Maybe I'm Still Too Spiritually Blind

Maybe I'm still spiritually blind. I've been thinking here today about somethings.

This morning I wasn't feeling very well i had an upset stomach but by later in the morning around 9:30am I was feeling better so I headed downstairs into the temple room to chant my rounds. It was a very peaceful and quiet morning. I felt like I had the Deities all to myself which was nice but there was one other Prabhu in the temple room with me. I forgot his name. I'm terrible with names and have a hard time pronoucing them.

But later in the day I ran into the same Prabhu that was with me in the temple room as I was doing my laundry in the afternoon. He was saying that what we are doing in the temple is basically the highest thing we could do in this material world as long as we're with devotees and serving Krishna directly by doing things around the temple. So this is what brought me to thinking...and I feel somewhat guilty of it too in a way. I think I'm too spiritually blind to realize or appreciate being in the temple doing direct service. I might be still materially covered. But Krishna is still being merciful to me. I don't know why though because I feel like I'm the worst devotee here, but Sudevi says I'm doing fine even though I don't feel like I am. I know that Krishna is waiting for me to open my spiritual eyes to see how valuable temple service really is. *sigh* I wish I could see it right now but I don't think it will happen over night. I continue to chant my rounds, and do reading. I did  alot of that today since I had to be off altar and same with tomorrow too. I try to think of the Gopis and how they always continually thought of Krishna and always wanted to some type of service to Him without hesitation. I admire them for that and try to do what they do, but I'm no where even NEAR that point like the Gopis, far from it! I'm only getting very little nectar out of it right now compared to what the Gopis do. I'm a very very fallen and confused soul. I think this is one of the things I plan on talking to Maharaj about. I know he can help heal my blindness about these things.

More Meditation

Been awhile since my last post. I was under stress at the beginning of this month but things are quiet now.

Now that it's quiet with so many devotees that had left, I can meditate more. I've also gotten rid of my karmi movies that I used to watch and don't have the time nor care to watch anymore. So that gives me even more time and more concentration to meditate on Krishna during my free time. The Deity doors are open all day today so sometime today I'm going to try to find a good time to chant a little more. I do like to chant when the Deity doors are open. I usually like to sit by Lord Nrsimadeva most of the time.

I also try to meditate on Tulasi a lot too since She is a pure devotee of Krishna. I often wonder how she is rearranging the place for Radha and Krishna to meet. That is what She does from what I learned about Her. Our Tulasi is hanging in there although the cold weather here is making her wilt a bit. The young Tulasis are doing very well and so are some of the older ones, but there are quite a few that are not doing so well. One devotee here said that she is peforming austerities, which does make a lot of sense.

I haven't really had any realizations yet but I probably will by the time I get to Toronto. Initiation is on Jan. 1st. What a way to start off the new year. A new name, a new life, a whole new me I guess with my spiritual life. Hopefully initiation will put an end to the life I had in the past and make me forget about it and focuse more on serving my spiritual master and Krishna.

Remembering George Harrison November 29th 2001

Today was a difficult day for me and for all George fans around the world. Today was the day that George had passed away on. I felt like it was the longest day of my life but I'm glad today is over with.

I woke up this morning not feeling too well. I actually did not want to face this day but I knew I had to. I chanted my rounds and did some service to try to get my mind off of it.  After lunch I stayed in my room most of the day. I was suprised that hardly anyone was really online at the georgeharrison.com message board. Some members were there made one or two posts and then left. It seems like they only come around on this day and that's it for the rest of the year. Its kind of sad. I try to post there when I think of something to post worthwhile.

But anyways, at 3:30pm this afternoon I chanted the last of my rounds, then at 4pm I read George's favorite Bhagavad Gita verse Ch. 2 Text 12. I even read the sankskrit part. I wasn't sure if I pronounced any of the words right though. Then after that I read from the Krishna Book to him too. I read about Mother Yasoda binding Lord Krishna since George like that photo I think or liked photos of Lord Krishna and Mother Yasoda together which is why I read that story to him. Then at 4:25 I put on two more garlands around George's picture. His picture actually look very pretty with all the flowers around him. I gave him Radha and Krishna's garland, Lord Nrsimadeva's garland and also Lord Chaitanya's garland to him including Tulasi's flowers that were offered and even one of Srila Prabhupada's offered flowers. here is a picture of what it looks like. Click on the link below to view
http://i837.photobucket.com/albums/zz297/simplycloudnine/DSCN1715.jpg

I broke down in tears at 4:30pm and I played My Sweet Lord on my CD player. I quietly said a little prayer for George but I felt like I was just talking to him. I said this to him...

"Thank you for bringing me to Krishna. I wouldn't be at this temple if it wasn't for you.
Please don't come back to this world it is a terrible place. I know that you are in the spiritual world somewhere. I love you always George. You'll always have a special place in my heart. "

After that I had offered my obeisances to him. Since he is a devotee, normally all devotees offer obeisances to each other. Mother Sudevi who is a senior Prabhupada disciple even offered her obeisances to George too which I was suprised to see.

But now i feel a bit better since this day is just about over. I hope George liked what i did for him today. I don't know how many other fans out there have done the same thing like I did but I just felt I had to do it for him since he was so deeply into Krishna Conciousness. he brought me to Krishna and I'm about to be initiated soon as well. God Bless George.

Getting Close To the Day

Its been awhile since my last post. I had to get my computer fixed to use the internet again.
Things have been tough lately at the temple. Everyone seems to be uptight but then again we are short handed on help and perhaps that is why.

This morning things didn't go so well. I got chatised again about the wash clothes in the pujari room by this same pujari who keeps on nip picking at me everyday about something. I'm trying my best to tolerate it but it's very very difficult. I do take things a bit too personally but that's just how I am with that. I have been bullied by kids in school, nip picked the same way at my last job, and went through verbal abuse with my parents, so it's hard for me NOT to take things so personal. I don't know if I'll ever get over that stage yet. I emailed my spiritual master Bhaktimarga Swami about it and asked him what I should do.  I had promised him I'd follow his instructions the best I can. In the Bhagavatam Class today the speaker explained that the spiritual master is pretty much nondifferent from Krishna since the spiritual master is giving instruction on how to come home to Krishna just like Krishna instructed Arjuna. So I'm trying to follow that the best I can.

In two days is the day that George Harrison left this material world. That day will be hard for all of us George fans. For me it still hurts, and I'm trying so hard not to lament about it. Hopefully being in the temple will help chase the sadness away. The other day I had felt George's presence. He's still very much around. But I still cringe about that day whenever someone says Nov. 29th. I set up my small tribute for George last night. I put a purple cloth underneath George's picture. It's in a white frame. I also put a flower garland around his picture as well. I'm going to try to do extra service or chant more if I can on that day. It all depends on how I'm feeling. I'll always remember George for how he had changed my life around.

Purification and Tolerance, and Humbleness

Well it's been a tough week but somehow I managed to pull through it. I had been having severe emotional problems. Most of it was due to homesickness. I have to call Dayal more often to talk to him.I talked to him on Friday on the way back from going into town. I caught him while he was driving to go to practice with his band that night.He told me that he'd send me some Prabhupada lectures to listen to everyday to help me overcome these emotional problems. I also read Prabhupada's books everyday when i can too to help.

The emotional feelings I'd had been having though it just felt like I had everyone gang up on me on the service that i have been doing. That's when I felt like I was doing everything wrong and not the way they wanted it done. But lately now they leave me alone. So I have been feeling a lot better. Although when I had those emotional feelings I came close to moving back to Cleveland. but I want to talk with Maharaj about this too and see what he says in what I should do if I feel like I am not going to make it in New Vrndavan. But so far I'm okay with it now.

Yesterday too I ran into an incident as well. This tall indian gentleman was talking so harshly to Rupa Nuga about some problem he saw go on outside the temple. I was just sitting waiting patiently for the gentleman to finish talking to him, and after he was finished this gentleman wrongly accused me of looking at him the wrong way like he was a kid or something. He asked me how old I was and then rudely said that he was more than twice my age and demanded respect from me. Then he cursed me by saying Krishna would not let me stay at the temple or He'd punish me in some way for an offense I had no clue that I committed. This gentleman acted as if it was a great sin I committed. So I simply said to him, Please excuse my offense I did not know I committed an offense. The gentleman just looked at me sternly then walked away. So I didn't let this bother me. I did my best to try to be humble and I'm sure Krishna saw that I at least tried.

Diwali and Govardana Puja

Today is Diwali. It is considered a New Year in Krishna Conciousness. And tomorrow is Govardana Hill Puja when Krishna lifted this hill with just His pink finger at age 7 years old. Both stories behind these auspicious days are very interesting to me. I love the Diwali one as it was about Lord Rama returning home from exile. I don't know why I have such an attraction to Lord Rama. I love His pasttimes about how He rescued Sita, and how he destroyed Ravana with His bow and arrows. The story is just fascinating. Govardana Hill story reminds me of Noah's Ark from the Christian Bible. Krishna protected the residents of Vrndavana from the heavy rains for 7 days and 7 nights. Only difference is that Noah used an ark and stayed in it for 40 days and 40 nights. But the stories are still so similar.Here is a link to read more about Diwali and Govardana Hill.

Diwali/Govardana Puja

We have no set schedule today for Diwali but we do have a schedule for tomorrow I think. Varasana Swami is going to give a lecture tomorrow evening not sure what time unless he's doing one for tonight.

There are only a couple guests today. I had a hard time waking up this morning as my stomach was  a bit upset but I'm better now. I still have four rounds to chant. I cleaned up the pujari room and took care of Tulasi. I still have to clean the women's ashram, make garlands, and if I have time organize the Lord's jewerly this afternoon. I think I'm going to save some service for the afternoon to keep me a little busy.  :) I also have the Deity plate transfer tonight at 7pm and also Tulasi puja.

It's a rainy day today in New Vrndavan but what made me smile was seeing the cute peacocks outside. I love their eyes and they have such pretty colors. We have brown and white peacocks. Yesterday there were a bunch of them right outside the temple door peeking in. It was very cute. They had four babies with them too. Animals are my weakness. I love them. I've always loved animals since I was little. Mainly because my mother does too so it kind of stuck onto me with that.

I called my friend Dayal yesterday. It was so good to talk to him. I had sent him a letter with a couple pictures in it. Bhakta Max is still here in New Vrndavan. He is considering on staying permanantely but not right at the moment. It'd be nice if he does stay here permanantly.

Well gotta get ready for the festival.I'll try to have more later.

Hare Krishna

Peaceful Monday

Today was very peaceful and much more relaxing. I sort of woke up a bit late around 4am. I try to get up earlier than that to chant my rounds. But after a busy weekend I was too exhausted to get up at 3am.

We had a small Bhagavatam class this morning. We're still reading about Krishna lifting Govardana Hill since we have Govardana Hill Puja this weekend. The prasadam this morning was great but at lunch I couldn't really eat it as it was too spicey and salty. But the association was good today. I sat with Sudevi, Bhaktin Angie and Siki Mahiti devi dasi this morning and afternoon. Mandakini was there too but only for a short time as she had to go to work.

My spirits have been lifted up a bit today too. Maybe it was the sugar in the prasadam lol. Mother Sudevi was very tired today though. I hope she got some rest when she got home before she started doing chores around her apartment. I still felt a bit tired myself but managed to stick it out all day. I took a light cat nap earlier in the day.

I chatted with Bhakta Max a bit today after lunch. It was so nice to talk to him.  We were discussing about our levels on surrender to Krishna. He told me that he isn't as surrendered as I was but I told him I'm sure one day he'll do the same like I have. I lived alone, worked a job that was bad karma and didn't make enough to live on my own. I didn't care to go to college for a degree because i didn't know what I wanted to do so those are some of the reasons why I was able to surrender to Krishna a bit by giving all that up. I still have to let go of my attachements to Cleveland and the devotees there. I still have to learn tolerance as well. But I'm okay pretty much with my other material desires. Those are pretty much gone. Now I have a desire to be a pujari for Krishna. But I must let go of attachement and learn tolerance first. I know Krishna will test me on those.

I had to make flower garlands this evening for Gaura Nitai as I had to wait for them to bring in flowers since there are no more marigolds outside due to the frost. I made the garlands white and yellow with a little orange in them. I was being a little picky about how I was making the garlands. I should have put the orange flowers in the middle but Nitya Mukta said it looked okay so I left it the way I made it.

After I did the deity plate transfer I went out to the temple room to get a little blissed out in the kirtan which I did. I felt a little blissed out this morning too during Mangal Aarti. Hopefully I'll get even more blissed out eventually.

24 Hour Kirtan Part 2

The ending of the 24 hour kirtan went out with a big bang. Even though I had to do service in the pujari room at the time I still heard it loud and clear. I saw how some of the devotees were dancing with ecasty which was really awesome. Everyone was totally blissed out. I wish we could have 24 hour kirtans all the time. Those are so fun. But we'll have to wait till next year for the next one.

I chatted with Bhakta Max and Konstintine after the kirtan had ended around 12 noon yesterday. Konstintine wanted some honey to take home with him so Bhakta Max got him some from the farmhouse across the street. Konstintine had to go home early yesterday. I wish he could have stayed a little longer but he may be back this weekend depending on how things work out for him. Here is a photo of me Konstintine and Max. From left to right Bhakta Max, me in the middle and Kostintine.

But that's pretty much how the day went. It was absolutely fabulous. I was exhausted by the end of the day though. I think everyone was pretty much.

24 Hour Kirtan Part 1

Wow the 24 hour kirtan had started off with a bang today. It's been going on for an hour now.

This morning I had to get myself motivated. I had a little difficulty in waking up this morning but by half way through Mangal Aarti I was fully awake and ready for it. I had to set up two Tulasi trays this morning. I did the Tulasi Aarti for the women's side. That was really nice to do for Her. I feel pretty much comfortable now with doing Aarti for Tulasi on busy weekends.

I ran into three of my Cleveland friends this morning as well. I first saw Bhakta Max, and then a nice girl about my age named Ooma not sure if I spelled her name right. And Konstintine came in later around 9am. It was so nice to see familiar faces.

Later today I have to go help out in the snack bar from 3pm till 9pm. Those aren't bad hours at all. I'm used to working those hours. But I do have to leave and come back as I told them I have to take care of Tulasi and transfer the deity plates at 7pm tonight.

Then hopefully if I can stay up I'll be able to join in the kirtan. I'm going to join it right now for an hour before lunch.I'll try to have some pictures up if I can if I can get my computer hooked up to the internet again. I'll have another blog posted 24 Hour Kirtan part 2 up soon. As for now I'm going to go paaarrrrtaaaaayyyyy. Hare Krishna!

A Little More Service And Devotee Association.

I managed to squeeze in some extra service today. I wanted a little more to do to keep me busy.

This morning they needed help in the kitchen so I helped out for about 45 minutes cutting up freshly grown beets. I asked them if they needed help in the kitchen this winter and they said I could do a few things like making bread or something. So I think I will take up on that offer. After I helped in the kitchen I went to go take care of Tulasi Devi. She was competely dry today and I gave her plenty of water to keep her moist. I also swept and mopped her floors too to keep clean. Who ever did Tulasi Aarti for me while I was gone didn't put away her Aarti items so I cleaned those and put them away and cleaned off her altar too. Then after I did that I chanted some rounds. I had five left to do after I went downstairs around 1pm. I had to clean the pujari room and get it caught up as it was a mess too but it's service and it kept me busy. I pretty much had the afternoon free until 7pm when I went back to do some more service by doing the Deity plate transfer for the prasadam, and then I did Tulasi Devi Aarti and put her to bed. The reason why I was looking for a little more service is because Maharaj suggested it so I'm following his instructions.

Also I had some new association today. A new Bhaktin came to visit. Her name is Bhaktin Angie. She is an elderly woman. I am not sure where she is from but she is in her sixties. She came to New Vrndavan before in the 1970's. She's a very nice devotee. She sat with Sudevi and I for breakfast and lunch. She is thinking about living in New Vrndavan too like Bhaktin Natalie is thinking of doing. That'd be nice if both of them will stay. The more devotees the marrier. :) And that would mean more association as well which is very much needed to stay Krishna Conciousness.So slowly but surely my homesickness is going away. I still miss my Cleveland devotee friends very much. But as Sudevi and Maharaj said, I should try to accept the devotees in New Vrndavan as my new spiritual family as Maharaj said that there are families everywhere. Cleveland devotees will always be my spiritual family no matter where I am or what I do. They have a very special place in my heart. They helped me to get to New Vrndavan after all because of their strong encouragement and love. But at least now the devotee association here in New Vrndavan is starting to improve some. :) After I came back from Cleveland Rupa Nuga the temple president even acknowledged me that I came back from my trip this morning which was nice of him to do. I knew he was happy to see me back. :D

As the Beatles would say "Its getting better all the time" :D

Bhaktimarga Swami's Visit In Cleveland

Wow last night definately renewed my spiritual batteries! I'm still floating away from seeing Maharaj. I also felt so happy seeing all of my Cleveland friends again especially Dayal.

When I got to Dayal's house last night, I was very nervous going into the house as I knew Maharaj was already there. Maharaj was talking to the devotees when I walked in but when he saw me he must have been talking about me to them and he said "this wonderful devotee that just walked in the door." Soon as he said that I was practically on the floor offering my obeisances to him. I messed up on the second half of the prayer though as I was so nervous. I gave Maharaj the flower garland from New Vrndavan. He wore it the whole time I was there. And after I offered my obeisances to him he had started talking about the Beatles. More and more i'm getting so attached to Maharaj. But anyways he was saying up in Toronto there was a Beatles convention and he was saying that we should find out what kind of Indian food that the Beatles liked. I told Maharaj that George loved pakoras but I'm not sure what kind. So I have to find out somehow and let Maharaj know. Maharaj wants to distribute prasadam at the beatles convention. And I tell you I want to go to it when he does do that. :D I'll find a way to go.

Maharaj's class was awesome too. I was all eyes and ears. When he read Prabhupada's purport in the Bhagavad Gita he did those funny gestures to where we had to repeat at his gestures he was making. It really made me giggle. I love how Maharaj makes his lectures humorous. Maharaj is just so easy to be with.He discussed on how we should all be like a brahman and how we should always be happy in Krishna Conciousness so that others may follow. He made some pretty good points.

After the lecture one of the other devotees asked me to serve Maharaj prasadam which I did. I found that Maharaj isn't much into rice so I know what to give him when he visits New Vrndavan. Before Maharaj was getting ready to go he wanted a little more to drink so I found him one quickly before he got ready to go.  I was happy to do some service for him. I did get my picture taken with Maharaj too. During prasadam though I talked to Maharaj about initiation. We are both kind of stuck on what to do about it. We were looking at maybe New Year's Day for initation. My future Godbrother Rama das said he could drive me up to Toronto for it. Paurnamasi said she would go too. But Dayal isn't sure if he could go and I'm hoping he will because I don't know how well I can handle this without him. Maharaj was also convincing him to visit Toronto too when my initation is going to happen there. From what it sounded like also Maharaj is anxious to initate me I guess too. Because they were almost going to go through with initiating me last night but they were not sure if I was going to make it or not. Maharaj also asked me how I was doing in New Vrndavan and what i was going to be doing in the winter. I told him my trip to California was cancelled so that I could come up to Toronto.

It was so wonderful to see Maharaj. I cannot wait to see him again.

Concerned for Tulasi Devi

This morning I was in complete anxiety for Tulasi. I had to be off for three days so as not to contaminate Her. So I did my best to ask around on who would like to take care of Tulasi and clean the pujari room. A new Bhaktin came in so maybe I can ask Her if she would like to help since I have to be gone for about three days.

Tulasi's room was a complete mess. Her watering can was in the shower and a few of Her Aarti items were still left out. And Her floor was a mess.:(  I could tell right away that Tulasi was not happy this morning about it so I begged forgiveness from Her about not being able to take care of her for three days. But after I cleaned up Her room she was very happy because I noticed Her leaves lifted up a little bit. So I felt better afterwards. I am beginning to tell when Tulasi is happy and when she is not. I'm always concerned for Her especially when I see Her leaves don't look as healthy as they should be. Most of the Tulasis in the room are pretty healthy although there are a few that are not doing so well which I am in great concern about. I'm doing my best to try to revive Her.

I told the authorities at the Temple that I have to leave for Cleveland tomorrow morning and I did manage to find coverage for Tulasi. so who ever volunteered to take care of Her must be there. I will be in anxiety for Tulasi while I'm out of town. I know I'll feel separation from Her as well because I'll want to know if She was properly taken care of. I want to talk to Maharaj about Tulasi and maybe he has some advice about what to do in cases like this.

But I'm happy this all worked out in going to Cleveland. At first I didn't think I was going to go due to lack of help at the temple. I have to talk to Bhaktin Natalie and see if she would like to do the Deity plate transfer in the evening and show her  a little about how to clean the pujari room. :)


But for right now my heart is staying with Tulasi out of concern for Her while I'm gone again.

Arrangements to Visit Cleveland Devotees.

Lately I have had this very deep ache in my heart wanting to visit my Cleveland devotee friends. They have helped me get through so much. I find myself missing them a lot. If it wasn't for them I wouldn't have made it this far in Krishna Conciousness. You can see how devoted to Krishna they are even though they do have material desires like everyone else. But they have helped to encourage me to surrender to Krishna even more.

Soon I will be taking in initiation. Probably not until April or May which is okay by me. I can wait. Whatever Krishna wants me to do. I'm trying realize this myself that Krishna is in control. Sometimes it's difficult to accept that but more and more I'm beginning to realize it a bit. :)Attachement is a diifficult thing for all of us here. Training myself to detach from a lot of things is not easy. But I've been good about it so far.

While I'm in Cleveland I'm going to visit my mother and grandmother and also I have to visit my Great-Aunt June who is sick in the hospital. :(

I will also take a lot of pictures at the program at Dayal's house of everyone there and hopefully record Maharaj's lecture. I wish I had more lectures of him on video. Maharaj said that he wanted to talk to me about some things. I've been very anxious to talk to him for the past two months. I guess while I'm on the bus I can think of some questions to ask him. :)

Easy Weekend

Well I guess it'll be an easy weekend for me since I can't do too much. I'll probably just read and chant and associate with Sudevi. I was also associating with Saci Creepa (not sure if I spelled her name right). The association here is getting slightly better a little bit. Sachi Creepa is training a new Bhaktin. Her name is Natalie. She is a quiet girl from Indiana. I haven't started talking to her just yet as I am still a Bhaktin myself and I wanted to let Natalie talk to someone who is more advanced in Krishna Conciousness than I am. I still have so much to work on. Attachement is one problem I have. But my material desires are slowly disappearing little by little but they are still there.

Sudevi and I made oatmeal for breakfast since I can't really eat the prasadam here because it's still a bit too spicey for me. We're planning on making lunch today probably. Not sure what though. Good thing I kept my two cookbooks so that we can make something from them. With the $50.00 a month I get here I can buy a little groceries with. I'm going to try to get the job at the palace lodge this April and then I can start to save up a little bit for things like that and also trips to Toronto to visit my guru Maharaj Bhaktimarga Swami.

The Deities today are wearing blue and silver. One of my favorite colors. I haven't seen Them wear that color in a while. They use the same outfits quite a bit at this temple. And sometimes the same color a lot. I think they use a little bit too much pink. I'm waiting to see some more purple and blue and maybe green too.  :) The other day they wore purple and blue which was very pretty. I sometimes like to wear the same color the Deities are wearing too. Sometimes I even guess it right with the sari I'm wearing lol. Lord Nrsimhadeva looked so beautiful today. His face is all decorated with silver jewelry. And he has a small sword in his lap. I love to see Lord Nrsimahadeva loaded with His weapons on Him because He's letting demons know He's not playing around when it comes to protecting His devotees. :D

That's all I have for today. I may write another blog if I have something else interesting to post. Hare Krishna.

Added A New Service

Today Sudevi and I were talking to this one devotee that takes care of the cows. He said that he could use our help to take care of them by brushing and feeding them. I think he does the milking part. I'm a bit afraid to do the milking part as I don't want one of them to kick me and then get hurt because I don't have the health right insurance if I should have to go to the doctor so I have to be careful. But I like the idea of brushing them though. I always liked doing that with the horses too that I've seen in my life time. At least this giving me a chance to work with live animals since at one time I did want to work with animals in a shelter. Sometimes I still wish I could take care of the cats and dogs but I think taking care of Krishna's cows is more pure lol. Cows are cute too.

I also made Lord Nrsimhadeva's flower garland and Prahlad Maharaj's too. I wanted to make Govardhan's flower garland too but I was unable to this morning because i have to be off for three days. Sometimes it's a bummer being a woman. Ladies I think you can take a hint at what I mean by this. ;)

So I couldn't do much today as a result but I did do my chanting. But I felt exhausted at 3pm today and had to take rest. After I woke up I finished chanting my rounds and now I'm going to read a bit before going to bed. I look foward to taking care of the cow tomorrow.

Still Adjusting to Temple Life

I just feel unusually quiet today. Probably because I've been doing a lot of thinking.

I kept myself pretty busy with Tulasi Devi this morning. I had to move Her around to get the best light in Her room upstairs and I'm hoping that will help her. I gave Her water and swept and mopped the floor. Tomorrow I have to clean out the mini closets She has in Her room because they are a mess. I save a little bit for each day. I also finished chanting my rounds in Tulasi's room too and even during Japa this morning I was in Her room too. Maybe I need to spend more time with Tulasi since I don't really associate much with the other devotees here except Sudevi.

Yesterday I had a problem eating Prasadam as it was way too spicey for me to eat it. I had a very very light lunch as a result. Today is pasta day though and that I can load up on at least. This morning I had pancakes and fruit from the Maha prasadam. Thank you Krishna for that mercy this morning.

I have also been thinking a lot about my spiritual master Bhaktimarga Swami. I've been emailing him a lot these days even more so now that my initiation day is coming VERY close. Maharaj is so kind. I loved everything he's said in the emails he's written to me. I saved those emails in a seperate folder so as to save them in what ever advice he gave me. That way I can look back and refer to it if I got stuck on the same thing again. Dayal has even said that Maharaj does ask about me when he calls him. I was very very touched by that. I know I can always rely on Maharaj and Dayal when ever I am in need of something. I cannot wait to see Maharaj soon. Just by reading his emails has gotten me even more attached to him.

Im still trying to learn a few more prayers in the temple too. Learning a new language is difficult for me. I still haven't mastered Tulasi's prayer or the Worship of Sri Guru yet. I'm so slow at learning new things. And there are a lot of rules and regulations too at the temple that I"m still trying to get used to. Some are easy to remember others aren't.

But I am happy here in the temple. Most days are great and a few aren't It all depends on what I'm feeling. I still get a little homesick being away from the Cleveland devotees. :( Although I cannot go back to where I used to live because it was too hard to survive on my own.

A late start today

It was a late start for me today. I didn't get up until 4am because I came back at 8:30pm and was very exhausted from Ratha Yatra. I went to bed a little after 9pm.

Mondays are easy days for me at the temple although this morning I was pretty busy. I was able to squeeze in three rounds in before Mangal Aarti. Then at 5:45am I went to take care of Tulasi to pick Her leaves and give Her a bath. I was able to put in 8 rounds before the Deity Greeting. I still have 8 more rounds to finish this afternoon. So I can do that while I do my laundry. I also cleaned Tulasi's room upstairs and watered Her as well and then I had to go pick some flowers to make Prahlad Maharaj's and Lord Nrsimhadeva's garland. I was finished with my service around 12:30pm. So I have the afternoon free to finish my rounds and read Srila Prabhupada's books. Dayal had also kept insisting that i read Prabhupada's books so I will continue  to do that this afternoon.

I had a nice lunch this afternoon. I always sit with Sudevi. Malakini was also there.  For lunch we had rice and dahl some kind of subji that i didn't eat because of the spices and there was salad. So I just had rice and dahl and salad. Wednesday is pasta day here in New Vrndavan that's when I load up my plate with prasadam lol!

This evening I have to transfer the Deity plates so that the devotees can have Maha Prasadam at 7pm and then at 7:35 I do Aarti for Tulasi and read Her the Krishna book and put Her to bed. :)

So that's pretty much my schedule for today. Hare Krishna.

Columbus Ohio Ratha Yatra Oct. 10th 2010

Yesterday I went to Columbus Ohio for another annual Ratha Yatra. There were a lot of people there. I handed out books and prasadam. It was something that Srila Prabhupada wanted devotees to do. I ran out of book and prasadam very quickly. But at least the people got benefit out of it.


Two of my Cleveland devotee friends Konstintine and Akilananda das were there. I got my picture taken with them before we left. Before we headed home we made a stop at the Columbus Ohio Hare Krishna Temple. It was very beautiful. It was actually in a large house. Their Deities were very pretty. I took pictures of Them as well. Their Tulasi is also really big. They had two of them on their altar.

I also called Dayal on the phone and talked to him. I told him that I missed his association at Ratha Yatra. I also prayed to Lord Jaggahnath for Dayal too since he was unable to come. But I know I'll get to see him again soon.

Temple Life

On August 4th,2010 I had moved to the Hare Krishna Temple called New Vrndavan in Moundsville West Virginia. It is a very beautiful place far into the country. You don't hear sirens going off or cars speeding by in the day or night. City life is completely cut off where I live. I don't know how it happened I guess I just fell in love with the area and the temple itself.


Living in the temple is definately a higher standard of living than what I was used to. Meaning you have to follow certain rules in the temple. For starters one has to get up for Mangal Aarti in the morning which starts at 5am so I normally get up at 3:15am to get ready and chant at least 9 rounds before it starts. Then after Mangal Aarti is Lord Nrsimhadeva Prayers and then Tulasi Devi Prayers. Then at 5:45am we chant the Hare Krishna Mantra (japa) on our beads until 7:30am which is the Deity Greeting. I normally finish most of my rounds by then. I also take care of Tulasi Devi at 5:45am to pick Her leaves to be offered to Krishna, and then give Her a bath.Tulasi is a sacred plant that I take care of.

Then at 7:30am we have the Deity Greeting and the worship of Sri Guru for Srila Prabhupada who is the founder of the Hare Krishna Movement in the western world. We have a nice Kirtan for Krishna (God) after that and then we have the Srimad Bhagavatam class. 9am is breakfast and then we all perform our devotional service for Krishna through out the day.

My service is taking care of Tulasi by cleaning Her room upstairs and then peforming Aarti for Her at night when I put Her to bed and read her a story from the Krishna Book. I also chant to Tulasi also as She likes that very much. Thursday through Sunday I clean the Pujari Room or the Lord's room. I also organize the Lord's jewelry in the dressing room so it looks nice. Fridays I clean the women's ashram by cleaning the hallway and bathroom including my own room.

I've learned a lot about Vaisnaiva Equeitte. Most of it is common sense but there is a lot to learn about being a Vaisnaiva. But it teaches us how we can be pure and respectful to others to keep the peace.

Sudevi is a close friend and Prabhupada disciple. She's been teaching me a lot. I try to follow her examples the best I can.

So far I love temple life although I am still trying to adjust a little bit after living here for two months. I miss my Cleveland devotees friends very much. Dayal Nitai has been so helpful and encouraging to me for my spiritual life. He still continues to watch over me. Knowing he's doing that I feel protected. he's an older brother to me I never had since I'm an only child.  I hope to visit him again very soon.