My Shiksha Guru

I now have a new Shiksha guru. His name is H.G Nirantara das Prabhu. He is a Prabhupada disciple who is based in the state of California and normally preaches at the Los Angeles Temple.

I can't remember exactly how I found him. I think it was when I first found mayapur.tv was how I found him and clicked on his channel. I sat there listening to his classes and just got so inspired. He reminds me of my own guru Maharaj in several ways. I had found Nirantara Prabhu I think about a year ago on mayapur.tv.

A few days ago I asked Nirantara Prabhu if he could be my Shiksha guru. He said yes. He said that Srila Prabhupada had once said that we can have many shiksha gurus and only one diksha guru(initiating guru). Nirantara Prabhu had found me on facebook and and I immediately added him and that's when I asked him if he could be my shiksha guru. :) Another good excuse to keep my facebook pages. I don't think I will be getting rid of my facebook pages now because I have my Cleveland friends on there and now I have my Shiksha guru on there as well.

I also love the concerts that Nirantara Prabhu sometimes does on his webcasts. A lot of his songs sounds so much like the Beatles which is what got me attracted to his lectures and music. I had asked him yesterday if he could dedicate a class and song for my guru maharaj's upcoming appearance day and he had also agreed to do it. He is so kind just like my guru Maharaj.

My dad has met Nirantara Prabhu the night I first met him in person back in March earlier this year. He had given my dad blessings and I know my dad has gotten purification from that alone.

Nirantara Prabhu has his own website that you can take a look at www.nirantara.com or you can find him on www.iskcondesiretree.net and click under Prabhujis and click on Prabhujis K-R then scroll down and click on H.G Nirantara das Prabhu. He has many of his songs and lectures on there as well. He normally gives classes on Thursdays and Sundays as far as I know but there are other days he does classes online. Sometimes on tuesdays like tonight he is giving a class and concert which I am excited about.  :) I cannot wait to hear it tonight.

My Guru Maharaj Mentioned George Last Week

Well my guru Maharaj knew I wasn't feeling too happy. My guru Maharaj knows me like a book inside and out. He even knows what I am thinking too.  So he finds his ways to cheer me up. And what does he do? He mentions George. :) This is one reason why I had surrendered to my guru Maharaj so easily. He knows about my background on how I came into Krishna Conciousness and so he had mentioned George at the end of class last week while my godbrother Ramachandra das Prabhu was here visiting.

So my guru Maharaj just says randomly at the end of class: "So everyone here knows how Hari Lila came to Krishna Conciousness through George Harrison?"

I felt so shy and embarrassed. Im very shy about telling others how I came to Krishna through George Harrison. I dunno why I just am. But Ramachandra das prabhu had told the story to everybody after class. I felt my face blush due to the shyness about it.

I told Maharaj that I don't even listen to the Beatles but that I still listen to George. Maharaj says George is different because he is a devotee. And in my past emails that Maharaj had sent to me he had specifically told me not to give up on George. He wrote in his email "Why put someone away that has brought you to Krishna? Hold onto his stuff." That's exactly what he told me to do. So I must follow those instructions.

I meant to write about this last Tuesday before he left but I just didn't have the time. Been so busy since Maharaj left for his walk across Canada. I miss Maharaj. He will be back Sept. 29th.

In the meantime though I am saving all of George's songs that I can find onto my ipod to listen to. Maharaj sort of revived that lost relationship I have with George through Krishna Conciousness. So Im slowly getting back into George's music even though I have hardly been listening to his music. I think I should just to remember that it was George who brought me to Krishna, Srila Prabhupada's books and then eventually led me to find my own guru Maharaj. George had completely changed my life around whichi is why I will never give up on him no matter what anyone tells me. You people out there who think I will get tired of George? You're WRONG because I never will! The reason why I haven't listened to George's music in a while is because I've been busy and before I couldn't figure out how to get his songs onto my ipod on mp3's but now I do so I can listen to him  more. My guru Maharaj named me after George believe it or not. Srila Prabhupada gave George the name "Haris-Son" which means Son of Hari. So my guru Maharaj named me Hari Lila which is why he named me that because of George. My name means "Servant of Krishna's pasttimes."

Krishna can find His way into our lives when He knows we are ready for Him. So Krishna found my way to Him through His devotee George Harrison. He knew I would respond to him quickly and then eventully surrender to Him that way. It was purification. I guess Krishna knew I was ready to surrender to Him or at least try to serve Him sincerly in this life. Many devotees like myself surrendered to Krishna through George's influence on us with spirituality.  So through the Krishna movement I feel a much stronger connection with George and of course Lord Krishna Himself who let me have many self realizations through His mercy alone. I am grateful that Lord Krishna sent my guru Maharaj to me. He's perfect for me to help me spiritually advance. Im so happy that my guru Maharaj is so kind to me.

Qualified Devotees

Lately many devotees have been coming through. Some new some who are regulars. These devotees live outside the temple. So they have more of a desire to come in and serve the Deities and my guru Maharaj.
So I feel these devotees are much more qualified than me. I'm nobody special. I have my problems, both health wise and spiritually. I still have false ego even though my guru Maharaj says I don't have any ego. Many people cannot tolerate me at all but my guru Maharaj has.
I still anxiously do my serivces to serve the Deities my guru Maharaj. But I have a tendency to over do it. I've done that on Moday, and Maharaj actually made me stop doing service and he wanted me to rest.

But back to the qualified devotees and enough about myself. I've observed how these devotees come in and do these services without hesitation. Because it is devotional service and they are practicing real bhakti. They are getting purified by doing these services for Krishna and devotees who live in the temple. In the temple there are only a few of us living here, and there is so much that needs to be done, but there are only a hand full of us. We cannot possibly finish all these services on our own without the help of these qualified devotees who come in to visit for the day.

This nice mataji who is new, came in to help in the kitchen. I heard Maharaj was extremely pleased with her services and she told me he came close to tears because of how she was doing her service. I told her she got a lot of mercy from my guru Maharaj if he came close to tears like that. Even I haven't gotten that kind of mercy from Maharaj even though he'd been pleased with me several times. I told her she is better than me, and more qualified than me to serve my guru Maharaj and she is not even initiated. She just came to this temple a week ago and already she's spiritually advancing and getting mercy from Maharaj and Krishna alone. I think she has started chanting a little bit. Bhakta Patrick has been teaching her things which is good. I'm not good at teaching anyone anything really. I wasn't meant to be a leader.  I never thought of myself as good enough to even be doing devtional service let alone utter Krishna's name. Im still very materially contaminated. I need to learn patience and tolerance yet, and especially I need to learn to control my emotion which get way out of hand sometimes. These things often prevent me from doing devotional serivce and as a result it makes me an unqualified devotee to be doing these services in the temple.

These devotees who come in don't seem to have any of these problems I have which is why I consider them more qualified than me. I know they will return to Krishna faster than me. I probably will have to return to this miserable material world again to fully get rid of my karma and false ego, but I just hope and pray to Krishna even if I do have to come back here I hope He will let me remember Him and still let me serve Him.

Major Maha Mantra Festival Weekend

This weekend is going to be a busy one. So much is going on. Tomorrow night we have Prabhupada movie night. They will be showing the films Following Srila Prabhupada. I have seen those already in New Vrndavan. Friday evening there is a harinam from 6:30pm till 8:30pm downtown Toronto. I will attend that one And then Saturday we have a Beatles Festival. I really want to go to that. The only reason why I am going to the Beatles festival is because I am going with devotees and we're going to spread Krishna's holy names. I would not just go for the Beatles themselves. And also Im going because George is involved in the festival, and George had brought me to Krishna. Then Sunday we have a special Sunday program with kirtans and all and Tuesday is the grande finale with a major kirtan and pizza party. That's going to be fun. I'll have to tone it down on my services and get rest so I dont wear myself out for any of these fun things. Tomorrow I will try to get plenty of rest for the kirtan on Friday so I am ready for it.  I am excited about all these things happening. This will help ease the pain of separation from Maharaj as I had been feeling the separation all day today few times I almost was in tears because of it. But Im okay now pretty much. Usually the first or second day after he leaves to go somewhere it's hard for me but i recover afterwards.
I will take pictures and try to record some videos too if I can. I definately want to get pictures of the Beatles festival as I had never been to one before because my parents couldn't afford to take me to one. Im going to bring my picture of George to set up at our section when we do our sankirtan serivce.

I wonder if and when I do to move tot he Los Angeles temple that they will have things like this too.I hope I can do service for Tulasi there too if I can. But we'll see what Krishna arranges. But for now I am looking forward to the kirtans this weekend. 

My Guru Maharaj's 4th Walk Across Canada

Well my guru Maharaj begins his 4th walk across Canada. Last night we had held a suprise send off party for him. Unfortunately I could not attend the party last night as I was too exhausted from Sunday and yesterday from doing service. Maharaj actually made me stop doing service yesterday because he didn't want me to fall apart. He wanted me to rest so I did. Tara had recorded a bit of it so I watched it. It was so nice to see that Maharaj was happy about the suprise party. Maharaj has brochures of him about is walk across Canada. Mother Subhuddhi let me have one since Maharaj has a whole bunch of them to distribute while he's out for his walk.

Today my godbrother Ramachandra das Prabhu had visited the temple. We spent some time catching up together and we also had lunch with Maharaj and chatted with him outside his office. It's always nice to have my guru Maharaj's association. Especially now since he's doing so much travelling these days. So I try to relish his association.

Im happy he's going on his walk across Canada but at the same time I will miss him a lot. He does mean a lot to me. I just hope he will be careful and Im glad he's taking someone with him to help him and also for emergencies if any. I hope the person with him will take pictures of Maharaj walking. We don't have enough photos of Maharaj walking. I would love to see some of those. I am also interested to see what kind of people he will meet. Today in class he was telling us about these drunk guys he ran into on one of his walks and it was quite humorous, but this is one reason why I worry about him walking late at night because of strange people that are out there and could be dangerous. Ive heard quite a few scary stories about Maharaj's walks like the one time he stepped on a catfish at a beach while walking, and then another time I heard a bear had followed him. and this was no small bear too they said it was a HUGE bear possibly a grizzly bear. But anyways I look forward to reading about his walking adventures for the next three weeks. :)

Obstacles In Devotional Service Again

Krishna is testing me again. Lately I've had a few obstacles in devotional service.

These last few days I fell ill. It was this past thursday I was feeling sick. I was getting hot and cold flashes, and didn't feel like eating much. I ate very light those past few days. And i still do today too because my cough hurts my stomach too sometimes. I still went to Mangal Aarti even though I was sick. If I hadn't gone to mangal aarti, I would have been very upset with myself. I HATE missing out on Mangal Aarti. I consider it a great loss if I don't see Krishna first thing in the morning and then I'd feel like my whole day is spoiled if I don't see Him. But anyways that Thursday morning my guru Maharaj was going to leave for Miami Florida. I could only stand up for a few minutes  but went to go sit down as I was feeling dizzy and my stomach was feeling nauseous. After the kirtan was over, Maharaj came over to check on me. He's so kind to me that at times I feel like I want to cry. Im so grateful to Krishna that He allowed me to surrender to my guru Maharaj who is so gentle and kind and very merciful. Maharaj advised me to dress warm and not to be in too much anxiety. He thought maybe I had a slight fever but I told him my temperature was normal. I found out a few days later that I have a sore throat. which was the cause of what I was feeling. Despite the cold I caught though,, I still tried to do my service to the best I could. It's the only way I can teach myself tolerance sometimes. I HAD to take care of Tulasi because She is a pure devotee. I tried doing a little kitchen service but when I felt I couldn't do anymore I had to stop. Even on Radhamashtami I had health problems due to my bad back. I tried doing service but apparently Srimate Radharani wanted me to rest and she let me know it by showing me that there were plenty of devotees in the kitchen helping. So I did what I could. Maharaj told me to take it easy this weekend while he's away.

Then also these last few days I as I was trying to do my serivce, I felt overwhelmed with service again. This one bramharchari is always asking for help every five minutes. And also whenever this bramharchari is in the kitchen I feel like I can never get anything done because he always needs the space that i am in and it doesn't matter when I try to do something else in the kitchen he still needs even that spot that I am working in every five minutes.  I had to tell Mahavendra Puri about this problem because he is authority. He told me not to worry about it. So all I can do is keep telling this brahmarchari no I cannot do it. I've had this problem in New Vrndavan too witb being overloaded with service or devotees telling me how to do things this way or that way. I just can't handle that. Because if more than one person tells me how to do something or tells me to do something I won't know who to listen to. So I've been trying to train myself to be firm when things like this come up but I still have to be humble about it at the same time which is  the hard part. These are some of the things I need to work on.

And also I need to overcome my fear of being in crowds too. I've been trying to get myself to go the Sunday evening programs here to try to get used to it. I just don't like it when people push and shove into one another and I don't like it when it comes to the point where it's so crowded that you cannot move.  These things also interrupt my devotional service when I want to be at the Aartis on Sunday as devotional service to the Deities. I hope Krishna will help me to overcome these fears if I gradually work at it.

Radhamashtami 2011

This year like with Janmashtami, I spent Radhamashtami in Toronto Ontario. Both were very nice. I loved how the Deities were dressed. I think that Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha are the most beautiful Deities in all of Iskcon. Most devotees do have their own preferences too with their favorite Deities. But they are all Krishna so its okay to have a favorite since it's transcendental.

Anyways we had to fast until 12 noon for Radhamashtami. Fasting until 12 noon is easy to do. Janmashtami was very very difficult due to fasting until 12 midnight but I still managed to do it through Krishna's mercy. I had an upset stomach on Janmashtami from fasting but I knew I had to fast for Krishna's pleasure and I did my best to tolerate it. But fasting for Radharani was very simple and easy for She is always merciful.

Toronto's temple celebrates Radhamashtami quite different than what New Vrndavan had celebrated it. Had I known how Toronto celebrated Radhamashtami I would have bought Srimate Radharani a little something too. But I will know for next year when I am here for it. At 6pm the program began for Srimate Radharani. The flower outfit was very beautiful. The Deities did wear a new outfit during the day. I will post here shortly with the pictures. The kirtan was very nice and viewing the Deities on Radharani's appeareance day was much easier. It was just like a regulara Sunday program. The kirtan was nice. Then after the kirtan one of our senior Prabhupada disciples gave a very short class about Srimate Radharani for about 20 minutes. After that the gifts were offered to Srimate Radharani for her birthday. So it was a real transcendental birthday party for Srimate Radharani. The pujaris opened the gifts for Her and showed them to Her and read the birthday cards to Her. And also a light bhajan was held in between, and readings about the Deities. Actually Septm4th was the day the Deities were installed in Toronto's temple so it was a very auspicious day for Them.

Also a Hindu wedding ceremony was held too. I stayed for most of it. It was interesting. They had Deities of Lord Ganesh there. Lord Ganesh is a demigod. And I think this wedding I heard was not part of Iskcon but they chose to have the wedding here in the temple because the parents of the bride or the groom are Iskcon devotees and big donars to the temple. But it was still a nice ceremony for the couple. I send my best wishes to them.

It was very nice to hear about Srimate Radharani. All glories to Srimate Radharani.
Here are some photos of the Deities on Radhamashtami.

Offering Obeisances To My Guru Maharaj Realization

Since Maharaj came back and even before then,I find myself always offering my humble obeisances to him at his lotus feet both in the morning and evening before I go to bed when he is here. I also offer him Tulasi's flower after I offer it to her.   And just this morning a realization hit me as I had offered my obeisances to him.

I had asked Maharaj this morning when he was leaving and he said in five minutes so I immediately bowed down to his lotus feet and when I did that I felt so sheltered and protected by him.  I feel like there is a protective shield around me every time I offer my obeisances to him. Im so happy that Maharaj is so kind and thoughtful, gentle, and caring to everyone. 

I do the same for Srila Prabhupada as well because I have been going to the last darshan lately. So I feel protected by Srila Prabhupada as well. I have something nice in mind to write in my offering to my guru maharaj when his appearance day comes. I just want it to be something that will touch his heart and something he won't forget.

I also feel the same when I offer obeisances to the Deities at Their Lotus Feet. They too make you feel sheltered and protected. Im grateful Krishna gave me this realization. I just may write this in my guru maharaj's offering for his appearance day. I just have to figure out how to say it.

People who are non devotees may think it strange bowing down before a spiritual master or priest but it should be done because he is a representive of God as he does preach about God which is why we bow down to our guru maharaj. It is said that the spiritual master is to be honored as much as the Supreme Lord because he is the most confidential servitor of the Lord. The spiritual master is not to be thought of as an ordinary person. He is a spiritual person. And I believe in that about my spiritual master.  In fact my guru maharaj reminds me so much of Lord Chaitanya because he is so merciful and very tolerant of everyone and everything. So I know for sure that my guru Maharaj is very spiritual and he came from the spiritual world to here to help us return home to Krishna as Srila Prabhupada did when he was present in this world.

So I believe as long as I keep offering my obeisances to my guru Maharaj I know I will always feel sheltered and protected by him. One cannot make any spiritual advancement without the grace of the spiritual master. 

Tulasi Is Still Keeping Me Busy

Well Tulasi Devi sure is still keeping me busy.I had no idea that she'd be allowing me to serve her like this. I wasn't doing much in the beginning but somehow or other Srimate Radharani or Krishna Himself must have seen my desire to serve their pure devotee Tulasi Devi.

Today I had spent nearly 5 hours in her green house in the sweltering heat. But service needed to be done for her. I have so many baby Tulasis to care for and I transplanted 19 of them today because they were too big for the seedling container. I needed to wash her pots and then add fresh soil to them. I think she will grow a lot faster if she is in her own pot instead of all together in a seedling container. Most of the Baby Tulasis are getting ready to grow another set of leaves! Some of them are looking so pretty even now and Im finding myself very much attached to her becasue of how pretty she looks. She maybe tiny now but her leaves are looking big and beautiful. And she is only about three weeks old! She is growing quickly.

Just these past few days I had more baby Tulasis appear. After I had transplanted one of the bigger Tulasis, three more baby ones had appeared and I did not even plant these. I don't know how she got there. This Tulasi is hanging over on the side of teh pot so there was no way seeds could have fallen in there! Unless these seeds have been there but got lost in the soil and maybe somehow found their way near the top so that they could grow. So today i put them in their own pot as well so as not to get lost in the soil becasue they are so tiny. Then this morning when was nearly finished taking care of her I found yet ANOTHER baby Tulasi come up in the seedling container. I could have sworn she was done growing all her seeds. I was not expecting any more to pop up but apparently she is still linguiring in the soil somewhere still I think.

I always keep my guru Maharaj updated on how the baby Tulasis are doign and I always offer him a flower from Tulasi after I had offered it to her. He had told me to keep serving her and that she will take care of me. I also told him that I think Tulasi is trying to tell me something, and he said it's because she loves me but I don't deserve that kind of love from a pure devotee as I am still materially contaminated. Tulasi must be happy with the service I am doing for her at least I hope I am pleasing her because if she is pleased Krishna Himself is pleased.

I always go up to Tulasi's green house three times a day usually depending on how hot it is. I went up there three times today. I chant my rounds to her during japa in her greenhosue,,then after class I take care of her, and then later in the afternoon I try doing a little maha clean up in her greenhouse or I transplant her if she needs it or trim manjaris if I run out of time in the morning. When I clean her room though I still feel as though it's still not clean enough for her! I feel that there still is something to do in her greenhouse. Tulasi usually lets me know what she wants done. Other times I can figure it out myself what needs to be done.

My guru Maharaj will be going on his fourth walk across Canada soon. So I know I will keep busy withTulasi until he returns. He's been travelling so much nd I find myself missing him a lot but Tulasi helps ease the pain of separation from him because he instructed me to take care of her so when I take care of her I can feel my guru maharaj's presence while he's away.

All glories to Tulasi Maharani.