Watch out where you step!Maya's Traps!

Yes one can be in maya even in the temple. Maya is illusion things that are only temporary in this world. They are never eternal. Maya leads us to believe we can be happy in this material world But that is one of her major traps to catch innocent souls who really belong to Lord Krishna who is God Himself.

But also I found out maya's other traps as well. It is not just sense gratification that she grabs us but also inner feelings we have in our hearts or just thinking of ourselves. Pride,  envy, stress, anxiety, depression, anger, etc all are maya for sure in my opinion. We put ourselves in these conditions due to our forgetting Krishna. Krishna had mercifully and gradually made me come to realize this. Why couldn't I have seen this before when I was living in New Vrndavan? Was it because I was ignorant, thinking of myself? Or just plain worrying too much? Too much pride? Not remembering Krishna enough caused me all these problems is definately one issue. I wasn't depending on Him. So I have to carefully watch out where I step because I could fall into maya's trap. It's as if she has unlimited traps. We're all walking on egg shells in this world and we have to be careful with our spiritual life so as not to get an animal body the next life.

So Krishna has revealed to me what I must work on. I definately need to work on being a bit more humble, I need to be a little more open to others as I do feel so closed up a lot of the time. Need to get rid of my shyness is another. Shyness can also be maya too.Tolerance is another major issue for me and also anxiety. I can also be very quiet a lot of time also. I was probably being offensive too at times but others would disagree with me on that more than likely.

But most of all I want to avoid negativity. And everything I mentioned above what Maya's traps are all lead to depression and it's happened to me so there is your proof. Depression I think is Maya's greatest weapon of all which can destroy a living entity fatally if one is not careful.

So I have set some goals for myself hopefully I can try to keep them. I don't want to take vows as those are more permanant than goals. Goals can fade away if not worked on. My goals are these : be more humble when serving Krishna's devotees even when they are in a bad mood or are arguementative, and try to memorize some sanskrit verses that relate to my problems. Maybe I can practice on them this week if I can remember too. I need to fit it in my busy seva schedule somehow. But my advice to all devotees out there watch out where you step you could be walking into one of maya's traps if you are not careful. Call out to Krishna if you get stuck! Haribol All glories to Srila Prabhupada.

Glorifying Lord Krishna

I can fully say Im happy to glorify Lord Krishna in this blog post. Lately He has been so kind to me. I am not sure what I did to please Krishna as I am not qualified to be doing services for Him. But yet Lord Krishna still reciprocated with me by fullfilling a few of my transcendental desires not material ones.

The first thing was about the Los Angeles Temple. Krishna knew I had a desire to go there to stay. One being that Nirantara is there to give classes and I love hearing his classes. Then I had asked Nirantara if he can show me how to play harmonium and he said he would. Krishna had just fullfilled these desires I had. I guess they were small an easy desires for Krishna to fullfill. But my one desire is not entirely fullfilled yet and that is wanting to stay here permanantly in Toronto to serve my guru Maharaj and Tulasi Devi. It is up to Krishna in what He wants me to do. I am simply waiting His reply. In return I believe He is simply waiting to see how much more I surrender to Him. But I am not sure what He wants me to do. I am sure He will let me know soon enough.

Then this past weekend Lord Krishna knew I had a desire in wanting to know more about Deity Worship. So He very kindly had Bhakti Yoga Prabhu one of our local pujaris here give a Deity Worship Seminar class. I will be attending it this weekend. So there is proof that Krishna does fullfill desires. Some desires take longer than others to fullfill probably because I must do something more for Krishna in love and devotion.

But I hope and pray to Lord Krishna that I will love serving Him in the Los Angeles Temple as I had difficulty in New Vrndavan. So far Toronto's temple is the only Hare Krishna Temple I feel most comfortable being at. Maharaj wants me to at least try out Los Angeles for awhile too and apparently so does Krishna. I never though Sri Sri Rukmini Dwarakadish would allow me to do some service for Them. I may have had a desire in the past before moving to New Vrndavan to serve Them but now Krishna has kindly made this arrangement for me to do this.

Just how kind is Krishna? Well He is the Supreme Lord God Himself! He can do anything. There is a verse in the Sri Siksastakam by Lord Chaitanya:

ashlishya va pada-ratam pinashtu mam
adarshanan marma-hatam karotu va
yatha tatha va vidadhatu lampato
mat-prana-nathas tu sa eva naparah

I know no one but Krishna as my Lord, and He shall remain so even if He handles me roughly by His embrace or makes me brokenhearted by not being present before me. He is completely free to do anything and everything, for He is always my worshipful Lord unconditionally.

So this is what I believe. It is true that Lord Krishna is my Lord. And it says right there that He is completely free to do anything and everything which is very true. One must be self realized to see this. I have had plenty of realizations to see this which is why I believe in Krishna! He does exist! And He is more kind than anyone in this universe.  We may not physically see Him but the only thing we can do is see Him in others or in His Deity form. I also try to meditate on Krishna's childhood pasttimes where He plays with His cowherd boyfriends which I think is adorable. I can just picture how much fun it must be to play with Krishna and be His friend. But He is a friend to all. :)

Krishna is very kind and loving. And He puts us in certain situations to make us realize that we have to depend only on Him alone. I have to keep repeating this to myself often but sometimes my mind refuses to listen. So what to do? Chant more rounds maybe? Read more about His childhood pasttimes? Maya still tries to attack me and it makes me very angry. I want to surrender more to Krishna but Maya is not letting me so Iament about this. :( I even often pray to Tulasi help me feel closer to Krishna because she too can help us become devoted to Krishna.

Maharaj's Appearace Day 2011

My guru Maharaj H.H Bhaktimarga Swami had his appearance day celebration the other night. It was an unforgettable exeperience. By Lord Krishna's mercy I was able to witness for the very first time a guru's vyasa puja which is considered very very sacred. Without a bona fide spiritual master one cannot make any advancement. So we did this ceremony for Maharaj yesterday in celebration of his birthday. He turned 59. Next year he will be 60 and I hear it will be a much bigger celebration.

We did a fire sacrifice in the temple room for Maharaj for a half hour.Maharaj wore the red, white, and orange flower garland I made for him. I was blissful it looked so nice on him and that he accepted it. He didn't know that I made it for him. I was going to tell him but decided not to.  Not many people were there yet. Maharaj looked a bit uncomfortable sitting there and he did look slightly nervous even in Govinda's I don't think he felt too comfortable about his vyasa puja being celebrated. I can tell he looked nervous. Then after the fire sacrifice, Maharaj led kirtan for the Deities for a half hour.

At 6:30 we all headed into Govindas which is our temple's restaurant. There they did Aarti for him and four Prabhu's bathed Maharaj's feet I wish I could have gotten a glimpse of Maharaj's feet or get a picture of his feet but unfortunately I wasn't able to. Then everyone was invited up to go up to Maharaj and offer obeisances unto him. I was so terrified that I let everyone else go ahead of me. I didn't feel ready to go up to Maharaj. I felt like I was back at my initiation which is why I nearly went last. So not only did it seem like Maharaj was nervous I was  terrified myself when  I went to offer my obeisances to him. I had gotten Maharaj a new iron for his clothes and made him a copy of the slideshow of Srila Prabhupada for him in case he wants to watch it  again. After everyone gave Maharaj gives or obeisances, Maharaj went to cut the cake. And then lastly was the slideshow of Prabhupada that I made for him. I was surprised that everyone loved the slideshow of Prabhupada that I made. I was not expecting the devotees to go wild over it but they did. And Harinam the prabhu who was in charge of the celebration wants me to make another slideshow for next year. Maharaj had thanked me several times for the slideshow. I was so happy he was  very pleased with it.

Then we all had prasadam. However I couldn't stand in the long line because my back was hurting me from sitting on the floor. Maharaj was so kind he gave me  prasadam from his plate so I thanked him for it and I told him he didn't have to do that. So I went  and distributed some of it to my fellow godborthers and godsisters because it was maha prasadam from Maharaj.  I also forgot to mention that  during  the  gift giving ceremony and glorification, Maharaj suddenly tossed to me a flower he was  holding. He startled me with that. I still have the flower of course. During prasadam I sat with my godbrother Ramachandra and a friend of our s Rishi. I told Ramachandra we needed a new photo taken with Maharaj and Rishi helped by using his camera. Here is the picture below.

And also here is a photo of Maharaj wearing the flower garland I made for him.

I felt so blissful seeing this garland i made for him around him.

Over all it was such an auspicious day for many of us. I had fasted all day for Maharaj to burn off my bad karma I may have had so as not to spiritually harm him on his vyasa puja. I felt I had to do it since he has done so much for me. And to finish it off here is another beautiful photo of my guru Maharaj during the second half of his vyasa puja.All glories to H.H Bhaktimarga Swami! May Lord Krishna send him many blessings and give him all protection!

My Shiksha Guru

I now have a new Shiksha guru. His name is H.G Nirantara das Prabhu. He is a Prabhupada disciple who is based in the state of California and normally preaches at the Los Angeles Temple.

I can't remember exactly how I found him. I think it was when I first found mayapur.tv was how I found him and clicked on his channel. I sat there listening to his classes and just got so inspired. He reminds me of my own guru Maharaj in several ways. I had found Nirantara Prabhu I think about a year ago on mayapur.tv.

A few days ago I asked Nirantara Prabhu if he could be my Shiksha guru. He said yes. He said that Srila Prabhupada had once said that we can have many shiksha gurus and only one diksha guru(initiating guru). Nirantara Prabhu had found me on facebook and and I immediately added him and that's when I asked him if he could be my shiksha guru. :) Another good excuse to keep my facebook pages. I don't think I will be getting rid of my facebook pages now because I have my Cleveland friends on there and now I have my Shiksha guru on there as well.

I also love the concerts that Nirantara Prabhu sometimes does on his webcasts. A lot of his songs sounds so much like the Beatles which is what got me attracted to his lectures and music. I had asked him yesterday if he could dedicate a class and song for my guru maharaj's upcoming appearance day and he had also agreed to do it. He is so kind just like my guru Maharaj.

My dad has met Nirantara Prabhu the night I first met him in person back in March earlier this year. He had given my dad blessings and I know my dad has gotten purification from that alone.

Nirantara Prabhu has his own website that you can take a look at www.nirantara.com or you can find him on www.iskcondesiretree.net and click under Prabhujis and click on Prabhujis K-R then scroll down and click on H.G Nirantara das Prabhu. He has many of his songs and lectures on there as well. He normally gives classes on Thursdays and Sundays as far as I know but there are other days he does classes online. Sometimes on tuesdays like tonight he is giving a class and concert which I am excited about.  :) I cannot wait to hear it tonight.

My Guru Maharaj Mentioned George Last Week

Well my guru Maharaj knew I wasn't feeling too happy. My guru Maharaj knows me like a book inside and out. He even knows what I am thinking too.  So he finds his ways to cheer me up. And what does he do? He mentions George. :) This is one reason why I had surrendered to my guru Maharaj so easily. He knows about my background on how I came into Krishna Conciousness and so he had mentioned George at the end of class last week while my godbrother Ramachandra das Prabhu was here visiting.

So my guru Maharaj just says randomly at the end of class: "So everyone here knows how Hari Lila came to Krishna Conciousness through George Harrison?"

I felt so shy and embarrassed. Im very shy about telling others how I came to Krishna through George Harrison. I dunno why I just am. But Ramachandra das prabhu had told the story to everybody after class. I felt my face blush due to the shyness about it.

I told Maharaj that I don't even listen to the Beatles but that I still listen to George. Maharaj says George is different because he is a devotee. And in my past emails that Maharaj had sent to me he had specifically told me not to give up on George. He wrote in his email "Why put someone away that has brought you to Krishna? Hold onto his stuff." That's exactly what he told me to do. So I must follow those instructions.

I meant to write about this last Tuesday before he left but I just didn't have the time. Been so busy since Maharaj left for his walk across Canada. I miss Maharaj. He will be back Sept. 29th.

In the meantime though I am saving all of George's songs that I can find onto my ipod to listen to. Maharaj sort of revived that lost relationship I have with George through Krishna Conciousness. So Im slowly getting back into George's music even though I have hardly been listening to his music. I think I should just to remember that it was George who brought me to Krishna, Srila Prabhupada's books and then eventually led me to find my own guru Maharaj. George had completely changed my life around whichi is why I will never give up on him no matter what anyone tells me. You people out there who think I will get tired of George? You're WRONG because I never will! The reason why I haven't listened to George's music in a while is because I've been busy and before I couldn't figure out how to get his songs onto my ipod on mp3's but now I do so I can listen to him  more. My guru Maharaj named me after George believe it or not. Srila Prabhupada gave George the name "Haris-Son" which means Son of Hari. So my guru Maharaj named me Hari Lila which is why he named me that because of George. My name means "Servant of Krishna's pasttimes."

Krishna can find His way into our lives when He knows we are ready for Him. So Krishna found my way to Him through His devotee George Harrison. He knew I would respond to him quickly and then eventully surrender to Him that way. It was purification. I guess Krishna knew I was ready to surrender to Him or at least try to serve Him sincerly in this life. Many devotees like myself surrendered to Krishna through George's influence on us with spirituality.  So through the Krishna movement I feel a much stronger connection with George and of course Lord Krishna Himself who let me have many self realizations through His mercy alone. I am grateful that Lord Krishna sent my guru Maharaj to me. He's perfect for me to help me spiritually advance. Im so happy that my guru Maharaj is so kind to me.

Qualified Devotees

Lately many devotees have been coming through. Some new some who are regulars. These devotees live outside the temple. So they have more of a desire to come in and serve the Deities and my guru Maharaj.
So I feel these devotees are much more qualified than me. I'm nobody special. I have my problems, both health wise and spiritually. I still have false ego even though my guru Maharaj says I don't have any ego. Many people cannot tolerate me at all but my guru Maharaj has.
I still anxiously do my serivces to serve the Deities my guru Maharaj. But I have a tendency to over do it. I've done that on Moday, and Maharaj actually made me stop doing service and he wanted me to rest.

But back to the qualified devotees and enough about myself. I've observed how these devotees come in and do these services without hesitation. Because it is devotional service and they are practicing real bhakti. They are getting purified by doing these services for Krishna and devotees who live in the temple. In the temple there are only a few of us living here, and there is so much that needs to be done, but there are only a hand full of us. We cannot possibly finish all these services on our own without the help of these qualified devotees who come in to visit for the day.

This nice mataji who is new, came in to help in the kitchen. I heard Maharaj was extremely pleased with her services and she told me he came close to tears because of how she was doing her service. I told her she got a lot of mercy from my guru Maharaj if he came close to tears like that. Even I haven't gotten that kind of mercy from Maharaj even though he'd been pleased with me several times. I told her she is better than me, and more qualified than me to serve my guru Maharaj and she is not even initiated. She just came to this temple a week ago and already she's spiritually advancing and getting mercy from Maharaj and Krishna alone. I think she has started chanting a little bit. Bhakta Patrick has been teaching her things which is good. I'm not good at teaching anyone anything really. I wasn't meant to be a leader.  I never thought of myself as good enough to even be doing devtional service let alone utter Krishna's name. Im still very materially contaminated. I need to learn patience and tolerance yet, and especially I need to learn to control my emotion which get way out of hand sometimes. These things often prevent me from doing devotional serivce and as a result it makes me an unqualified devotee to be doing these services in the temple.

These devotees who come in don't seem to have any of these problems I have which is why I consider them more qualified than me. I know they will return to Krishna faster than me. I probably will have to return to this miserable material world again to fully get rid of my karma and false ego, but I just hope and pray to Krishna even if I do have to come back here I hope He will let me remember Him and still let me serve Him.

Major Maha Mantra Festival Weekend

This weekend is going to be a busy one. So much is going on. Tomorrow night we have Prabhupada movie night. They will be showing the films Following Srila Prabhupada. I have seen those already in New Vrndavan. Friday evening there is a harinam from 6:30pm till 8:30pm downtown Toronto. I will attend that one And then Saturday we have a Beatles Festival. I really want to go to that. The only reason why I am going to the Beatles festival is because I am going with devotees and we're going to spread Krishna's holy names. I would not just go for the Beatles themselves. And also Im going because George is involved in the festival, and George had brought me to Krishna. Then Sunday we have a special Sunday program with kirtans and all and Tuesday is the grande finale with a major kirtan and pizza party. That's going to be fun. I'll have to tone it down on my services and get rest so I dont wear myself out for any of these fun things. Tomorrow I will try to get plenty of rest for the kirtan on Friday so I am ready for it.  I am excited about all these things happening. This will help ease the pain of separation from Maharaj as I had been feeling the separation all day today few times I almost was in tears because of it. But Im okay now pretty much. Usually the first or second day after he leaves to go somewhere it's hard for me but i recover afterwards.
I will take pictures and try to record some videos too if I can. I definately want to get pictures of the Beatles festival as I had never been to one before because my parents couldn't afford to take me to one. Im going to bring my picture of George to set up at our section when we do our sankirtan serivce.

I wonder if and when I do to move tot he Los Angeles temple that they will have things like this too.I hope I can do service for Tulasi there too if I can. But we'll see what Krishna arranges. But for now I am looking forward to the kirtans this weekend.