Friday, December 23, 2011
Pictures of My Baby Tulasis
In case anyone here who has not seen the baby Tulasis I had planted in Toronto here they are! These are the most recent photos I have of her. I miss her so much. The first four pictures are of my oldest young tulasis I've planted back in mid august. I just took these photos of her at the end of November. Her leaves are the size of the palm of my hand. Im sure she's grown a lot since I've been gone from Toronto nearly three weeks. *sigh* I hate being separated from her!!!I miss doing aartis for her and reading to her etc. I would spent four hours or more in her green house doing service for her and I am aching to go back to that service.
Daily Darshan of Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish
Today's darshan of Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish 12-23-2011
A Deity of Vrnda Devi That I Want VERY Much
This morning I was on krishna.com browsing their store and a deity had caught my attention! They have a Deity of Vrnda Devi and I want her so badly!! But she costs $139.00 I'll have to save every single penny to get her! If I can't have an actual Tulasi plant then I will try to get this Deity of her! Here is a link to see her.
http://store.krishna.com/catalog/KMDW801_b.jpg
Vrnda Devi is Tulasi. She arranges Radha and Krishna's pasttimes which is why she has a parrot in her hand because she sends her parrots to tell Them where to meet. I hope Krishna will let me have her in her Deity form from this store, because that would definately help ease the pain of separation from her in Toronto. I have a Lord Nrsimahadeva Deity that I currently take care of but I want Vrnda Devi now too! I love her a lot because she's been so merciful to me. I have a picture of Vrnda Devi in a Deity form of her in India.
Im very excited about seeing this Deity on their website. I hope they will have her for awhile until I can save up for her. It'll take me a couple weeks probably unless I can manage to get her after Christmas somehow. Maybe by the end of Janurary I can get her.
They also have Krishna and Balaram Deities too that I'd LOVE to have but I want Vrnda Devi first. :D I want to get her before they run out!
http://store.krishna.com/catalog/KMDW801_b.jpg
Vrnda Devi is Tulasi. She arranges Radha and Krishna's pasttimes which is why she has a parrot in her hand because she sends her parrots to tell Them where to meet. I hope Krishna will let me have her in her Deity form from this store, because that would definately help ease the pain of separation from her in Toronto. I have a Lord Nrsimahadeva Deity that I currently take care of but I want Vrnda Devi now too! I love her a lot because she's been so merciful to me. I have a picture of Vrnda Devi in a Deity form of her in India.
Im very excited about seeing this Deity on their website. I hope they will have her for awhile until I can save up for her. It'll take me a couple weeks probably unless I can manage to get her after Christmas somehow. Maybe by the end of Janurary I can get her.
They also have Krishna and Balaram Deities too that I'd LOVE to have but I want Vrnda Devi first. :D I want to get her before they run out!
Thursday, December 22, 2011
Hearing My Guru Maharaj's Instructions Through My Heart
More realizations are sinking in. Krishna is still being merciful to me. Today He had let me "hear" my guru Maharaj's instructions to me through my heart because He knows I'm struggling still a little bit with separation.
My day started off early as I had said in my most recent post today. During the morning program, the temple president made an announcement that we would be remembering a great devotee named Yamuna Devi Dasi, who was one of Srila Prabhupada's first disciples, and my guru Maharaj's godsister. All day long I could just "hear" Maharaj say to me "You should come to the program tonight." I know he'd want me to come to show support. I never met Yamuna Devi Dasi but after the program tonight I thought that she was such a great devotee and seemed like a very nice mataji according to others who have spoken about her tonight. So I had gone to this program not only because the temple president asked us to come but even before he had asked us to come I "heard" my guru Maharaj instructiong me to come to the program to remember his godsister Yamuna Devi Dasi. So I also went for him to honor his instructions and strictly follow it.
Also today I did a little bit of cleaning in the pujari room. Today I had washed the walls and borders in the hallways, and cleaned off these old wooden shelves that had A LOT of dust on them. I felt Maharaj was pleased with that service and I hope Krishna Himself was too. Also when I was cleaning those walls in the pujari room, I noticed that they keep two tulasi plants in there for the morning program. So I took my time because I wanted to be near Tulasi. I miss my baby Tulasis back in Toronto. I wish I didn't have to leave her there but since I don't have Canadian citizenshipe I had to come back ot the States. I am very much attached to Tulasi Devi as she has been so merciful to me. There is another Tulasi bead bag in the gift shop I saw that I want to get. I have one with her on my bead bag but this one they have is slightly different. I'll just get a different color with her on it. They have three of those left. I will get it after Christmas.
But now there is only one thing bothering me. My services today seemed too short. I only did two and a half hours of service today and Maharaj wants me to do six hours of service. I hope they will add a little more to my schedule as I want to follow my guru Maharaj's instructions. Hopefully I will be able to "hear" Maharaj's instuctions to me again like that. It had brought me some comfort.
My day started off early as I had said in my most recent post today. During the morning program, the temple president made an announcement that we would be remembering a great devotee named Yamuna Devi Dasi, who was one of Srila Prabhupada's first disciples, and my guru Maharaj's godsister. All day long I could just "hear" Maharaj say to me "You should come to the program tonight." I know he'd want me to come to show support. I never met Yamuna Devi Dasi but after the program tonight I thought that she was such a great devotee and seemed like a very nice mataji according to others who have spoken about her tonight. So I had gone to this program not only because the temple president asked us to come but even before he had asked us to come I "heard" my guru Maharaj instructiong me to come to the program to remember his godsister Yamuna Devi Dasi. So I also went for him to honor his instructions and strictly follow it.
Also today I did a little bit of cleaning in the pujari room. Today I had washed the walls and borders in the hallways, and cleaned off these old wooden shelves that had A LOT of dust on them. I felt Maharaj was pleased with that service and I hope Krishna Himself was too. Also when I was cleaning those walls in the pujari room, I noticed that they keep two tulasi plants in there for the morning program. So I took my time because I wanted to be near Tulasi. I miss my baby Tulasis back in Toronto. I wish I didn't have to leave her there but since I don't have Canadian citizenshipe I had to come back ot the States. I am very much attached to Tulasi Devi as she has been so merciful to me. There is another Tulasi bead bag in the gift shop I saw that I want to get. I have one with her on my bead bag but this one they have is slightly different. I'll just get a different color with her on it. They have three of those left. I will get it after Christmas.
But now there is only one thing bothering me. My services today seemed too short. I only did two and a half hours of service today and Maharaj wants me to do six hours of service. I hope they will add a little more to my schedule as I want to follow my guru Maharaj's instructions. Hopefully I will be able to "hear" Maharaj's instuctions to me again like that. It had brought me some comfort.
Just One of Those Mornings
It's just one of those mornings where I woke up super early. I got up at 2:30am and just chanted my rounds and was pretty much finished by 4:15am before Mangal Aarti. I don't know why I woke up so early. Something was probaby bothering me but only Krishna knows why I woke up so early.
Yesterday did turn out nice despite me struggling with separation from my guru Maharaj. Devotees in the kitchen were kidding around with me. I was talking to a nice mataji who is brand new to the movement. Her name is Sue. She told me she just joined the movement this September. She was asking me questions about how I came to the movement and also she was wanting to know about my guru Maharaj. I will show her a picture of him later because she wanted to know what he looks like.
Usually during the morning programs I just feel really quiet I don't normally talk much until later in the morning. Im still trying to adjust to the new surroundings. I emailed my guru Maharaj last night and told him I am struggling with adjusting a bit. Getting to know new faces and places is a bit overwhelming for me. I hope Krishna will help me get past this obstacle. One of the matajis invited me to dance with the ladies this morning but I wasn't feeling up to it and I didn't want to hurt my back. I cannot do any of the wild dancing they do here. Im not much of a dancer and especially now being in a new place I don't feel ready to do stuff like that.
I know Im still identifying with the body. Im guilty of that. It may take me years to realize it. So I have my faults I can make a whole list of them. But I hope in time Krishna will make me realize that I am not this body but a spirit soul. But it's hard when you are feeling pain in the body. This is a sign for me to do this : more chanting.
Yesterday did turn out nice despite me struggling with separation from my guru Maharaj. Devotees in the kitchen were kidding around with me. I was talking to a nice mataji who is brand new to the movement. Her name is Sue. She told me she just joined the movement this September. She was asking me questions about how I came to the movement and also she was wanting to know about my guru Maharaj. I will show her a picture of him later because she wanted to know what he looks like.
Usually during the morning programs I just feel really quiet I don't normally talk much until later in the morning. Im still trying to adjust to the new surroundings. I emailed my guru Maharaj last night and told him I am struggling with adjusting a bit. Getting to know new faces and places is a bit overwhelming for me. I hope Krishna will help me get past this obstacle. One of the matajis invited me to dance with the ladies this morning but I wasn't feeling up to it and I didn't want to hurt my back. I cannot do any of the wild dancing they do here. Im not much of a dancer and especially now being in a new place I don't feel ready to do stuff like that.
I know Im still identifying with the body. Im guilty of that. It may take me years to realize it. So I have my faults I can make a whole list of them. But I hope in time Krishna will make me realize that I am not this body but a spirit soul. But it's hard when you are feeling pain in the body. This is a sign for me to do this : more chanting.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Feeling Separation From Guru
This morning I am battling the feelings separation from my guru Maharaj. I knew I'd struggle a bit with this. I know everyone keeps telling me that he is always with me but, it's just that I miss serving him directly and hearing his lectures in person, and Im so used to seeing him all the time. This morning I kept wanting to see him come in for mangal aarti and hear him lead kirtan, but I had to remind myself that i am not in toronto but in los angeles. I still feel more at home in Toronto than I do here at the present moment.
I am following his instructions and trying to get myself to realize that I can feel Maharaj's presence through his instructions but it's still hard. Prabhupada had felt separation from his guru maharaj too when I read about him in the biography about Prabhupada. So it is only normal for a devotee to feel that way. I was almost in tears this morning due to the feelings of separation.
They say serving guru in separation is the highest service one can do for guru and krishna. that for me is a tough challenge. I have a bit of trouble adjusting in new places like this one. But I think today will better as I will find out what my new services are. I will be going into the pujari room at 3pm today so I will be doing some direct seva for the Deities. Hopefully they will have a lot for me to do to keep busy. I told the temple president again that my guru Maharaj wants me to do 6 hours of service so they will see how it goes. And it also depends on how much they have for me to do in the kitchen as I was in there for three hours yesterday. As soon as I know what I will be doing in the pujari room I can email Maharaj my seva schedule. As for Tulasi I will have to wait until spring time to help with her. But at least they said I can help with her later. I just have to learn to be patient with that one even though I feel impatient about wanting to serve Tulasi now.
Well Im off to the kitchen to do some service. Im going to chant some extra rounds today too when I can to fight off the feelings of separation from my guru Maharaj. This is going to take sometime for me to get used to.
I am following his instructions and trying to get myself to realize that I can feel Maharaj's presence through his instructions but it's still hard. Prabhupada had felt separation from his guru maharaj too when I read about him in the biography about Prabhupada. So it is only normal for a devotee to feel that way. I was almost in tears this morning due to the feelings of separation.
They say serving guru in separation is the highest service one can do for guru and krishna. that for me is a tough challenge. I have a bit of trouble adjusting in new places like this one. But I think today will better as I will find out what my new services are. I will be going into the pujari room at 3pm today so I will be doing some direct seva for the Deities. Hopefully they will have a lot for me to do to keep busy. I told the temple president again that my guru Maharaj wants me to do 6 hours of service so they will see how it goes. And it also depends on how much they have for me to do in the kitchen as I was in there for three hours yesterday. As soon as I know what I will be doing in the pujari room I can email Maharaj my seva schedule. As for Tulasi I will have to wait until spring time to help with her. But at least they said I can help with her later. I just have to learn to be patient with that one even though I feel impatient about wanting to serve Tulasi now.
Well Im off to the kitchen to do some service. Im going to chant some extra rounds today too when I can to fight off the feelings of separation from my guru Maharaj. This is going to take sometime for me to get used to.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)