Anxious For Krishna

How to be anxious for Krishna. That has been going through my head all day today. Ever since this morning. I don't know how that came into my head.  Only Krishna knows since He knows everything.

There are many examples on how to be anxious for Krishna. But the stories are a bit tricky to understand. One cannot imatate the pure devotee only try to follow in Their footsteps. So how to do that is the question. I have also been told that one should be careful on what you ask for. Because Krishna has the power to put us in a dangerous situation to force us to become anxious for Him. But at the same time if we remember Krishna, no harm would come to us. It takes a lot of faith to believe in that.

For example Queen Kunti and her sons were put in a dangerous situation. Being tortured by the Kurus she felt she were in the midst of tigers. She anxious prayed to Krishna as if He were right there in front of  her for protection. She had to wait patiently. Krishna responds to His pure devotees on how much love the have for Him.

Then there is Lord Chaitanya. He was always anxious for Krishna. He chanted Lord Krishna's Holy names with great ectatsy, even fainted when He saw Krishna in the temple. He refused to wake until someone had chanted Krishna's Holy Names. Even as a child He had cried and cried and wouldn't stop until the Gopis had chanted Krishna's Holy Names.

When the Gopis saw Krishna leaving for Mathura they became anxious for Him. They did not want Him to leave. So they tried holding back the chariot, and with tears in their eyes they begged Krishna not to go. And also another time when Krishna had disappeared from them, they all became anxious for Krishna, they couldn't even live without seeing Him personally.

So how to follow their examples is the main question. When will I be able to have those feelings for Krishna? Maybe I am too materially contaminated to have these feelings for Krishna and I feel terrible about that. I hope maybe one day Krishna will allow me to have these special feelings for Him. I know when I visit my family I can't bear being without Krishna. I have to have a picture of Him at least with me at all times. So I guess that is a start. If I am not in a temple, I'd definately feel the separation from Krishna. I went through it for three weeks back in march when I was visiting family. I missed going to Mangal Aarti seeing Krishna every morning. I'll just have to keep that in my head to start having those feelings for Krishna.