciousness.

Trip to Scarborough Temple

Last night I went with maharaj Sri Kanta, and Mahavendra Puri and a mataji whose name is Bhaktin Linda to Scarborough's local temple that is about 20 minutes away. It felt nice to be back there again. Someone named Haridas was celebrating his 18th birthday that night while Maharaj was there. Maharaj had let him pick out a Bhagavad Gita verse to read from. Maharaj read from Ch. 12 in the Bhagavad Gita. His class lasted for about an hour. I have it all on video and audio. This way I have something to fall back on for devotional listening or watching something on DVD.

After the class, Maharaj gave his flower garland to Haridas. Such wonderful mercy Haridas had received from Maharaj. :) Then Maharaj led a fabulous kirtan which I only recorded on audio. The Deities they have at this temple are very cute. They are small but still very beautiful and elegent. I remember when I first came to this temple earlier in the year in Janurary only  a day or two after my initiaition. I liked being there. Everyone is so friendly and open with one another. A few devotees remembered me from the last time I visited. I mostly chatted with Bhaktin Linda though during the time we had prasadam. The prasadm was pretty good although I did not eat any subji due to the spices but they had fruits and sweets and I had some rice too.

I took some photos too after the program. I took some after maharaj gave class and during the kirtan. And when we were about to leave I got a really cute photo of Maharaj with a little boy. Maharaj really loves being around childeren. I believe childeren are the ones that keep him feeling young. I hope that more childeren will be able to see Maharaj in the future so that they will get benefit from him.

Here are a few of the photos I took of last night's program.

Krishna Must Have Heard Me

Well yesterday afternoon another realization hit me in the head. I sat in Govinda's taking over for my godbrother Deva Datta in watching the restaurant. And then afterwards I went to take rest for an hour as I was tired and my back was hurting me.

So it was around 5pm that this realization came to me. I was finishing the last of my rounds. I had about three left to finish. About ten minutes after I had finished my last round, Maharaj pages me on the temple's phone. He had some more service for me to do for him. He wanted me to answer some emails for him. The Hare Krishna Maha Mantra means that one is asking to stay in Krishna's pure devotional service to Him. So it hit me then after 10 minutes of finishing my last round was when Maharaj needed me to do that service for him. So I believe Krishna answered me quickly in doing service for Him and His exalted devotee.

Also before I came back to Toronto, Krishna knew how much I wanted to serve Him in the temple there in His form as Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha. I felt like I had gone through withdrawl there for the past three months I had been gone from Their temple. So I had not only Maharaj come to me asking me to do seva but few other devotees as well. Im sitting here thinking, Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha have been so incredibly kind to me in fulling my desire in wanting to serve Them. I believe the more service I can do for Them the more I can become attached to Them.I already feel very attached to Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha. The thing I have to train myself with, is when the time comes for me to head back to the United States is that They are always with me. I have gotten a couple of pictures to take with me so hopefully always keeping a picture of Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha will help ease the pain of separation from Them. Although Krishna increases the pain of separation to force us to think of Him more and surrender more to Him.

But the main point of it all is, I believe Krishna had heard me chanting His Holy Name and answered me quickly. I am so suprised that He answered a fallen soul and rascal like me. Im such a sinful person, but yet Krishna is still kind and allows me to serve His devotees. :) Krishna knows everything, He can see everything and read our minds and hearts before we even do something. I know whatever we do in this life is due to our past karma in our past lives. He knows we are prone to make mistakes in our Bhakti, because we are conditioned. But if we chant sincerly He will answer and He will hear you like He did with me this afternoon. I hope this will help my conciousness even more. I pray to Krishna to continue letting me get realizations like this to help me surrender more unto Him. :) I also pray that other devotees like myself will also experience this of Krishna actually hearing them chant His Names and then He will respond to them.

Nice Seva

Today I had gotten some nice service. During japa this morning Maharaj wanted  me to type out his blog which I enjoyed doing. And I liked what his blog was about. It was about some devotees he had emailed or talked to on the phone that are struggling in KC. Maharaj simply said in his blog "Don't give up" no matter how bad it gets. Krishna does put us through trials, and He does it on purpose just to see how much we will surrender to Him. I've had this experience myself and Im still struggling to see that. I am trying to understand that He wants me to surrender more to Him and His way of teaching me to be detached. So I have trouble with three things. Negativity, Low Self Esteem, and Attachement. Im okay with everything else.

Then later on Maharaj wanted me to send some photos to one of the matajis by email from his trip in 2003. Unfortunately the DVD he gave to me to download the photos, it is a dvd used for a Mac computer and I cannot download anything to email the photos. So I feel really bad about it. I hope Maharaj won't be too disappointed. :( I really wanted to help him with this service. But I found another devotee who can help with that service.

And lastly I went into the kitchen today to help make a fruit salad, and washed the dishes for Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha. Im loving it even more by doing that little bit of seva for Them. And I talked with Hara Kumar this morning about service to Tulasi. He has to get a key made for me to go in and help take care of Her. He said that I can give Her a spray bath every day except Wednesday and I can clean Her room. Such nice service there for Tulasi and Maharaj wanted me to continue serve Her.

Later this afternoon I also have to watch Govinda's restaurant for an hour. :) So today's services have been both easy and challenging. But I love the service for Sri Sri Radha KsiraCora Gopinatha.And also I have to make sure that the dishes are caught up so that there is no more dishes in the sink.

It's been a very full day of seva. Im happy I was able to help serve Maharaj for a time and Mahavendra Puri. Krishna says "One is not a devotee unless he or she serves His devotees."

Sri Sri Radha KsiraChor Gopinatha stole my heart away.

I was at the last darshan tonight. Wow. Sri Sri Radha Ksira Chor Gopinatha have completely stolen my heart away. And what's funny is that the word "chor" means steal and Ksira means "sweet rice" So it meas that Krishna likes to steal sweet rice. However in my case Krishna had stolen my heart by being in this Deity form of Radha Ksira Chor Gopinatha. I literally could not take my eyes off of Them tonight. I kept looking at Krishna's Lotus Feet, His Flute, His Eyes, His Smile, just everything. I dont' know if it's because I was initiated in front of Radha Gopinatha or if it's because Maharaj stays in this temple, or what. It could be all of the above.
Srimate Radharani still takes my breath away. She's absolutely gorgeous. I can see why that pleases Krishna so much on how pretty She looks for Him.
Today their outfit was red, yellow, and green. I absolutely LOVED Krishna's turban! And His outfit alone just made Him shine brighter than the sun. Same with Srimate Radharani.

See how beautiful They are? I was totally captured by Krishna's Lotus Face. As I was there watching the Aarti, I nearly had tears in my eyes. I kept thinking that I NEVER want to leave Them again. I cannot bear to be without Them. I just can't. I don't know if I could even survive without Them. I feel so close now with Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha. I think a lot of it does have to do with Maharaj's influence. He wanted me to have more love for Krishna and that's what he said at my initiation. Well I think that is happening now as it is with Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha. After Gopinatha means Lord of the Gopis an that means Krishna attracts the Gopis. So in a way He is attracting me with that name. I love that name "Lord Gopinatha." Sounds so mystical.

So here it is 9:46pm and I am not sleepy. My mind is so absorbed in Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha, just anxious to get ready to greet Them in the morning. I always take photos of Them. And I enjoy doing that so that I can have different wallpapers to put on my desktop.

Whatever Krishna has in store for me in the future I just hope He will allow me to continue serving Him here in Toronto always.

First Day Back in Toronto/Boat Kirtan Cruise!

Well here I am back home back in "Canadahead" as my guru Maharaj put it in one of my emails he sent to me.

I was terrified when I got to the border. I felt my skin turn ice cold with fear. At first during the immigration, the same border officer who refused me the last time was there and remembered me and it didn't seem like they were going to let me through. He read my information from the letters I had and asked me a few questions. Then he said he wanted to hand me over to another border officer for a second opinion. She seemed pretty nice but stern at the same time. She asked me a few questions. Mahavendra Puri and Nitai Priya also helped to answer questions to help me get in. It took them over an hour to get me approved to pass. I was still really scared. But near the end, I felt Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha's presence. They were letting me know it was going to be okay. And then finally the answer came. The lady border officer gave me a letter stating that it is a visa of allowing me to stay for six months. I thought I was going to faint when she said I was allowed to go in.

So then Mahavendra Puri, Nitai Priya and I all piled into the van. Mahavendra Puri called Maharaj on the phone. He talked with him for a little bit and then he handed me the phone. Maharaj wanted to speak to me briefly. Maharaj sounded so happy I made it through. He said to me jokingly "You get on back here!" He must have been so anxious for me to return. But I couldn't help but laugh how he said "You get on back here" it was so funny! Then we got to the temple at 9pm. I saw Maharaj then. And everyone else that I know were very happy to see me back. I had some prasadam and Maharaj sat with us. He asked me how things were in New Vrndavan. I told him I ran into some difficulties. And he said jokingly to me again "You've been there long enough." lol! Im so happy that Maharaj is very pleased that I was able to come back. That's all I want to do is make him happy. :) Because if he's happy then Srila Prabhupada is happy and if he's happy Lord Krishna is happy. :)

The next morning, I was so excited to see Sri Sri Radha Ksira Chor Gopinatha. I got up at 3am despite how tired I was feeling after travelling all day on the bus. I finished my rounds early. I was anxious for them to open the deity doors. I was just DYING to see Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha. Then their doors opened. They were looking even more beautiful then when I last saw Them! They mean so much to me. It was wonderful to see Lord Krishna's beautiful blackish Lotus Face and Lotus Eyes. Srimate Radharani also took my breath away. I loved seeing Her decorated with flowers and jewels, and Her dress was so pretty and sparkly. I felt like I was the happiest devotee on the planet seeing Sri Sri Radha Ksira Chor Gopinatha!

Then we went on a Kirtan Boat Cruise on the Lady Yankee 3 boat. This boat is exactly the same boat in Cleveland only in Cleveland it's called the Good Time 3. I haven't been on a boat like this in quite a few years. It was definately a refreshement and I was able to get some air. It was chilly outside but it was okay. It was interesting to see other boats out there.I took several pictures of boats and there was a small airport near by out on the lake. I took pics of planes taking off as well. Anyway Maharaj led the kirtan first for a full hour. That was pure nectar. I recorded it on video and audio. I also took many pics of the kirtan too. Maharaj rocked the boat as they say with the kirtan. Maharaj's kirtans are always so fabulous and makes me feel like Im at a concert. Then the Gaura Shakti band played for the remander of the trip. It was a four hour boat cruise. I do not get seasick so I was able to enjoy it in the company of devotees that I know. But I had a fabulous time. If you aren't already a friend on my facebook page you can check out the photos I have of the boat cruise there.

Lastly I went to the last darshan at 8pm last night. I stayed for the whole Aarti until they closed the doors. I said a quiet prayer to Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha for allowing me to come back and being so kind and merciful. They full filled my desire in wanting to return to them so very much. I hope to have at least  8 hours of service to Them a day. I have ot talk to Mahavendra Puri about it on Tuesday.

I am anxious to see what this week will bring in New Remuna Dham. :)

Mood of the Gopis

Lately I've been reading this book called Krsnahnika Kaumudi I found in Mother Vanni's store and came to love the stories in it. It's by Srila Kavi-karnapura. It's like an extension or sequel to the Krsna book almost. It describes the different pasttimes of Radha and Krishna and gives the time of day of when each pasttime happened. I found the stories in it fascinating. It's a very thin book but fun to read. I found some of the stories humourous as well. I think I may show this book to Maharaj and see what he thinks about it. I do have some questions to ask him if I see him tomorrow. It says in the Bhagavad Gita to surrender to a guru and to ask him questions about spiritual life and render service unto him. This book I think is starting to help me think of more spiritual questions to ask Maharaj. I never seem to come up with any good questions my mind normally goes blank.

But anyways. As I was reading this book I was finding myself asking these questions about the mood of the Gopis. The mood of the Gopis is so highly elevated it  bewilders me at times and Im stumped. Like I thought of this question. How can one talk about Krishna and nothing else in this material world and develope the mood of the Gopis? It is so easy to get caught up in mundane talk or gossip about nonsense stuff. Im guitly of it I know Im not afraid to admit it. So how to avoid that problem? Maybe my Bhakti Yoga needs to be stronger here in New Vrndavan or something. It's strong in Toronto but not here where I am now yet.  I've got all these questions reeling through my head. That's another thing too. Maya constantly captures us so this why I keep thinking these questions. Im not sure if I have asked my guru these types of questions or not but I am sure he won't mind answering them again he may have a different answer to help me understand. Other devotees may have different answers to these questions, which is why i prefer to ask my guru Maharaj first and see what he says. When he explains something I can understand him easily. He gives very good examples.

Also the Gopis also see Krishna as if They never saw Him before or are meeting Him for  the first time. So how to get myself to also get that same feeling? I remember when I first came to New Vrndavan, being captured by the beautiful form of Lord Krishna in the temple room standing before the devotees in Deity form. I literally was frozen stiff sitting on the floor and couldn't move as I was stunned by Krishna's beauty. I may experience this again when i get to Toronto as I had not seen Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha in a long time...three months and to me that seems like it's been so much longer than three months. And when I saw Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha for the first time in Toronto I felt my heart was stolen away by Them and still is now. So here is another question reeling through my head. Is it allowed to have a favorite set of Deities in a Temple? And why does one feel more captured with their favorite Deity at a different temple than the one they are staying at when all the Deities are non different from Krishna Himself? Maybe that's my trouble. Im having a bit if difficulty realizing that everything is Krishna because maya is still clouding my vision which is annoying. For some reason Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha captured my heart so much more...and I still love Radha Vrndavan Chandra a lot too though at the same time. Maybe my guru Maharaj can help me sort this out.  why I didn't think of these questions while he was here in New Vrndavan is beyond me.

But hopefully I'll learn alot more when Im in Toronto about the Gopis and have more questions for Maharaj about them. I am curious to know so much more about them and their feelings for Krishna. :) Maybe can try to find another book abot the Gopis to help me understand them. :)

Last two days in New Vrndavan

I have two days left in New Vrndavan. I just finished cleaning up my room. I just have to wait to get the key to put my stuff in the storage room in the ashram that way I know it is securely locked up while Im away. I don't want to leave anything behind in my room. The only thing Im leaving behind is blankets as I am not worried about those. Im going to take two regular size suitcases and a duffel bag and a backpack. That carries most of what I have.

I had gotten an email from my guru Maharaj the other day. He asked me how i was doing and he said that he and the other devotees in Toronto are always thinking of me. I was very touched by that email. I always save my guru Maharaj's emails so that I can refer back to it if i have a question about something.

I am hoping to learn the rest of the Lord Nrsimahadeva on the harmonium these last two days in New Vrndavan and then I can practice it in Toronto. I know when I come back in December I can finish taking harmonium lessons and then maybe by the time I go back to Toronto again I'll be almost a pro at it. It'd be nice to lead kirtan sometime. I want to lead kirtan for Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha one day. :) I have to get better at the melodies though. My singing voice is not that great. But I'll give it a try though. That is one thing that is happening, I seem to be opening up more under my guru Maharaj's influence. He's helping me to get out of my shyness, and wanting to do more with kirtans and stuff.

Tomorrow I go into town to pick up my bus tickets. Hopefully they will have them ready and I can pay for an extra piece of luggage at the same time while Im there that way I am all set and don't have to worry about anything and that  things will go smoothly. Although I am worried about this one stop I have to make in Erie PA. I always seem to have problems switching buses there. They usually make me take the bus to Cleveland and then to Pittsburgh which is annoying because it's backtracking. Why can they just add cleveland to the list and that will take care of it is beyond me. The bus line is very bad at having their buses arrive at a certain time when doing a transfer. Airplanes are better with transfers. But we'll see how that goes and how it goes at the border too.

Taking Care of Srimate Radharani

Had some nice realization today with Radharani. She kept me on my toes today thorught out the day and gave me some extra seva to do. Seeing that Srimate Radharani always looks after us, it is our duty to help take care of Her and look after Her too since She helps us.

This morning after the morming program, Bhakta Tom came and found me in the pujari room. I was just about to start cleaning it when he told me that one of the new matajis that had just moved here needed help in the Deity kitchen cooking vegetables. He told me I'd only have to stay for a half an hour. But apparently Srimate Radharani appreciated me being in the kitchen helping the one mataji who was in the kitchen by herself. Another mataji joined us a few minutes later. Srimate Radharani had sent both of us to the Deity kitchen and wanted both of us to help Her serve Krishna. What a very special honor and blessing. Even though I was about to take care of the pujari room, something inside me said  worry about the pujari room later.

So the three of us had enjoyed making prasadam for Krishna. I chopped up cauliflower, spinach, parsely, and pinapple. I helped to make the pineapple nectar for Krishna. I cannot do the actual cooking since I am only first initiated. Only twice born devotees are allowed to cook for Krishna but I can at least help in cutting the vegetables. Then the mataji who was doing the cooking asked me to find a lid. So I did but it was too small. I had a realization after she tried to cover the pot with a lid. I said "That reminds me of a pasttime when Mother Yasoda tried tying Krishna to the wooden mortar, and her rope was always two inches too short, and He let her bind Him after He saw that out of love for Him, He let her do it."  The mataji thanked me later and I said it was no problem and that we are all Srimate Radharani's servants. It's only once in awhile that Srimate Radharani allows me to help in the Deity kitchen. Srimate Radharani is the one in charge of service throughout the whole temple. Im very happy that She wanted me to help.

My guru Maharaj is right. Srimate Radharani is taking care of me, but She is also taking care of other devotees not just me. Im too much of a fallen soul and do not deserve to have Her care for me. But I do feel fortunate to be in Her association by helping to cut up vegetables for Krishna's offering, and cleaning His pujari room etc.

All glories to Srimate Radharani. May She always continue to help care for Krishna's devotees in helping them return to Krishna in this life.

I offer my respecful obeisance unto Srimate Radharani who is so merciful in letting us perform Bhakti Yoga and devotional service for Krishna. I pray that She will help keep me strong and always to remember Krishna. Jaya Srimate Radharani!

Music Lessons!

At the beginning of this week, there has been a program to where devotees can learn how to play musical instruments for Krishna such as the kartals, harmonium, and the mrdanga drum.  I've always wanted to learn how to play a musical instrument, but my mother never allowed me to. She claimed that I never finish what I've started. But she always took guitar lessons, and had her own guitar. So now living in a temple I have a chance to learn how to play a musical instrument and I can learn how to play it for Krishna.

The first instrument we started to learn is the Kartals which are cymbols. There is a certain beat and angle one must do in order to play them. The beat is a one two three beat and you have to play the kartals at a slight angle to get a nice ring to the kartals. You can just bang on them like a toy. But I've got the hang of playing the kartals. I just have to try and practice singing and playing the kartals at the same time as that can be very tricky. But Im getting there.

Then this past Friday we learned a bit how to play the harmionium. That is even harder to play than kartals. I know one tune or melody now on the harmonium. It was a little tricky first but once you get the feel of it it's easy. You have to hit the key at a certain time otherwise you'll sound completely off key while you play the harmonium. It will take some time to learn.

Im sure the next instrument we'll learn on Monday is the mrdanga drum. Out of all the instruments I think the harmonium is the most difficult to play. But I think once I get practice in i'll be good with it. I know this will make my guru Maharaj very very pleased and then maybe I can really lead mangal aarti or the other Aartis with playing an instrument.

A Vaisnavi (Women's) Retreat To The Wilds

Just a few days ago, Malati, a senior Prabhupada disciple offered to take all the women on a special get away retreat. She hadn't told anyone what we were doing or where we were going until the day we went. We went on Wednesday for our outing and the weather was perfect for it.

It was a long two hour drive up to Ohio where we were going. Many of the women I was with were all acting like really young teenagers very excited about where we were headed. I was quiet for most of the trip. Mandakini also tagged along. She sat next to me in the van. On the way there everyone tried to guess where we were going. Then about and hour later Harinam mataji said "You just missed your first clue to where we are going. Pay attention to the signs on the road." So the matajis in the back kept their eyes out for the signs. It wasn't until we were about there that we guessed it. It was a zoo park called The The Wilds. It is located in Cumberland Ohio. It is very much like an African Safari like zoo.

The park has a lot of land. And it really did look like Africa almost only with hills. Africa doesn't have many hills as the land is mostly flat. But as we went in after we paid for our tickets for an open window bus which cost $30.00, we sat and watched a brief video about the zoo park. They had plenty to do there and things for kids to do and teenagers like camps and things. People could also stay over night if they wanted to. They also have pick up trucks that drive out into the fields and lets you get up close to the animals in the park that are in the distance.

The carnivor animals however are behind fences of course to keep visitors safe. The park had Rhinoceres, Zebras, Donkeys, Giraffes, endagered Deer,Cheetas, and Wild African Dogs etc. What I liked the most of course were the Cheetahs. They have such cute faces. And they too are endangered, as is most wild life on the planet. As I was watching the Cheetahs, the one Cheetah cub who was so cute was looking directly at me. And then as I was walking away three more Cheetahs including the cub who was looking at me, had all kept their eyes on me turning their heads slowly at me as I was walking away. I thought that was interesting. Maybe they sensed I love cats or something. But that little Cheetah cub was absolutely adorable. I love wild cats. Even when I was young I've always loved cats, and when I went to the zoo I always wanted to see the Big Wild Cats and nothing else.

Then after our nice trip around the zoo park, we went to have prasadam. We had lasgna, potato salad, bread sticks, pickles, and cupcakes. But we had a lot of fun. And all thanks to Malati for taking us out on a brief trip. It is said that sometimes even devotees need a brief break away from the temple for a day or two so as not to feel too isolated. But it was a very fun day for all of us.

Thank you again Malati for taking us out on a wild trip.

Hare Krishna.