Serving Guru In Separation

I always find this difficult. It is because I am around my guru Maharaj so much that is hard for me to realize that even the service I am doing for him I am still serving him in separation. And serving guru in separation they say is the highest service one can do.

The reason why I find it a bit difficult, is because when my guru Maharaj is here at the temple, he always lets me know if he was pleased with the service I do for him. And also sometimes he adds on little service for me to do for him. Maharaj gives everyone a chance to do some type of service for him. He's so merciful when it comes to that. He doesn't leave anyone out.

Now my guru Maharaj is away on a north american bus tour and he won't return until August 23rd. So I am still doing my service for him although lately I've had no wood polish so I could not do  that service for him and I felt a bit upset about it. But today I went to the dollar store and found some wood polish for 2 dollars. I can't stand it when there is a certain type of service I have ot do for Maharaj and I don't have the product for it to complete the service. I want to keep up with the cleaning and have it nice by the time he comes back. August 22nd will be much too busy to really try to get anything done because there will be so many people here so I want to try to finish the cleaning before hand.

Everytime Maharaj is away I always get terrified thinking "Am I serving Maharaj properly? Am I pleasing him?" I am very concious of this. Im determined to keep my guru Maharaj very pleased.
I've should have asked him this over the phone whne I talked to him but we didn't have time he was very very busy.

Sometimes too I always get concerned about when I am invited to go somewhere with devotees, but to me it didn't seem very spiritual and I feel like I must consult with Maharaj first. I hate doing things without his approval. It's just how I am. I'm trying to train myself to keep my mind focused on just Krishna. Even the smallest of things will disturb me when I am trying to focus on Krishna. So this is one reason why if I feel to me something doesn't feel right about going to a certain place or doing a certain thing, I feel I must have Maharaj's approval first. I love going out with devotees, just as long as it's something spiritual because my mind needs to be fixed on Krishna.