Will I Visit Mayapur One Day?

This question keeps appearing in my head. Will I ever visit Mayapur in India?

I have a strong desire to go there. I should keep my faith in Krishna in believe He will make the arrangement to go there. Maharaj said earlier this year that Krishna will take care of that for me. But how? The trip to India is so expensive. I don't have a job to save money for that trip. The plan ticket alone would be $1500 and to stay there is even more expensive too.

I do wish to see the Deities there. Their Deities are 8ft tall. And I want to know if the have a huge Tulasi garden there as well. I'd love to serve Tulasi there should I ever get the chance to visit. I am currently right now looking at photos of Sri Sri Radha and Madhava. Their Krishna is black and He's beautiful. I want to know how they got the Tulasi garland to be that thick! I know they must have many Tulasi manjaris to get it to look that thick. I hope my baby Tulasis when they get bigger will grow that many manjaris too. That was why I am growing her here in Toronto so that she will grow manjaris for Krishna that way He can wear her manjaris. I swear Im a complete Tulasi fanatic! I love serving her. Right now Im currently off altar and I cannot serve her until Saturday. :( I miss taking care of her myself already. I find comfort in her when Maharaj is away travelling. She keeps me busy.

But anyways back to Sri Mayapur. I saved many photos of the Deities. They have very pretty colorful outfits. It's too bad women are not allowed to go on the altar. :( I don't see that as fair. There are some things about the movement that bugs me but I learn to deal with it and accept it. Other than that I love what Krishna Conciousness teaches about spirituality because it makes alot more sense. And every time I see Krishna's Deity form in Mayapur in the pictures sometimes I just get totally lost in thought of Him because of His beauty. No wonder the gopis were crazy for Krishna. No body is more beautiful than Krishna.

Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha though in Toronto will ALWAYS be my favorite Deities. Sri  Mayapur well I don't know if They'd be my second favorite Deities...We'll see. Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha had been very very merciful to me more than any other Deities I've come acrossed. They are pretty much my life and soul. I was initiated in front of Them and a lot of it has to do with my guru Maharaj's influence with being in this temple when he's not travelling. And They've always let me do some sort of direct service to Them even though Im not second initiated yet to go on the altar to personally do an aarti for Them.

My desire still remains to visit Mayapur and maybe Vrndavan. But Vrndavan is too pure and I feel too contaminated to visit there nor am I qualified to visit there. Mayapur well maybe. I told my guru Maharaj that I won't go to India until he thinks I'm ready for it.