Lately I've been feeling more and more obligated to my guru Maharaj. At times I could almost even "hear" his voice not only in my head but more importantly in my heart. Last night I felt kind of bad because I didn't go to the harinam,but I was so tired from the ArtWalk Harinam that I had to go to bed early. We arrived late the other night at 10pm, and I was exhausted. So I felt that my guru Maharaj would want me to rest the next day after a late night like that so I took it to heart with it.
Today however I feel more rested so there is another harinam tonight in Hollywood which I will go to as I know it would please my guru Maharaj and I can "hear" him say "You should go out on harinam". If anything interesting happens Im sure he would love to hear about it so I will email him if anything interesting comes up.
Maharaj would often encourage us in Toronto to go out more. Here it's a bit easier due to regular programs they have here harinams every week, programs every week, and Bhagavad Gita classes every night except for Tuesday night as they have a maha mantra kirtans.
Hopefully I can talk with the temple president about book distribution. It's mostly the men who go out on book distribution daily here I never hear or see any women doing it. My guru Maharaj says I don't have to worry so much about book distribution and to focus more on assisting devotees, but he also said if I can do more service then go for it, and book distribution is one of them. They have a Vaisnavi program for women here but it doesn't involve book distribution, and I can never go to it anyway because it's in the morning when I have service to do in the kitchen.
Friday Feb. 4th there will be a sankirtan seminar class at 10am. I might ask the prabhus in charge of the kitchen if I can go to it and then later on that day there is a group book distribution at 1pm which I plan to attend if Krishna will let me.
All these things keep popping up in my head and that is why Im feeling so much more obligated to my guru Maharaj in wanting to keep on pleasing him and Srila Prabhupada. Srila Prabhupada said that if we really want to please him distribute books. Also I feel like I'm still stuck on the same spiritual platform and Srila Prabhupada said that is not good because one could falldown. So I am trying to push myself just a little bit more with service. Getting out is one major step for me which is why I tell myself to go to harinams just to get out and get used to being around alot of people.
There is also a qoute that I read by Srila Prabhupada. I still have a hard time dealing with this qoute though and understanding it. Srila Prabhupada says "If we feel separation from Krishna and the spiritaul master then we should just try to remember their words of instructions, and then we will no longer feel separation. Such association with Krishna and the spiritual master should be by vibration, not by physical presence. We should give more stress on sound vibration of Krishna and the spiritual master then we will feel happy and won't feel separation."
But at least lately I try to "hear" Maharaj speak to me through my heart. It's still a challenge at times but then other times when something familiar comes up or if it's something I know that would please Maharaj that's when I can almost "hear" his instructions." It's just that I am so used to seeing my guru Maharaj almost all the time, and I miss him alot as a result and I still do. It may take me years to get used to being quite a distance away from my guru Maharaj. I have to keep reminding myself that I may be 3,000 miles away from my guru Maharaj but I am still under his protective wing and always will be for life which is another reason to feel more obligated to him. I hope I will be able to "hear" his instructions through my heart in the months coming up.
Saturday, January 14, 2012
Friday, January 13, 2012
Harinam Downtown Los Angeles The ArtWalk 1/12/2012
Wow last night was something. We started out a bit late. We left around 7pm. We had to wait for everyone to show up. We took two vans one for the Prabhus and one for the Matajis. There were more prabhus than matajis. But it was still a lot of fun. I still really couldn't do any dancing yet. The matajis dance a bit too fast for me Im a bit slow.
Anyways when we got downtown, we were in not so great of a neighborhood. When we came out of the parking garage across the street were tents with homeless people. I felt sorry for them. But at least in Los Angeles it is warm enough for them and they don't have to sleep in the snow that much I was grateful for them. Anyways, Ganesh Prabhu led the kirtan first. We walked up and down the street and then we stopped after awhile to chant and dance or distribute books. As the harinam went on, I went on chanting but at the same time I was observing the other people walking by. Some people paid no attention to us, others smiled at us as they walked by, and then some people join in on our dancing. One person even took a Bhagavad Gita from one of our devotees and there was one person with their own small drum drumming along with our mrgdangas.
And then the most interesting thing happened. It was later on in the evening when we heard what we thought was a marching band, but as they got closer it turned out to be a bunch of protestors. They were boycotting Shell Oil. Shell is a local gas station here in the United States. I don't know why they are boycotting Shell. I don't pay much attention to politics or worldly news as I am too wrapped up in my spiritual life to pay any attention but sometimes I will catch up on news around the world. I haven't been lately too busy. Anyways, some of us were concerned about their marchng band drowning us out, but Bhakta Eric screamed enthusiastically, "KEEP GOING" meaning he wanted us to keep going with the kirtan and when we did the protestors even danced and joined in with our music for Krishna. It was a melodious sound, and I thought it was very creative and fun. I wish I could have recorded it but It was a bit too crowded so I was unable to get a video shot of it. And then later on as we headed back to the parking garage we ran into the protestors again. There were also people out on the street holding these signs that says "Free Hugs." That totally left me bewildered. Why do these people have signs that say "Free Hugs?" One of our devotees actually hugged one of the people who had that sign in their hands. I was wary of them and stayed behind the devotees but I still chanted and observed people walking by. Bhakta Josh was in total ecstasty with his dancing and so was Bhakta Eric. And Loka Prabhu was in ecstasty too when it was time for him to lead kirtan. They are young I'd say in their mid 20s or close to it. I wish I had their energy. Hopefully when I get my back checked at the doctors I may be able to dance again if there is anything they can do for my back.
As we headed back to the temple after the harinam, in our van the ladies van, we still heard the Prabhus in the other van in front of us they were STILL having kirtan even after the harinam was over. they were just so ecstatic that they wanted to keep going on with it. Us ladies either just chanted japa or dozed off I was dozing off as it was late. We did not return to the temple until 10pm and I was exhausted but felt good. I still managed to get up for Mangal Aarti. When I did I felt so groggy but after my service in the pujari room I felt more perked up. I still feel a bit tired from last night but I think I can handle another night of Harinam. I'll say a pray to Lord Balaram for spiritual strength for tonight. Devotees would pray to Lord Balaram for spiritaul strength since He is so powerful when He kills demons with His club and plow.
But going out on these Harinams is very good for me because it's making me go out more and getting used to people. I know my guru Maharaj would be very pleased about me going out on these harinams which is why I now feel obligated to go every week on harinam so that i can please him and Krishna.
Anyways when we got downtown, we were in not so great of a neighborhood. When we came out of the parking garage across the street were tents with homeless people. I felt sorry for them. But at least in Los Angeles it is warm enough for them and they don't have to sleep in the snow that much I was grateful for them. Anyways, Ganesh Prabhu led the kirtan first. We walked up and down the street and then we stopped after awhile to chant and dance or distribute books. As the harinam went on, I went on chanting but at the same time I was observing the other people walking by. Some people paid no attention to us, others smiled at us as they walked by, and then some people join in on our dancing. One person even took a Bhagavad Gita from one of our devotees and there was one person with their own small drum drumming along with our mrgdangas.
And then the most interesting thing happened. It was later on in the evening when we heard what we thought was a marching band, but as they got closer it turned out to be a bunch of protestors. They were boycotting Shell Oil. Shell is a local gas station here in the United States. I don't know why they are boycotting Shell. I don't pay much attention to politics or worldly news as I am too wrapped up in my spiritual life to pay any attention but sometimes I will catch up on news around the world. I haven't been lately too busy. Anyways, some of us were concerned about their marchng band drowning us out, but Bhakta Eric screamed enthusiastically, "KEEP GOING" meaning he wanted us to keep going with the kirtan and when we did the protestors even danced and joined in with our music for Krishna. It was a melodious sound, and I thought it was very creative and fun. I wish I could have recorded it but It was a bit too crowded so I was unable to get a video shot of it. And then later on as we headed back to the parking garage we ran into the protestors again. There were also people out on the street holding these signs that says "Free Hugs." That totally left me bewildered. Why do these people have signs that say "Free Hugs?" One of our devotees actually hugged one of the people who had that sign in their hands. I was wary of them and stayed behind the devotees but I still chanted and observed people walking by. Bhakta Josh was in total ecstasty with his dancing and so was Bhakta Eric. And Loka Prabhu was in ecstasty too when it was time for him to lead kirtan. They are young I'd say in their mid 20s or close to it. I wish I had their energy. Hopefully when I get my back checked at the doctors I may be able to dance again if there is anything they can do for my back.
As we headed back to the temple after the harinam, in our van the ladies van, we still heard the Prabhus in the other van in front of us they were STILL having kirtan even after the harinam was over. they were just so ecstatic that they wanted to keep going on with it. Us ladies either just chanted japa or dozed off I was dozing off as it was late. We did not return to the temple until 10pm and I was exhausted but felt good. I still managed to get up for Mangal Aarti. When I did I felt so groggy but after my service in the pujari room I felt more perked up. I still feel a bit tired from last night but I think I can handle another night of Harinam. I'll say a pray to Lord Balaram for spiritual strength for tonight. Devotees would pray to Lord Balaram for spiritaul strength since He is so powerful when He kills demons with His club and plow.
But going out on these Harinams is very good for me because it's making me go out more and getting used to people. I know my guru Maharaj would be very pleased about me going out on these harinams which is why I now feel obligated to go every week on harinam so that i can please him and Krishna.
Thursday, January 12, 2012
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