Remembering George Harrison November 29th 2001

Today was a difficult day for me and for all George fans around the world. Today was the day that George had passed away on. I felt like it was the longest day of my life but I'm glad today is over with.

I woke up this morning not feeling too well. I actually did not want to face this day but I knew I had to. I chanted my rounds and did some service to try to get my mind off of it.  After lunch I stayed in my room most of the day. I was suprised that hardly anyone was really online at the georgeharrison.com message board. Some members were there made one or two posts and then left. It seems like they only come around on this day and that's it for the rest of the year. Its kind of sad. I try to post there when I think of something to post worthwhile.

But anyways, at 3:30pm this afternoon I chanted the last of my rounds, then at 4pm I read George's favorite Bhagavad Gita verse Ch. 2 Text 12. I even read the sankskrit part. I wasn't sure if I pronounced any of the words right though. Then after that I read from the Krishna Book to him too. I read about Mother Yasoda binding Lord Krishna since George like that photo I think or liked photos of Lord Krishna and Mother Yasoda together which is why I read that story to him. Then at 4:25 I put on two more garlands around George's picture. His picture actually look very pretty with all the flowers around him. I gave him Radha and Krishna's garland, Lord Nrsimadeva's garland and also Lord Chaitanya's garland to him including Tulasi's flowers that were offered and even one of Srila Prabhupada's offered flowers. here is a picture of what it looks like. Click on the link below to view
http://i837.photobucket.com/albums/zz297/simplycloudnine/DSCN1715.jpg

I broke down in tears at 4:30pm and I played My Sweet Lord on my CD player. I quietly said a little prayer for George but I felt like I was just talking to him. I said this to him...

"Thank you for bringing me to Krishna. I wouldn't be at this temple if it wasn't for you.
Please don't come back to this world it is a terrible place. I know that you are in the spiritual world somewhere. I love you always George. You'll always have a special place in my heart. "

After that I had offered my obeisances to him. Since he is a devotee, normally all devotees offer obeisances to each other. Mother Sudevi who is a senior Prabhupada disciple even offered her obeisances to George too which I was suprised to see.

But now i feel a bit better since this day is just about over. I hope George liked what i did for him today. I don't know how many other fans out there have done the same thing like I did but I just felt I had to do it for him since he was so deeply into Krishna Conciousness. he brought me to Krishna and I'm about to be initiated soon as well. God Bless George.

Getting Close To the Day

Its been awhile since my last post. I had to get my computer fixed to use the internet again.
Things have been tough lately at the temple. Everyone seems to be uptight but then again we are short handed on help and perhaps that is why.

This morning things didn't go so well. I got chatised again about the wash clothes in the pujari room by this same pujari who keeps on nip picking at me everyday about something. I'm trying my best to tolerate it but it's very very difficult. I do take things a bit too personally but that's just how I am with that. I have been bullied by kids in school, nip picked the same way at my last job, and went through verbal abuse with my parents, so it's hard for me NOT to take things so personal. I don't know if I'll ever get over that stage yet. I emailed my spiritual master Bhaktimarga Swami about it and asked him what I should do.  I had promised him I'd follow his instructions the best I can. In the Bhagavatam Class today the speaker explained that the spiritual master is pretty much nondifferent from Krishna since the spiritual master is giving instruction on how to come home to Krishna just like Krishna instructed Arjuna. So I'm trying to follow that the best I can.

In two days is the day that George Harrison left this material world. That day will be hard for all of us George fans. For me it still hurts, and I'm trying so hard not to lament about it. Hopefully being in the temple will help chase the sadness away. The other day I had felt George's presence. He's still very much around. But I still cringe about that day whenever someone says Nov. 29th. I set up my small tribute for George last night. I put a purple cloth underneath George's picture. It's in a white frame. I also put a flower garland around his picture as well. I'm going to try to do extra service or chant more if I can on that day. It all depends on how I'm feeling. I'll always remember George for how he had changed my life around.

Purification and Tolerance, and Humbleness

Well it's been a tough week but somehow I managed to pull through it. I had been having severe emotional problems. Most of it was due to homesickness. I have to call Dayal more often to talk to him.I talked to him on Friday on the way back from going into town. I caught him while he was driving to go to practice with his band that night.He told me that he'd send me some Prabhupada lectures to listen to everyday to help me overcome these emotional problems. I also read Prabhupada's books everyday when i can too to help.

The emotional feelings I'd had been having though it just felt like I had everyone gang up on me on the service that i have been doing. That's when I felt like I was doing everything wrong and not the way they wanted it done. But lately now they leave me alone. So I have been feeling a lot better. Although when I had those emotional feelings I came close to moving back to Cleveland. but I want to talk with Maharaj about this too and see what he says in what I should do if I feel like I am not going to make it in New Vrndavan. But so far I'm okay with it now.

Yesterday too I ran into an incident as well. This tall indian gentleman was talking so harshly to Rupa Nuga about some problem he saw go on outside the temple. I was just sitting waiting patiently for the gentleman to finish talking to him, and after he was finished this gentleman wrongly accused me of looking at him the wrong way like he was a kid or something. He asked me how old I was and then rudely said that he was more than twice my age and demanded respect from me. Then he cursed me by saying Krishna would not let me stay at the temple or He'd punish me in some way for an offense I had no clue that I committed. This gentleman acted as if it was a great sin I committed. So I simply said to him, Please excuse my offense I did not know I committed an offense. The gentleman just looked at me sternly then walked away. So I didn't let this bother me. I did my best to try to be humble and I'm sure Krishna saw that I at least tried.

Diwali and Govardana Puja

Today is Diwali. It is considered a New Year in Krishna Conciousness. And tomorrow is Govardana Hill Puja when Krishna lifted this hill with just His pink finger at age 7 years old. Both stories behind these auspicious days are very interesting to me. I love the Diwali one as it was about Lord Rama returning home from exile. I don't know why I have such an attraction to Lord Rama. I love His pasttimes about how He rescued Sita, and how he destroyed Ravana with His bow and arrows. The story is just fascinating. Govardana Hill story reminds me of Noah's Ark from the Christian Bible. Krishna protected the residents of Vrndavana from the heavy rains for 7 days and 7 nights. Only difference is that Noah used an ark and stayed in it for 40 days and 40 nights. But the stories are still so similar.Here is a link to read more about Diwali and Govardana Hill.

Diwali/Govardana Puja

We have no set schedule today for Diwali but we do have a schedule for tomorrow I think. Varasana Swami is going to give a lecture tomorrow evening not sure what time unless he's doing one for tonight.

There are only a couple guests today. I had a hard time waking up this morning as my stomach was  a bit upset but I'm better now. I still have four rounds to chant. I cleaned up the pujari room and took care of Tulasi. I still have to clean the women's ashram, make garlands, and if I have time organize the Lord's jewerly this afternoon. I think I'm going to save some service for the afternoon to keep me a little busy.  :) I also have the Deity plate transfer tonight at 7pm and also Tulasi puja.

It's a rainy day today in New Vrndavan but what made me smile was seeing the cute peacocks outside. I love their eyes and they have such pretty colors. We have brown and white peacocks. Yesterday there were a bunch of them right outside the temple door peeking in. It was very cute. They had four babies with them too. Animals are my weakness. I love them. I've always loved animals since I was little. Mainly because my mother does too so it kind of stuck onto me with that.

I called my friend Dayal yesterday. It was so good to talk to him. I had sent him a letter with a couple pictures in it. Bhakta Max is still here in New Vrndavan. He is considering on staying permanantely but not right at the moment. It'd be nice if he does stay here permanantly.

Well gotta get ready for the festival.I'll try to have more later.

Hare Krishna

Peaceful Monday

Today was very peaceful and much more relaxing. I sort of woke up a bit late around 4am. I try to get up earlier than that to chant my rounds. But after a busy weekend I was too exhausted to get up at 3am.

We had a small Bhagavatam class this morning. We're still reading about Krishna lifting Govardana Hill since we have Govardana Hill Puja this weekend. The prasadam this morning was great but at lunch I couldn't really eat it as it was too spicey and salty. But the association was good today. I sat with Sudevi, Bhaktin Angie and Siki Mahiti devi dasi this morning and afternoon. Mandakini was there too but only for a short time as she had to go to work.

My spirits have been lifted up a bit today too. Maybe it was the sugar in the prasadam lol. Mother Sudevi was very tired today though. I hope she got some rest when she got home before she started doing chores around her apartment. I still felt a bit tired myself but managed to stick it out all day. I took a light cat nap earlier in the day.

I chatted with Bhakta Max a bit today after lunch. It was so nice to talk to him.  We were discussing about our levels on surrender to Krishna. He told me that he isn't as surrendered as I was but I told him I'm sure one day he'll do the same like I have. I lived alone, worked a job that was bad karma and didn't make enough to live on my own. I didn't care to go to college for a degree because i didn't know what I wanted to do so those are some of the reasons why I was able to surrender to Krishna a bit by giving all that up. I still have to let go of my attachements to Cleveland and the devotees there. I still have to learn tolerance as well. But I'm okay pretty much with my other material desires. Those are pretty much gone. Now I have a desire to be a pujari for Krishna. But I must let go of attachement and learn tolerance first. I know Krishna will test me on those.

I had to make flower garlands this evening for Gaura Nitai as I had to wait for them to bring in flowers since there are no more marigolds outside due to the frost. I made the garlands white and yellow with a little orange in them. I was being a little picky about how I was making the garlands. I should have put the orange flowers in the middle but Nitya Mukta said it looked okay so I left it the way I made it.

After I did the deity plate transfer I went out to the temple room to get a little blissed out in the kirtan which I did. I felt a little blissed out this morning too during Mangal Aarti. Hopefully I'll get even more blissed out eventually.

24 Hour Kirtan Part 2

The ending of the 24 hour kirtan went out with a big bang. Even though I had to do service in the pujari room at the time I still heard it loud and clear. I saw how some of the devotees were dancing with ecasty which was really awesome. Everyone was totally blissed out. I wish we could have 24 hour kirtans all the time. Those are so fun. But we'll have to wait till next year for the next one.

I chatted with Bhakta Max and Konstintine after the kirtan had ended around 12 noon yesterday. Konstintine wanted some honey to take home with him so Bhakta Max got him some from the farmhouse across the street. Konstintine had to go home early yesterday. I wish he could have stayed a little longer but he may be back this weekend depending on how things work out for him. Here is a photo of me Konstintine and Max. From left to right Bhakta Max, me in the middle and Kostintine.

But that's pretty much how the day went. It was absolutely fabulous. I was exhausted by the end of the day though. I think everyone was pretty much.