Tonight's Aarti at 6:30pm left me stunned again. I stood by Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish the whole entire time and did not move not even an inch. i felt like I was paralayzed or frozen like ice. Krishna really had me glued to that spot by the altar this evening.
This had happened in Toronto as well when I took darshan of the Deities. Krishna's Lotus Petal Eyes left me stunned. So now Sri Sri Rukmini Dwakaradish are doing the same thing to me. I have no idea why. I don't deserve this kind of mercy from Them.
Anyways near the end of the Aarti it felt as if Lord Krishna Himself were looking directly at me....I felt my heart racing and my throat felt a bit choked up. This has not happened to me before unexpectedly like this. At that moment I knew for certain that Krishna is really standing there personally present just as He had in Toronto as well. But this time I felt Him even stronger. People out in the material world would mistake our Deities for being idols but They are NOT idols. They are REAL and They are standing there present before us. But due to the material energy like Srila Prabhupada said, we cannot physically see Them face to face yet because we need spiritual eyes to see Them not material eyes.
I really want to surrender to Krishna a lot more but the question is how when I still have some material desires in me? Im still materially contaminated, and Im still in the mode of passion sometimes. Maybe I need to email Maharaj about this and ask him what this feeling I felt with Krishna is. But I won't forget it. I like being up close to the altar to get a good look at the Deities and sometimes I feel like Im the only one there most of the time alone with the Deities. At times when i am standing there before Them I feel like I don't even exist or feel like Im even standing there.
It's nice to see the Deities especially Krishna Himself who is so beautifully dressed. This is why I love coming to the temple at least there is something beautiful to look at. You don't see this in regular churches. I mean sure regular churches are nice but they don't seem as beautiful as Krishna's Temple.
This week I'll be going out on sankirtan three times. So I will be unable to attend the evening darshan. but tomorrow night I will be able to see Them and tonight too at the last darshan.
Tuesday, January 10, 2012
Monday, January 9, 2012
Quiet Easy Monday
Today was very quiet and peaceful. I did my normal service keeping my mind fixed on Krishna as much as possible. Lately I have been doing that while I do my service. I was just reading today from a Nectar of Devotion lecture on a link that I found of Srila Prabhupada that he says that if we want to always be attached to Krishna's Lotus Feet then we must stay busy in His transcendental loving service.So i did the best I could today with that. I spent an hour and a half in the pujari room today and another hour and a half in the kitchen today. So to me it felt like the day was too short with service. However if I was still in Toronto's temple on a Monday, I'd be busy up to the neck with service because I'd be in the kitchen, taking care of Tulasi, and then extra cleaning after the Sunday Program. So here it's slower with service. At least in the spring I can hel take care of Tulasi.
I spoke to Mukta Prabhu today about helping me sign up for the local doctor at a family clinic near by. So I got the doctor's number and also the letter for them to not to charge me any fees for the visit. i received an email from my guru Maharaj about that and he said he may know the clinic that I would be going to because he had gotten poison ivy in 2004 in LA and he had to go to this same clinic and he knows the doctor there. It's always so nice to get an email from my guru Maharaj. It always makes me smile and feel more inspired about serving Krishna.
I have received a call from my Aunt Tracey today. She said she found a bike for me. She has to call my Uncle Chris to see if he can drive the bike over. This bike will be very helpful as then I can go a farther distance around town if I need to. Krishna makes such nice arrangements. With the bike I can go out more and get some air after my services. Bike riding may be easier on my back than walking. I should save up to buy a bike in Toronto as well. The one I am getting here will have to stay here when I go back to Toronto this summer.
I spent then the rest of the afternoon studying Srila Prabhupada's books. I worked on my guru Maharaj's Bhagavad Gita course for a little while. Then I listened to one of Srila Prabhupada's lectures on the Nectar of Devotion and took nearly three pages worth of notes. Then I studied a bit of Nectar of Devotion on my own and took notes from the book itself. Later this evening I will settle in and try to read the Krishna book some more and maybe a bit of the Srimad Bhagavatam Canto 1.
I spoke to Mukta Prabhu today about helping me sign up for the local doctor at a family clinic near by. So I got the doctor's number and also the letter for them to not to charge me any fees for the visit. i received an email from my guru Maharaj about that and he said he may know the clinic that I would be going to because he had gotten poison ivy in 2004 in LA and he had to go to this same clinic and he knows the doctor there. It's always so nice to get an email from my guru Maharaj. It always makes me smile and feel more inspired about serving Krishna.
I have received a call from my Aunt Tracey today. She said she found a bike for me. She has to call my Uncle Chris to see if he can drive the bike over. This bike will be very helpful as then I can go a farther distance around town if I need to. Krishna makes such nice arrangements. With the bike I can go out more and get some air after my services. Bike riding may be easier on my back than walking. I should save up to buy a bike in Toronto as well. The one I am getting here will have to stay here when I go back to Toronto this summer.
I spent then the rest of the afternoon studying Srila Prabhupada's books. I worked on my guru Maharaj's Bhagavad Gita course for a little while. Then I listened to one of Srila Prabhupada's lectures on the Nectar of Devotion and took nearly three pages worth of notes. Then I studied a bit of Nectar of Devotion on my own and took notes from the book itself. Later this evening I will settle in and try to read the Krishna book some more and maybe a bit of the Srimad Bhagavatam Canto 1.
Sunday, January 8, 2012
Hollywood Sankirtan Party 1/7/2012
Last night was totally awesome. So far it was the best sankirtan party I have been to here in Los Angeles. We were in Hollywood again last night. It was not as busy as it was for New Years but it was still quite full of people walking the streets.
We started our kirtan around 6:45pm. It ended at 8pm. This time I noticed a lot of other people liked our chanting and dancing. Some of the people joined in with dancing with us. A few of the Prabhus handed out books. I decided to just chant the Holy Names this time. I tried a little dancing but some of the matajis then did a little bit of fast dancing which I cannot do due to my back so I have to be careful until I get it checked out then maybe after that I can dance faster.
There was almost one incident however with this older guy. We were all trying to be transcendental and chanting the Holy Names to this guy who seemed totally intoxicated. He kept moving up too close to us women and getting in our faces. So a couple of the Prabhus stood in front of us to protect us from this gentleman who was severly intoxicated. He still tried getting past the Prabhus to get up in our faces until finally we had to call a security guard to remove him. I felt sorry for the intoxicated man but he at least got some benefit of hearing the Holy Names. Then there was this other gentleman who kept talking with one of our matajis I felt a bit uneasy about that and stayed a bit of distance. I stayed in the middle with the matajis so that the Prabhus were near by. I was wary of some of the people out there. It made me realize just how scary Kail Yuga really is because people are really losing their minds out there. They need to hear Krishna to stay sane. I kept my mind focused on Krishna the best I could while I was out there. I felt so much better by the time we got back to the temple and felt a lot safer there. But anyways our kirtan went on even after that short incident. I did make a few recordings. I got two recordings of cartoon characters dancing with us while we were chanting the Holy Names and I thought that was great and funny. I also got some pictures as well which I will post here for you. I will upload the videos later for you to see. I want Maharaj to see the videos if he's got time. He'd love it. I will email them to my godsister and see if she can have him watch them.
Anyways I still had a great time! Here are some photos.
We started our kirtan around 6:45pm. It ended at 8pm. This time I noticed a lot of other people liked our chanting and dancing. Some of the people joined in with dancing with us. A few of the Prabhus handed out books. I decided to just chant the Holy Names this time. I tried a little dancing but some of the matajis then did a little bit of fast dancing which I cannot do due to my back so I have to be careful until I get it checked out then maybe after that I can dance faster.
There was almost one incident however with this older guy. We were all trying to be transcendental and chanting the Holy Names to this guy who seemed totally intoxicated. He kept moving up too close to us women and getting in our faces. So a couple of the Prabhus stood in front of us to protect us from this gentleman who was severly intoxicated. He still tried getting past the Prabhus to get up in our faces until finally we had to call a security guard to remove him. I felt sorry for the intoxicated man but he at least got some benefit of hearing the Holy Names. Then there was this other gentleman who kept talking with one of our matajis I felt a bit uneasy about that and stayed a bit of distance. I stayed in the middle with the matajis so that the Prabhus were near by. I was wary of some of the people out there. It made me realize just how scary Kail Yuga really is because people are really losing their minds out there. They need to hear Krishna to stay sane. I kept my mind focused on Krishna the best I could while I was out there. I felt so much better by the time we got back to the temple and felt a lot safer there. But anyways our kirtan went on even after that short incident. I did make a few recordings. I got two recordings of cartoon characters dancing with us while we were chanting the Holy Names and I thought that was great and funny. I also got some pictures as well which I will post here for you. I will upload the videos later for you to see. I want Maharaj to see the videos if he's got time. He'd love it. I will email them to my godsister and see if she can have him watch them.
Anyways I still had a great time! Here are some photos.
Saturday, January 7, 2012
It's Not Me
Today another realization set in. I was pretty busy for most of the day up until 12 noon. I was in the pujari room for an hour helping put flowers in plastic bags to be used for the garlands the next day and then I was allowed to make the small flower garlands for the mini Lord Jaganatha Deities. Their garlands are a bit hard to make because They are much smaller. The flower mums were difficult to work with because they break easily or they fall off the garland without breaking. But I still managed to make them. It pleases Maharaj when I make the flower garlands for the Deities.
Then I spent two and a half hours in the kitchen today from 9:30am til 11:45am. We had to cut 9 buckets of cauliflower for the Sunday Feast tomorrow. I did not do it all myself of course. Mukta Prabhu, and another Prabhu came in to help with cutting up vegetables. That took me an hour an a half to do. I made four buckets of cauliflower. After that I had to cut two buckets of red cabbage. The red cabbage was tough to cut but I managed to do that as well. Krishna gave me the strength to cut the red cabbage.
I had a two hour break then after I finished in the kitchen while I waited for lunch. I just relaxed in my room browsing youtube for some videos about learning how to dance but I really couldn't find any good ones yet. For lunch we had rice, a nice subji with zuchini, tofu, and im not sure what else was in it but otherwise it was very good and not spicey thank heavens. At least I know I can eat the prasadam here with no problem. They have that no chili or cayenne pepper rule here too. :)
Lastly, at 2:30pm in the afternoon, I went to the pujari room and did some cleaning for an hour. I cleaned the Deitie's laundry room. It's quite small but easy to clean. I cleaned the shelves that were there and dusted off this black refridgerator, and also I cleaned behind it. Behind that refridgerater was absolutely filthy! There was dust and trash on the floor so I got that out of there and wiped off the walls to get rid of the dust and I dusted off the back of the refridgerator too. It was very light for me to move with no problem. I also wiped off the washer and drier, and then swept out the floor really good. I noticed a big difference after it was cleaned. It looked much better. I then decided to dust off the pictures on the wall. While I did that, one of the matajis who was a pujari saw me cleaning off the pictures. She said thank you to me for doing that and said the pictures looked so much better without the dirt on them. I humbly said thank you to her and that it is not really me doing this service, it's my guru Maharaj. I give all the credit to my guru Maharaj because he was the one that showed me how to keep things clean for Krishna. I also say this because when I took the Deity Worship Seminar in Toronto I had learned that when pujaris do Aartis on the altar, it's not really them doing it, it's their spiritual master doing the Aartis. We are no where nearly qualifed or elevated to be standing there on the altar doing those Aartis like our gurus are. Even Krishna said that we have to go through His devotees first in order to reach Him. So I had actually felt happy about the service I was doing because I knew it was really my guru Maharaj doing the service. I"m certainly in no position or qualified to be doing service for Krishna because Im materially contaminated and still thinking that Im this body.
As I've said in one of my previous posts, my guru Maharaj sets the perfect example in following Srila Prabhupada his guru Maharaj. So I am only trying to follow that too. My guru Maharaj loves to help others and also do things around the temple as well. I hope one day I can be like him always wanting to constantly do something for Krishna and help other people too. I thank Krishna for sending me a guru who sets that example for me to follow.
Then I spent two and a half hours in the kitchen today from 9:30am til 11:45am. We had to cut 9 buckets of cauliflower for the Sunday Feast tomorrow. I did not do it all myself of course. Mukta Prabhu, and another Prabhu came in to help with cutting up vegetables. That took me an hour an a half to do. I made four buckets of cauliflower. After that I had to cut two buckets of red cabbage. The red cabbage was tough to cut but I managed to do that as well. Krishna gave me the strength to cut the red cabbage.
I had a two hour break then after I finished in the kitchen while I waited for lunch. I just relaxed in my room browsing youtube for some videos about learning how to dance but I really couldn't find any good ones yet. For lunch we had rice, a nice subji with zuchini, tofu, and im not sure what else was in it but otherwise it was very good and not spicey thank heavens. At least I know I can eat the prasadam here with no problem. They have that no chili or cayenne pepper rule here too. :)
Lastly, at 2:30pm in the afternoon, I went to the pujari room and did some cleaning for an hour. I cleaned the Deitie's laundry room. It's quite small but easy to clean. I cleaned the shelves that were there and dusted off this black refridgerator, and also I cleaned behind it. Behind that refridgerater was absolutely filthy! There was dust and trash on the floor so I got that out of there and wiped off the walls to get rid of the dust and I dusted off the back of the refridgerator too. It was very light for me to move with no problem. I also wiped off the washer and drier, and then swept out the floor really good. I noticed a big difference after it was cleaned. It looked much better. I then decided to dust off the pictures on the wall. While I did that, one of the matajis who was a pujari saw me cleaning off the pictures. She said thank you to me for doing that and said the pictures looked so much better without the dirt on them. I humbly said thank you to her and that it is not really me doing this service, it's my guru Maharaj. I give all the credit to my guru Maharaj because he was the one that showed me how to keep things clean for Krishna. I also say this because when I took the Deity Worship Seminar in Toronto I had learned that when pujaris do Aartis on the altar, it's not really them doing it, it's their spiritual master doing the Aartis. We are no where nearly qualifed or elevated to be standing there on the altar doing those Aartis like our gurus are. Even Krishna said that we have to go through His devotees first in order to reach Him. So I had actually felt happy about the service I was doing because I knew it was really my guru Maharaj doing the service. I"m certainly in no position or qualified to be doing service for Krishna because Im materially contaminated and still thinking that Im this body.
As I've said in one of my previous posts, my guru Maharaj sets the perfect example in following Srila Prabhupada his guru Maharaj. So I am only trying to follow that too. My guru Maharaj loves to help others and also do things around the temple as well. I hope one day I can be like him always wanting to constantly do something for Krishna and help other people too. I thank Krishna for sending me a guru who sets that example for me to follow.
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