This morning I am battling the feelings separation from my guru Maharaj. I knew I'd struggle a bit with this. I know everyone keeps telling me that he is always with me but, it's just that I miss serving him directly and hearing his lectures in person, and Im so used to seeing him all the time. This morning I kept wanting to see him come in for mangal aarti and hear him lead kirtan, but I had to remind myself that i am not in toronto but in los angeles. I still feel more at home in Toronto than I do here at the present moment.
I am following his instructions and trying to get myself to realize that I can feel Maharaj's presence through his instructions but it's still hard. Prabhupada had felt separation from his guru maharaj too when I read about him in the biography about Prabhupada. So it is only normal for a devotee to feel that way. I was almost in tears this morning due to the feelings of separation.
They say serving guru in separation is the highest service one can do for guru and krishna. that for me is a tough challenge. I have a bit of trouble adjusting in new places like this one. But I think today will better as I will find out what my new services are. I will be going into the pujari room at 3pm today so I will be doing some direct seva for the Deities. Hopefully they will have a lot for me to do to keep busy. I told the temple president again that my guru Maharaj wants me to do 6 hours of service so they will see how it goes. And it also depends on how much they have for me to do in the kitchen as I was in there for three hours yesterday. As soon as I know what I will be doing in the pujari room I can email Maharaj my seva schedule. As for Tulasi I will have to wait until spring time to help with her. But at least they said I can help with her later. I just have to learn to be patient with that one even though I feel impatient about wanting to serve Tulasi now.
Well Im off to the kitchen to do some service. Im going to chant some extra rounds today too when I can to fight off the feelings of separation from my guru Maharaj. This is going to take sometime for me to get used to.
Wednesday, December 21, 2011
Tuesday, December 20, 2011
Try to Satisfy Krsna And Ekadashi
I was just going over a lecture by Srila Prabhupada 1.8.29 in the Srimad Bhagavatam. He was talking about how we should surrender to Krsna and try to satify Him.
If we try to satisfy Krsna then He will satisfy us. He doesn't need our service but he kindly accepts it Prabhupada said. Today I was talking with a couple devotees about this about satisfying guru and Krsna. One devotee says that you must be joyful with the service you are doing otherwise it will not be transcendental loving service to Krsna it would just be mundane work. But if you think that you are doing this for Krsna's satisfaction then you can become more joyful about the service. I was keeping that in mind today while cutting vegetables. "I am doing this for Krsna and his devotees and also for my guru Maharaj." Krsna's devotees here seemed VERY much pleased with me helping them cut up vegetables so I felt that Krsna was pleased too including my guru Maharaj. I had cut up some snow peas, brussell sprouts, tofu, and zuchini which took me three hours to do and I didnt mind it. My back was also hurting a bit but I ignored the pain as much as I could because I was doing this for Krsna.
Prabhupada also said in the lecture that the only way to stop satisfying our material senses is to satisfy Krsna's sense then we will no longer be servant of our senses. This is something I should focus on.
I also spoke with the mataji who was in charge of Tulasi. She's a Prabhupada disciple and she seemed like a very quiet and grave devotee but still nice. I asked her if there was anything I can do to help with Tulasi and she said maybe in the spring time i can help with Tulasi. Right now Tulasi doesn't really require so much attention in the winter time. So I will continue to pray to Krsna in letting me help care for Tulasi when He's ready.
Today I chanted 20 rounds. We're supposed to read and chant more on Ekadashi. I fasted until 12:30pm today. We had Gauranga Potatoes for lunch yummy! On Ekadashi I try to fast at least until 12 noon and if I feel I've mastered that maybe I can try for the whole day to please Krsna. But He knows what I can and can't handle. I want to try to do more for Krsna since He's already done a lot for me. I hope the temple president here will have more on my schedule so that I can satisfy Krsna more. Three hours of service is not enough. My guru Maharaj wants me to do 6 hours and I must follow those instructions. I will speak with him tomorrow if he has anything ready for me to do.
Right now there is a maha kirtan going on. They have that here on Tuesday nights I think. I have some things to work on though. I need to work on Maharaj's BG course and send it to him sometime soon. Im trying to figure out how I can answer the first few questions as I am having a little trouble finding the answers to. So I have some homework to work on now I will post more stuff later on as it comes up. :) At least I am having many realizations here in Los Angeles and I've only been here for a week and a half, but only a few days at the temple.As I've said in my last post Krsna is being so kind to me, even when things aren't looking bright Krsna is still kind and merciful to me. All glories to Lord Sri Krsna and Srila Prabhupada. Why they are being so kind to this undeserving materially contaminated soul is beyond me. Im not qualified for anything. I can only try to satisfy Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krsna the best I can.
If we try to satisfy Krsna then He will satisfy us. He doesn't need our service but he kindly accepts it Prabhupada said. Today I was talking with a couple devotees about this about satisfying guru and Krsna. One devotee says that you must be joyful with the service you are doing otherwise it will not be transcendental loving service to Krsna it would just be mundane work. But if you think that you are doing this for Krsna's satisfaction then you can become more joyful about the service. I was keeping that in mind today while cutting vegetables. "I am doing this for Krsna and his devotees and also for my guru Maharaj." Krsna's devotees here seemed VERY much pleased with me helping them cut up vegetables so I felt that Krsna was pleased too including my guru Maharaj. I had cut up some snow peas, brussell sprouts, tofu, and zuchini which took me three hours to do and I didnt mind it. My back was also hurting a bit but I ignored the pain as much as I could because I was doing this for Krsna.
Prabhupada also said in the lecture that the only way to stop satisfying our material senses is to satisfy Krsna's sense then we will no longer be servant of our senses. This is something I should focus on.
I also spoke with the mataji who was in charge of Tulasi. She's a Prabhupada disciple and she seemed like a very quiet and grave devotee but still nice. I asked her if there was anything I can do to help with Tulasi and she said maybe in the spring time i can help with Tulasi. Right now Tulasi doesn't really require so much attention in the winter time. So I will continue to pray to Krsna in letting me help care for Tulasi when He's ready.
Today I chanted 20 rounds. We're supposed to read and chant more on Ekadashi. I fasted until 12:30pm today. We had Gauranga Potatoes for lunch yummy! On Ekadashi I try to fast at least until 12 noon and if I feel I've mastered that maybe I can try for the whole day to please Krsna. But He knows what I can and can't handle. I want to try to do more for Krsna since He's already done a lot for me. I hope the temple president here will have more on my schedule so that I can satisfy Krsna more. Three hours of service is not enough. My guru Maharaj wants me to do 6 hours and I must follow those instructions. I will speak with him tomorrow if he has anything ready for me to do.
Right now there is a maha kirtan going on. They have that here on Tuesday nights I think. I have some things to work on though. I need to work on Maharaj's BG course and send it to him sometime soon. Im trying to figure out how I can answer the first few questions as I am having a little trouble finding the answers to. So I have some homework to work on now I will post more stuff later on as it comes up. :) At least I am having many realizations here in Los Angeles and I've only been here for a week and a half, but only a few days at the temple.As I've said in my last post Krsna is being so kind to me, even when things aren't looking bright Krsna is still kind and merciful to me. All glories to Lord Sri Krsna and Srila Prabhupada. Why they are being so kind to this undeserving materially contaminated soul is beyond me. Im not qualified for anything. I can only try to satisfy Srila Prabhupada and Lord Krsna the best I can.
Krishna is so kind
Lately I've found myself disovering that Krishna is being very kind to me. My debt to Him for His kindness is pretty much impossible for me to repay just like my guru Maharaj's kindness to me is impossible for me to repay him too!
But I am grateful for Krishna's kindness. Little by little I can feel myself spiritually advance. Especially with my guru Maharaj's mercy that he gave to me before I left Toronto has really helped. His instructions are helping me too and I can feel my material desires gradually disappear. this is what happens when one actually has true faith in Krishna who is God Himself. I feel I have no doubts at all about Krishna and I feel very comfortable being in His devotional service because many of my desires and prayers have been answered since being in this movement.
Krishna knows what I need to spiritually advance. So He's brought me to two temples to where He knows I will advance more and surrender to Him more. I do feel comfortable here in New Dwaraka so far.Im still trying to get to know everyone but here the devotees do have a sense of humor and they do talk about Krishna and their realizations throughout the day here. They do not speak nonesense. So I am again grateful for Krishna's kindness that He has brought me here to this temple in Los Angeles. I only have to continue serving Krishna with love and devotion without expecting anything in return. I was reading something in the Bhagavatam this morning that the Gopis loved Krishna without getting any in return. I hope I can develope that same love they have for Him too.
So I am praising Krishna's kindness. He does reciprocate with His devotee if they have enough love and devotion. Bhakti Yoga really is the path in realizing God. Prabhupada is right on everything he's said so I will also praise Prabhupada for his words of wisdom too. I may not be able to physically see Krishna but I am learning to see Him within my heart and slowly through other's hearts as well.
But I am grateful for Krishna's kindness. Little by little I can feel myself spiritually advance. Especially with my guru Maharaj's mercy that he gave to me before I left Toronto has really helped. His instructions are helping me too and I can feel my material desires gradually disappear. this is what happens when one actually has true faith in Krishna who is God Himself. I feel I have no doubts at all about Krishna and I feel very comfortable being in His devotional service because many of my desires and prayers have been answered since being in this movement.
Krishna knows what I need to spiritually advance. So He's brought me to two temples to where He knows I will advance more and surrender to Him more. I do feel comfortable here in New Dwaraka so far.Im still trying to get to know everyone but here the devotees do have a sense of humor and they do talk about Krishna and their realizations throughout the day here. They do not speak nonesense. So I am again grateful for Krishna's kindness that He has brought me here to this temple in Los Angeles. I only have to continue serving Krishna with love and devotion without expecting anything in return. I was reading something in the Bhagavatam this morning that the Gopis loved Krishna without getting any in return. I hope I can develope that same love they have for Him too.
So I am praising Krishna's kindness. He does reciprocate with His devotee if they have enough love and devotion. Bhakti Yoga really is the path in realizing God. Prabhupada is right on everything he's said so I will also praise Prabhupada for his words of wisdom too. I may not be able to physically see Krishna but I am learning to see Him within my heart and slowly through other's hearts as well.
Daily Darshan of Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish
Today's Darshan of Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish 12-20-2011
Monday, December 19, 2011
Today's Darshan Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish
Today's Darshan of Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish
21-19-2011
Sunday, December 18, 2011
Sunday Program
Had another great day here in New Dwarakadish. I attended the regular morning program both Mangal Aarti and Guru Puja. The kirtans are very nice here. The Deities well They leave me stunned so far after the programs.
This morning Prabhupada gave class. We went over Srimad Bhagavatam Canto 1 Ch. 2 Text 33. Prabhupada spoke a lot about Krishna's energies and how it is controlled by Him and also about how we should not stay on one platform. One must try to rise above their current platform in order to spiritually advance. I took about two and a half pages worth of notes from the lecture as intructed by my guru Maharaj. He wanted me to take notes from Prabhupada's lecture which I did obediantly. So going furthur on about the lecture Prabhupada said that the only way we can rise above our current platform is by becoming more sincere and serious to perform our devotional service. he said that attending the programs and worshiping the Deity in the temple is a good start but one must rise above that too. One must know what a Bhakta really is. A Bhakta is someone who helps others and spreads the Holy Names. So I really liked what Prabhupada had spoken about and I can try to work on rising above the platform i am currently on. I have felt myself advance a little more but Im terrified of finding myself in a pithole if I let anything slide or don't try to do something new.
After breakfast I headed over to the kitchen again. no one had asked me to come and help. I just went there on my own, trying to keep in mind what Prabhupada said and also my guru Maharaj's instructions. The Prabus who were in the kitchen were grateful for me helping them and they seemed very pleased. One of them even wants the temple president to keep me in the kitchen. It made me think of what Maharaj had told me before I left Toronto. He said to do service that I do well with and like, and also keep the devotees pleased by helping them then I'd be pleasing him. So I felt it in my heart that Maharaj is pleased. It's still hard for me to serve Maharaj in separation, hopefully it will get better in time. Im always concerned if I am serving Maharaj properly while I'm away and I try to follow his instructions the best I can. Im so used of him telling me that I am doing well with service and all but like I said now that Im away it's harder to tell.
I am thinking of getting my own set of Deities. In this temple I can do a small Aarti for Them in my room here. I am going to start off with Gaura Nitai first and of course my Lord Nrsimahadeva Deity too that was given to me by my friend Dayal Nitai. With small Deities you don't have to be second initiated. Gaura Nitai accepts all offenses so since I am still a bit new with Aartis and serving Deities I really should start with Them. I pretty much know the basics about how to serve Deities but i know it goes a lot more deeper than what I already know. I hope they have some Gaura Nitai Deities here that are small that I can start of with and something I can afford. I probably won't get Them until after Christmas. Then when I come back to Toronto I can ask if Maharaj can name my Deities if I do get them if he doesn't mind.
Today is the Sunday Feast. The program I believe starts here at 4pm with the Aarti and then class. The Feast here is at 6pm. Im probably going to have prasadam then because we don't have lunch here on Sundays. Im already hungry for prasadam. i have a banana i can eat to hold me off until later.
The buffet here is separate so if devotees want it they have to pay for it too which is $8.00
I had some potato salad from the buffet last night it was sooooo good. I love their potato salad here.:)
Tomorrow I will find out what my service shedule is and post it here.
This morning Prabhupada gave class. We went over Srimad Bhagavatam Canto 1 Ch. 2 Text 33. Prabhupada spoke a lot about Krishna's energies and how it is controlled by Him and also about how we should not stay on one platform. One must try to rise above their current platform in order to spiritually advance. I took about two and a half pages worth of notes from the lecture as intructed by my guru Maharaj. He wanted me to take notes from Prabhupada's lecture which I did obediantly. So going furthur on about the lecture Prabhupada said that the only way we can rise above our current platform is by becoming more sincere and serious to perform our devotional service. he said that attending the programs and worshiping the Deity in the temple is a good start but one must rise above that too. One must know what a Bhakta really is. A Bhakta is someone who helps others and spreads the Holy Names. So I really liked what Prabhupada had spoken about and I can try to work on rising above the platform i am currently on. I have felt myself advance a little more but Im terrified of finding myself in a pithole if I let anything slide or don't try to do something new.
After breakfast I headed over to the kitchen again. no one had asked me to come and help. I just went there on my own, trying to keep in mind what Prabhupada said and also my guru Maharaj's instructions. The Prabus who were in the kitchen were grateful for me helping them and they seemed very pleased. One of them even wants the temple president to keep me in the kitchen. It made me think of what Maharaj had told me before I left Toronto. He said to do service that I do well with and like, and also keep the devotees pleased by helping them then I'd be pleasing him. So I felt it in my heart that Maharaj is pleased. It's still hard for me to serve Maharaj in separation, hopefully it will get better in time. Im always concerned if I am serving Maharaj properly while I'm away and I try to follow his instructions the best I can. Im so used of him telling me that I am doing well with service and all but like I said now that Im away it's harder to tell.
I am thinking of getting my own set of Deities. In this temple I can do a small Aarti for Them in my room here. I am going to start off with Gaura Nitai first and of course my Lord Nrsimahadeva Deity too that was given to me by my friend Dayal Nitai. With small Deities you don't have to be second initiated. Gaura Nitai accepts all offenses so since I am still a bit new with Aartis and serving Deities I really should start with Them. I pretty much know the basics about how to serve Deities but i know it goes a lot more deeper than what I already know. I hope they have some Gaura Nitai Deities here that are small that I can start of with and something I can afford. I probably won't get Them until after Christmas. Then when I come back to Toronto I can ask if Maharaj can name my Deities if I do get them if he doesn't mind.
Today is the Sunday Feast. The program I believe starts here at 4pm with the Aarti and then class. The Feast here is at 6pm. Im probably going to have prasadam then because we don't have lunch here on Sundays. Im already hungry for prasadam. i have a banana i can eat to hold me off until later.
The buffet here is separate so if devotees want it they have to pay for it too which is $8.00
I had some potato salad from the buffet last night it was sooooo good. I love their potato salad here.:)
Tomorrow I will find out what my service shedule is and post it here.
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