Sunday, August 28, 2011

Last Nights Home Program

Don't get me wrong. I love home programs. And this one was particularly great. I loved it except toward the end where everyone was crammed into the small temple room downstairs in the house. But other than that it was a great program all around.

Three sanniyasis were there and my guru Maharaj Bhaktimarga Swami was one of them. My guru Maharaj led a fantastic kirtan as he always does. I love how he leads kirtan and his singing voice is great! Better than the karmi musicians I used to like. Now if I see any concert, I only want to see my guru Maharaj lead kirtan. He is my favorite and always will be.

Then the other two guru maharajs gave lectures. I really liked the one guru maharaj as he had a sense of humor as he told the stories about Krishna and the gopis. I liked him.I enjoyed the past times that the other two guru maharajs gave about Krishna. It was nectar to my ears. After that there were girls who danced on stage and a light drama about baby krishna. Then my guru Maharaj led kirtan again, and he led everyone downstairs to the temple room. However I could not stay for long because it was too small of a room with too many people in it. I felt too crammed and felt like i couldn't breath so I went outside to get some air. I tried to chant some rounds while I waited for everyone to come back up. I was feeling tired exhausted, and a bit upset. Maharaj then came up and saw me. He came over to me to check on me to see if I was okay. He knew I was exhausted and wanted to go back to the temple.  He was so kind to me and gave me comfort. He is the only one who can calm me down when i get stressed out. He told me I didn't have to go to Mangal Aarti the next morning but I did anyway. I cannot bear going without seeing krishna first thing in the morning. Krishna is what keeps me going through out the day if i see Him first thing.

 So today Im resting up a bit. Im in my room because i need a break from the crowds. I should be okay and recovered by tomorrow. but other than that the program was still nice. :)

Saturday, August 20, 2011

Forest of Baby Tulasis

Well it has been a week now since the new baby Tulasis started growing. These baby Tulasis are for Sri Sri Radha Ksiracora Gopinatha. I fear that some of the older Tulasis may leave their body this winter after I leave which is why I am growing these baby ones that way Krishna will still have Tulasi offered to His Lotus Feet and Tulasi manjaris to wear.

Two baby Tulasis are just about a week old. And the rest of them had appeared just a few days earlier. Most of them had opened her leaves. The two oldest ones are ready to grow a second set of leaves.

Three times a day I check on baby Tulasi. This morning when I went to take care of her and also to chant my rounds I had discovered that about 10 of them appeared in the seedling container. Then later in the morning I found six more baby Tulasis that had appeard. She seems to be responding quickly to the service I have been doing. And I love taking care of her. She brings happiness and comfort to me.

So ever since these baby Tulasis have appeared I have become much much MUCH more attached to Tulasi than I was before. I seem to always be in her green house and at times I feel like she doesn't want me to leave her greenhouse either. Im very happy my guru Maharaj told me to continue serving Tulasi becasue he said that Tulasi  will help me stay anchored in Krishna Conciousness.

Wednesday, August 17, 2011

Taking Shelter of Tulasi Devi

Well those other plants that I thought were Tulasi turned out not to be her. I don't know why they have a bag of seeds in her room when they are not her seeds.

So now I have used seeds from her manjaris to grow her. Three of them have sprouted but unfortunately one of them did not make it because she was much too tiny I think she got lost in the soil somewhere but she was in a seedling container like the others are so that wouldn't happen but it still did. I was upset about that. But the two that have survived are doing well and have opened their leaves almost. :) She may be big enough by the time my guru Maharaj comes back to see her. She may even have a second set of leaves by then I hope.
I also planted a few extra seeds again in case the other seeds i planted do not grow. I hope to see a few more tulasis grow.

Lately I just can't seem to get myself away from Tulasi's greenhouse. And later in the day I feel like she is calling me to come back upstairs to her. She has been such good company for me while my guru Maharaj has been away. I chant my rounds in her green house, and then I also make manjari tulasi garlands for Krishna while Im in her green house. I feel that is like my safe haven is in her green house. Even this evening when I was in her green house I didn't even want to leave her especially the baby Tulasis that are growing.  I spend most of my time in her green house after I do my other services.

Anyone can take care of Tulasi if they have pure love and devotion for her. Titles do not matter or who you are a disciple of. My guru Maharaj specifically instructed me to continue serving Tulasi Maharani and I am strictly following his instructions on this one. He wants me to serve her. So by serving her I am also serving my guru and Krishna. I must be doing something right if she is now growing well. I always ask forgivness from her if I have committed any offenses to her and I thank her for allowing us to serve Krishna. I am a very fallen soul but yet Tulasi is still very merciful. I am still aspiring to be her maidservant always. :) I never want to leave her association now. She helps to ease the pain of separation from my guru Maharaj while he's away. I hope in Los Angeles I can do something for her. Hopefully I can chant near her greenhosue outside too in Los Angeles as well. I never saw their Tulasi greenhouse in Los Angeles. Hopefully when I go there I will.  I don't want to lose sight of Tulasi Devi or lose out on doing service for her. Krishna says that if one serves His pure devotee, then that person is directly serving Him. So I am trying to surrender myself under Tulasi Devi's service so that I can serve Krishna at the same time.

Saturday, August 6, 2011

Serving Guru In Separation

I always find this difficult. It is because I am around my guru Maharaj so much that is hard for me to realize that even the service I am doing for him I am still serving him in separation. And serving guru in separation they say is the highest service one can do.

The reason why I find it a bit difficult, is because when my guru Maharaj is here at the temple, he always lets me know if he was pleased with the service I do for him. And also sometimes he adds on little service for me to do for him. Maharaj gives everyone a chance to do some type of service for him. He's so merciful when it comes to that. He doesn't leave anyone out.

Now my guru Maharaj is away on a north american bus tour and he won't return until August 23rd. So I am still doing my service for him although lately I've had no wood polish so I could not do  that service for him and I felt a bit upset about it. But today I went to the dollar store and found some wood polish for 2 dollars. I can't stand it when there is a certain type of service I have ot do for Maharaj and I don't have the product for it to complete the service. I want to keep up with the cleaning and have it nice by the time he comes back. August 22nd will be much too busy to really try to get anything done because there will be so many people here so I want to try to finish the cleaning before hand.

Everytime Maharaj is away I always get terrified thinking "Am I serving Maharaj properly? Am I pleasing him?" I am very concious of this. Im determined to keep my guru Maharaj very pleased.
I've should have asked him this over the phone whne I talked to him but we didn't have time he was very very busy.

Sometimes too I always get concerned about when I am invited to go somewhere with devotees, but to me it didn't seem very spiritual and I feel like I must consult with Maharaj first. I hate doing things without his approval. It's just how I am. I'm trying to train myself to keep my mind focused on just Krishna. Even the smallest of things will disturb me when I am trying to focus on Krishna. So this is one reason why if I feel to me something doesn't feel right about going to a certain place or doing a certain thing, I feel I must have Maharaj's approval first. I love going out with devotees, just as long as it's something spiritual because my mind needs to be fixed on Krishna.

A New Tulasi Devi Plant

I  have gotten so much more attached to Tulasi than I have last year. Being here in Toronto with her really got me attached to her. My guru Maharaj told me to continue serving Tulasi so I am simply following his instructions.

In the morning I dress her by putting on one of her pretty dresses. I dressed her with the blue and orange dress today. I also set up her aarti tray in the morning and then during Tulasi puja I do aarti for her. So I had gotten attached to doing these things for her. I love seeing her first thing in the morning, because she helps me to get anxious to see Krishna in the morning then too.

Last weekend a guest must have forgotten their tulasi plant. I found her in a plastic bag the next morning by Prabhupada's vyasa san. And when I saw her there I immediately took her upstairs and took care of her this week. It was a good thing I checked to see what was in the bag! I have a sharp eye for Tulasi and can sense her presence whenever she's around. And last month I had found her in the botique and she hadn't been taken care of so I took her upstairs with the other ones to look after until they find homes for them. I am also looking after 40 other baby tulasi plants until they find homes for them.  The baby Tulasis are doing very well as are the older ones.

Then later in the morning after breakfast I immediately go upstairs to take care of her. I give her a water spray bath and on Mondays I give her the insect spray to keep the white flies and spider mites off of her. I also give her a little water every day due to the hot weather here in Toronto. Also I pick her manjaris when she has them and her leaves I don't have to pick becasue she automatically drops them when I spray her with water. I also clean her room too like I did in New Vrndavan during the winter.

Awhile back I had to transplant one Tulasi plant as she was in another pot with another Tulasi and her branches were touching the other Tulasi so She definately needed to have her own pot. Since I transplanted her she is doing very well. I've been keeping close watch on her.

Then just earlier this week on Monday I planted three Tulasi seeds. and just yesterday one of them started growing! Today she now has two teeny tiny green leaves that are starting to open. I have also been keeping an extremely close watch on this baby Tulasi. I've already become so attached to her. I hope she will be big enough for Maharaj to see when he comes back, I really would love to show her to him.He'd be very pleased. These past two mornings I have gone into Tulasi's room and chanted my rounds there and it seemed to help the baby tulasi seeds a bit. The other two tulasi seeds haven't started growing yet, but I hope they will. Now I am finding myself not wanting to leave her green house becasue I want to keep a close watch on the new tiny tulasi plant that is growing. She needs a lot of love and care to keep her strong.  I think on Janmashtami I may stay up in her greenhouse just before midnight as I can see the doors open from there and it won't be as crowded hopefully by her greenhouse. But anyways, Im so happy about the little Tulasi plant that is growing now. As she gets bigger I will keep posting photos of her with the changes she goes thru when she gets bigger.