Today was even more enjoyable. I was running a bit late today though for Raj Bhoga Aarti at 12 noon. I didn't have my japa beads with me and I felt strange without them. Some people say they feel "naked" without their wedding rings. Well I feel that way about not having my japa beads with me because for one my guru Maharaj chanted on my beads and two I feel better having my beads with me to chant with.
I tuned into mayapur.tv later in the afternoon. This time I did see Maharaj. My face lit up seeing him again. I just love watching him dance. He does what you call "swami dance steps." He has his own dance moves and its very unique. I haven't seen any other swami dance like he has. Then during the announcements they said my guru Maharaj will lead Tulasi kirtan tomorrow morning! Im definately going to tune in tomorrow for that one! I need to hear his voice again! Im so excited. I love my guru Maharaj's kirtans.
Then I got a knock on my door at 4pm. It was my friend Bhaktin Kindle. She wanted to see my friend Bhaktin Su. So the three of us ended up talking for two hours straight about a variety of subjects. Chaturika handed us some bead bags from mother Padyavali who is a Prabhupada disciple. I noticed one of the bead bags had Tulasi on it and of course that was the one I chose to have. So now I have two Tulasi bead bags. the new one I have of Tulasi is blue and my other one is a maroon colored one. Maybe I should try to find other bead bags with Tulasi on it with different colors like yellow or purple or orange etc. :)
Anyways the three of us sat in the kitchen in the ladies ashram. Bhaktin Su made us some caffeine free hot rose tea. It was pretty good. We discussed what our childhoods were like, we discussed about the different kinds of religions out in the world, we talked a bit about Tulasi Devi, we talked about the gurus in our movement, and also about animals, the different kind of life style we like to live either in the city or country. So it was like getting to know each other and there seems to be a bond there. We all agreed to spend more time together. I feel we will be close friends. I never had friends in high school and now Krishna is being kind with me and allowing me to have friends with His devotees especially since I am new here in New Dwaraka. He knew I had a fear of being in a new place and He has very kindly made that fear vanish. The only problem I am having now is dealing with severe separation from my guru Maharaj, but even that is getting a little better.
We decide that we might make special time to associate over caffeine free tea. We are allowed tea but it must be caffeine free. I also told them that i can teach them how to take care of Tulasi and that I will give them a few seeds that I have brought in with me.Friday Bhaktin Su and i will do a little shopping to prepare for Tulasi's appearance. I also plan on teaching them how to do Tulasi Aarti as well so that will be properly trained on how to truly care for Tulasi Devi who is very dear to Lord Krishna.
Monday, February 20, 2012
Sunday, February 19, 2012
Sunday 2-19-2012 New Dwaraka Los Angeles California
Another short day again. I woke up at 2:30am this time. This morning i had to make small Gaura Nitai flower garlands and small Lord Jagannatha garlands. Those took me an hour to do. Then I spent an hour and a half in the kitchen today. It was easy cut up. I only cut up 2 buckets of zukini, one bucket of tomatoes and one bucket of cauliflower. I was going to cut two buckets of broccoli today but we didn't have any so I may have to do them tomorrow.
I was finished the same time as yesterday 11am. When I got back to my room I took a quick shower and then ate some of the potato salad since we don't have lunch on Sundays. I got dressed and hurried over to the temple for the 12 noon Aarti. I chanted 20 rounds today. I seem to be pretty much stuck on chanting 20 rounds now. I emailed my guru Maharaj about it so I am curious as to what he will say about it. I had also sent him two emails this morning but they are answers from his Bhagavad Gita course that I am currently taking. I am now on Chapter 5. I plan on trying to work on some of it later.
Anyways the 12 noon Aarti today was a bit crowded because it's Sunday. But it was still peaceful. I sat in the front so that I can see Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarkadish. As I was chanting I could almost feel Krishna looking down at me. Sometimes I get those feels where you feel it's just you and Krishna alone but there were other people there so I knew Lord Krishna was looking at everyone. But looking into Lord Krishna's Lotus Eyes left me stunned. The beauty of His Lotus Petal Eyes, you can tell there is much love in His Eyes. He wants all of us to return to Him. He takes special care of His devotees who serve Him with pure love and devotion. I believe that is what I am feeling from Lord Krishna whenever I take darshan of Him in the temple room. I can feel His love through His Lotus Petal Eyes, and beautiful smile.
This afternoon I watched mayapur.tv. I did not see my guru Maharaj on there today. :( I was a little disappointed. Maybe I'll see him tomorrow on the webcam. He led an awesome Tulasi puja kirtan yestrday! I felt so happy to hear his voice again. Also after the 12 noon aarti I felt so tired that I fell asleep. My back was in pain all day today. It just felt sore for some strange reason. Mainly in my lower back. It felt like something was pressing down really hard on my lower back causing a sore feeling. I have to get a state id and proof of address to go to the doctor for my back. :( Im so tired of being in pain with my back nearly everyday. I can't even go on long walks with my guru Maharaj and others due to my back hurting me after so long. Sitting on the floor is also hard on my back. I did that a lot today but I tried sitting up against the wall to help support my back that at least helps some.
As for now I am currently doing my laundry. I just cleaned my room, and now I am relaxing my back. I may go to bed early today not sure. Depends on how I feel.
I was finished the same time as yesterday 11am. When I got back to my room I took a quick shower and then ate some of the potato salad since we don't have lunch on Sundays. I got dressed and hurried over to the temple for the 12 noon Aarti. I chanted 20 rounds today. I seem to be pretty much stuck on chanting 20 rounds now. I emailed my guru Maharaj about it so I am curious as to what he will say about it. I had also sent him two emails this morning but they are answers from his Bhagavad Gita course that I am currently taking. I am now on Chapter 5. I plan on trying to work on some of it later.
Anyways the 12 noon Aarti today was a bit crowded because it's Sunday. But it was still peaceful. I sat in the front so that I can see Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarkadish. As I was chanting I could almost feel Krishna looking down at me. Sometimes I get those feels where you feel it's just you and Krishna alone but there were other people there so I knew Lord Krishna was looking at everyone. But looking into Lord Krishna's Lotus Eyes left me stunned. The beauty of His Lotus Petal Eyes, you can tell there is much love in His Eyes. He wants all of us to return to Him. He takes special care of His devotees who serve Him with pure love and devotion. I believe that is what I am feeling from Lord Krishna whenever I take darshan of Him in the temple room. I can feel His love through His Lotus Petal Eyes, and beautiful smile.
This afternoon I watched mayapur.tv. I did not see my guru Maharaj on there today. :( I was a little disappointed. Maybe I'll see him tomorrow on the webcam. He led an awesome Tulasi puja kirtan yestrday! I felt so happy to hear his voice again. Also after the 12 noon aarti I felt so tired that I fell asleep. My back was in pain all day today. It just felt sore for some strange reason. Mainly in my lower back. It felt like something was pressing down really hard on my lower back causing a sore feeling. I have to get a state id and proof of address to go to the doctor for my back. :( Im so tired of being in pain with my back nearly everyday. I can't even go on long walks with my guru Maharaj and others due to my back hurting me after so long. Sitting on the floor is also hard on my back. I did that a lot today but I tried sitting up against the wall to help support my back that at least helps some.
As for now I am currently doing my laundry. I just cleaned my room, and now I am relaxing my back. I may go to bed early today not sure. Depends on how I feel.
Saturday, February 18, 2012
Bhoga Aarti: 2-18-2012 New Dwaraka Los Angeles California
Today I found myself at Bhoga Aarti. it was a very short day of service. I spent an hour in the pujari room making flower garlands for the small Lord Jagganatha Deities. Then I only spent and hour and a half in the kitchen today. I only had to cut up two buckets of Cauliflower and one bucket of red bell peppers. I was finished by 11am. So when I got back to my room I took a quick shower and got dressed. I thought to myself "Since I am finished in the kitchen early today, I want to attend the 12 noon Aarti." I was wanting to see Krishna yet again. I was feeling tired though however before the Aarti but I fought with my mind and said "NO, I MUST see Lord Krishna right now wait till later to take a nap." So my mind had lost that battle with wanting to take a nap.
I chanted three extra rounds during the Bhoga Aarti. I offered my obeisances to the Deities when the doors opened. And there They all were, looking beautiful as always. My eyes were glued to Lord Krishna however. I couldn't stop looking at Him. I took pictures this morning but I forgot to put my memory card back in my camera so I have to retake the photos later this afternoon at the 4:30pm Aarti. But anyways I wanted some quiet time with the Deities. It's very peaceful at the 12 noon Aarti and was able to focuse more on Lord Krishna.
Also again I was in a hurry to see Lord Krishna at Mangal Aarti this morning. Last night I was disappointed as I missed out on seeing the Deities after I got back from harinam. We came back a minute too late. So I had to be patient and wait for Mangal Aarti again. I was in the temple five minutes before 4am again.I had finished half of my rounds before Mangal Aarti and was finished with the other half around 6:10am. Then I turned on my computer and listened to one of Srila Prabhupada's lectures and took notes from it.
So today has beenn very spiritual and peaceful for me. I am not sure if I will go to harinam tonight as I am feeling a bit tired from last night. I went to bed at 9:30pm a half an hour later than I normally do. I might just spend some quiet time with the Deities this evening. This afternoon though Im going to tune in to www.mayapur.tv and watch and listen to my guru Maharaj lead Tulasi puja kirtan! I cannot wait to hear him!
I chanted three extra rounds during the Bhoga Aarti. I offered my obeisances to the Deities when the doors opened. And there They all were, looking beautiful as always. My eyes were glued to Lord Krishna however. I couldn't stop looking at Him. I took pictures this morning but I forgot to put my memory card back in my camera so I have to retake the photos later this afternoon at the 4:30pm Aarti. But anyways I wanted some quiet time with the Deities. It's very peaceful at the 12 noon Aarti and was able to focuse more on Lord Krishna.
Also again I was in a hurry to see Lord Krishna at Mangal Aarti this morning. Last night I was disappointed as I missed out on seeing the Deities after I got back from harinam. We came back a minute too late. So I had to be patient and wait for Mangal Aarti again. I was in the temple five minutes before 4am again.I had finished half of my rounds before Mangal Aarti and was finished with the other half around 6:10am. Then I turned on my computer and listened to one of Srila Prabhupada's lectures and took notes from it.
So today has beenn very spiritual and peaceful for me. I am not sure if I will go to harinam tonight as I am feeling a bit tired from last night. I went to bed at 9:30pm a half an hour later than I normally do. I might just spend some quiet time with the Deities this evening. This afternoon though Im going to tune in to www.mayapur.tv and watch and listen to my guru Maharaj lead Tulasi puja kirtan! I cannot wait to hear him!
Friday, February 17, 2012
An Act of Humility Santa Monica Harinam 2-17-2012 Los Angeles
I had a great evening with the Santa Monica harinam. Since this morning I had been feeling much inspiration. I was in the temple early, eager to see Krishna. Then later throughout the day I found that I couldn't stop thinking of Krishna and my guru Maharaj at the same time. So I did feel somewhat of a strong connection between Krishna and my guru Maharaj, which helped to ease the pain of separation from both of Them.
Anyway before I left for the harinam, I hurried into the temple to see Krishna. I needed to see Him. He was looking so beautiful standing there with his beautiful flute decorated with flowers all over Him. Srimate Radharani was gorgeous too. There have been times where I felt a bit choked up when I took darshan of Radha and Krishna. My guru Maharaj told me if I have these exepriences with the Deities to always cherish it because they are supposed to be good feelings and that means my heart is changing. I know my heart is still hard hearted because I had not cried while I was chanting Krishna's Holy Names. Srila Prabhupada said that if we do not feel tears of ecstasy in our eyes then it is to be understood we are still hard hearted. We need to be soft hearted for Krishna to really love and understand Him.
The first half of the harinam, I wanted to chant and I did try to do little dance steps but I am still not good with it yet. But I chanted Krishna's Holy Name loudly. A wave of happiness flowed through me this evening while chanting. Chanting Krishna's Holy Name can make you happy if you chant His name sincerely with love. Some of our devotees danced in totall ecstasy. Bhakta Josh was totally blissed out and was dancing wildly during the whole harinam. I wish I had his energy to dance like that for Krishna.
During the second half of the harinam, I made an attempt at book distribution. No one seemed to stop tonight to ask for a book or take a yellow card. I tried my best for Krishna. I was thinking of Him while trying to distribute books. I am trying desperately to please Him but I don't know if He is pleased with my attempts. Toward the end though I found myself speaking with this one gentleman. He was a nice guy. He said he liked our music. But he is a full fledged Christian a firm believer in Jesus. My guru Maharaj had run into a man just recently before he left for India that this man he ran into was screaming about Lord Jesus. We we often meet people like this. But anyways I happened to come across this man but he was more gentle than the one my guru Maharaj ran into. He was asking me some questions and then he gave his small lecture on Jesus. I listened politely. Toward the end of our discussion, I apologized to the gentleman and asked for forgiveness if I had offended him in anyway. As a Vaisnava we are taught to show all humility to others and show others respect, even if they do not believe in Krishna. This gentleman said to me "You have not offended me at all you showed all humility and I thank you for that." So I am happy I left him with a good impression. I offered this result unto Lord Krishna in hopes that I had pleased Him.
So this is teaching me humility with book distribution. Tolerance I still have to work on though just a bit more. It will come in time with practice.
I was also praying to Lord Krishna tonight though after I got back that I asked for His protection because I still have a fear of people trying to take me away from Krishna. I don't want to leave Lord Krishna ever. I don't care who tries to make me leave Krishna whether it be family or complete strangers. Lord Krishna has given me so many realizations and He is revealing Himself little by little. I want love Him with more love and devotion. I know He will give me tests in the future of how much I truly love Him and how much more I will surrender unto Him. But I am still begging Him for His protection so that I may never leave Him. So this realization tonight after that talk with this gentleman, made me have even more faith in Krishna and makes me even more desperate to see Krishna tomorrow morning during Mangal Aarti. I am so scared of a falldown in Krishna Conciousness. Maybe I should ask Maharaj for some help about it in what I can do to ease that fear of others trying to persuade me to leave the Krishna Conciousness Movement. As far as I know Im locked in with Krishna Conciousness for the rest of my life! And I am quite content with it.
Anyway before I left for the harinam, I hurried into the temple to see Krishna. I needed to see Him. He was looking so beautiful standing there with his beautiful flute decorated with flowers all over Him. Srimate Radharani was gorgeous too. There have been times where I felt a bit choked up when I took darshan of Radha and Krishna. My guru Maharaj told me if I have these exepriences with the Deities to always cherish it because they are supposed to be good feelings and that means my heart is changing. I know my heart is still hard hearted because I had not cried while I was chanting Krishna's Holy Names. Srila Prabhupada said that if we do not feel tears of ecstasy in our eyes then it is to be understood we are still hard hearted. We need to be soft hearted for Krishna to really love and understand Him.
The first half of the harinam, I wanted to chant and I did try to do little dance steps but I am still not good with it yet. But I chanted Krishna's Holy Name loudly. A wave of happiness flowed through me this evening while chanting. Chanting Krishna's Holy Name can make you happy if you chant His name sincerely with love. Some of our devotees danced in totall ecstasy. Bhakta Josh was totally blissed out and was dancing wildly during the whole harinam. I wish I had his energy to dance like that for Krishna.
During the second half of the harinam, I made an attempt at book distribution. No one seemed to stop tonight to ask for a book or take a yellow card. I tried my best for Krishna. I was thinking of Him while trying to distribute books. I am trying desperately to please Him but I don't know if He is pleased with my attempts. Toward the end though I found myself speaking with this one gentleman. He was a nice guy. He said he liked our music. But he is a full fledged Christian a firm believer in Jesus. My guru Maharaj had run into a man just recently before he left for India that this man he ran into was screaming about Lord Jesus. We we often meet people like this. But anyways I happened to come across this man but he was more gentle than the one my guru Maharaj ran into. He was asking me some questions and then he gave his small lecture on Jesus. I listened politely. Toward the end of our discussion, I apologized to the gentleman and asked for forgiveness if I had offended him in anyway. As a Vaisnava we are taught to show all humility to others and show others respect, even if they do not believe in Krishna. This gentleman said to me "You have not offended me at all you showed all humility and I thank you for that." So I am happy I left him with a good impression. I offered this result unto Lord Krishna in hopes that I had pleased Him.
So this is teaching me humility with book distribution. Tolerance I still have to work on though just a bit more. It will come in time with practice.
I was also praying to Lord Krishna tonight though after I got back that I asked for His protection because I still have a fear of people trying to take me away from Krishna. I don't want to leave Lord Krishna ever. I don't care who tries to make me leave Krishna whether it be family or complete strangers. Lord Krishna has given me so many realizations and He is revealing Himself little by little. I want love Him with more love and devotion. I know He will give me tests in the future of how much I truly love Him and how much more I will surrender unto Him. But I am still begging Him for His protection so that I may never leave Him. So this realization tonight after that talk with this gentleman, made me have even more faith in Krishna and makes me even more desperate to see Krishna tomorrow morning during Mangal Aarti. I am so scared of a falldown in Krishna Conciousness. Maybe I should ask Maharaj for some help about it in what I can do to ease that fear of others trying to persuade me to leave the Krishna Conciousness Movement. As far as I know Im locked in with Krishna Conciousness for the rest of my life! And I am quite content with it.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)