Lord Ramachandra's Appearace Day

Today was pretty amazing and also one of my favorite past times of Krishna as Lord Ramachandra.

The morning hadn't started off so great for me as I had some stomach cramps but they went away by the afternoon. The Mangal Aarti kirtan was very very estatic. Especially the second half of the morning program. Then Bhagavatam class was all about Lord Ramachandra. I always loved the story of Rama and Sita. I want to buy the book Ramayana. It's a very transcendental story and it's also a love story because Lord Ramachandra's wife Sita was kidnapped by the demon Ravana. Lord Ramachandra was very angry and Sita felt severe separation from her husband Lord Ramachandra goes to rescue her from this powerful demon. To me the story is very enchanting.

I spent most of the morning trying to get rid of stomach cramps. By 3pm I went downstairs to help make the bathing juices for the bathing ceremony of Lord Ramachandra. I only cut the fruits up for it and bhaktin shannon made the fruit juices for it. Then by 5pm the bathing ceremony began. It was a very beautiful ceremony. The larger Deities were wearing pink purple and blue outfits. We even had small Deities of Lord Ramachandra and Sita and Hanuman. During the ceremony I noticed Radha Vrndavan Chandra were looking down at the bathing ceremony with smiles on Their Lotus Faces. Usually They are looking straight ahead but tonight.  They weren't They were very pleased with the bathing ceremony and kirtan. And They looked even more beautiful to me today because today is a very auspicious day because of Lord Ramachandra.

The 7pm Aarti was so much fun for Lord Ramachandra. Even I was dancing some even though I cannot dance very well. But I tried at least. And by Lord Nrsimahadeva prayers I was pretty blissed out. It felt like Maharaj was physically here in the temple almost because I know how wild his kirtans can be. Usually I can feel Maharaj's presence through the kirtans because he loves kirtans. So I will try to focus on that to ease the pain of separation from my guru Maharaj.

All glories to Lord Ramachandra and Sita!

Rejected From Canada, but loved by Radha Vrndavan Chandra

Well my trip to Canada did not go so well. I had difficulty with the bus when i got to Erie PA. They had apparently cancelled the bus to Buffalo New York and they said we had to take a bus to Cleveland to get to it. So I was in Cleveland for three hours 11pm till 2am. The rest of the way went smoothly. I finally reached the border. And they had to take me into immigration. That did not go so well. They asked me so many questions even though I followed to what my guru instructed me to say to them. But they went into deeper details about my stay in Canada. So they could not let me through due to financial reasons and also proof of address. They had to send me back to the United States. It was another long bus ride all the way back to West Virginia. The bus went okay up until I got to Pittsburgh. They said my bus wouldn't leave Pittsburgh for Wheeling until 7am the next morning after I got to Pittsburgh at 5pm. So I had called Mother Siki and she had found someone to pick me up in Pittsburgh. ChandraShankar picked me up. While I waited for him to come I chatted on the phone with Mother Sudevi and also Mandakini.  I got back to the temple safely around 10pm last night. I still feel a bit exhausted from yesterday but I'll be fine.

So even though I was rejected by Canada, apparently Sri Sri Radha Vrndavan Chandra didn't want me to leave again so soon. Some devotees welcomed me back. Bhaktin Shannon said she'd work along with me with service. I did get some of my old services back like cleaning the pujari room and deity plate transfer I might help out with the dishes too but I think they already have someone else doing that. Later today Bhaktin Shannon and I will go out to pick flowers for the Deities garlands and she said i might help her with making some garlands again.

Tomorrow I have to talk to Jaya Krishna about what will happen to me in the future. I told him I am not going anywhere any time soon as I have no choice at the moment but to stay here in New Vrndavan. Madhavendra Puri said he's still try to help me get back to Canada again by having a letter stating I am a religious worker and that they will take care of me there during the months I stay.  But we will see what Krishna arranges and wants me to do. I hope I can get a hold of Maharaj too but he pretty much already knows what's going on.

Last Full Day in New Vrndavan

Well today was my last full day in New Vrndavan. I spent most of the day cleaning out my room. I had gotten rid of most of what I had originally although I do have to leave a couple bags behind until I come back for them for the Festival of Inspiration but I only have about three or four small bags that have some clothes in them. I had left them in Mother Sudevi's apartment so as not to have it stolen while Im away. I have yet to stop over Mother Sudevi's apartment to leave her a little gift and a couple more small things.

I kept thinking of Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha the whole time I was here in New Vrndavan. It was because the days were getting close for me to return to Them.  I know Radha Vrndavan Chandra were right in front of me though. I spent some quiet time with Radha Vrndavan Chandra quietly saying good bye to Them promising to always remember Them, especially Lord Nrsimahadeva. That is where I feel torn in two. I am so attracted to Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha but at the same time so attracted to Lord Nrsimahadeva in New Vrndavan. But I know I can always visit Him and plus I have some nice pictures of Him as well that I am taking with me.

I also managed to get a very nice garland for my guru Maharaj. I got him a Lord Jaganatha garland. :) And I also got another small garland for whoever is picking me up at the bus station Saturday morning. :)

11:30am tomorrow I plan on taking a final darshan of the Deities before I leave at noon. I will probably spend the last 15 minutes in front of Lord Nrsimahadeva. I will miss Him very dearly. This morning though during the program, I could have sworn Gopalnathaji was looking at me. I guess it was more verification, and then Lord Nityananda had a bluish tint to Him as well. They must have given me Their blessing with going to Toronto. I do however look forward to seeing the Deities again for the festival. And I will miss some of the devotees here like Mother Siki, Mother Dhara, Govinda Mohini, Mandakini, Vyapi, and ChandraShankar Prabhu and a few others. They were the few devotees that I could talk to at least in New Vrndavan. But I know the devotees in Toronto wish to have me back as soon as possible including my guru Maharaj whom I am aching to see and talk to soon. I know my spiritual batteries will be recharged when I see Maharaj and the devotees there! Haribol!

First full day back in New Vrndavan.

It does feel good to be back in New Vrndavan after not being there for three months. I did see some slight change in it. I saw some new devotees I never saw before and I met the new temple president Jaya Krishna. He's really nice. And familiar faces there also were happy to see me. They all asked me what my initiated name was and some asked me who my guru Maharaj was.

Mandakini was mostly with me most of the time. We always goof around when we see each other. She too is aspiring for Bhaktimarga Swami. Im trying to encourage her to practice her sadana so that she can please Maharaj and become his disciple. That way we could be Godsisters. She wants to spend a lot of time with me before I head back to Toronto this Friday. I cannot wait to go back to Toronto to see the devotees there and especially Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha and Maharaj. I hope I can talk with Maharaj for a bit on how things went in California and New Vrndavan for my short stay.

But I did have a problem when I came back to New Vrndavan. When I got to my room I found that it was unlocked. Someone had gone into my room and totally destroyed it. My clothes were everywhere my TV was thrown on my bed, and one of my desk drawers were pulled out and left on the floor. And even worse yet, my murti of Lord Nrsimahadeva was STOLEN. I have no clue who did it, but I was VERY VERY upset. But Mandakini heard from her mother that her mother may have seen Lord Nrsimahadeva in Krishna's Attic. I hope that is the case because if He's there I am taking Him back. I have the box and I think I have the paper from when Mother Sudevi bought Him as proof that He belongs to me. If I do get my Lord Nrsimahadeva back I am NEVER letting Him out of my sight again!

But other than that things are going well so far here in New Vrndavan. I noticed that the morning kirtans are more estatic and the Aartis are very nice. I plan on going to the 8:30pm Aarti. I try to make it to all the Aartis as I can. Maharaj once said that going to Aartis and seeing the Deity destroys one's material desires and also destroys wanting to satisfy sense gratification. I've noticed that change in me lately that since going to Aartis, I don't have many material desires all I have now basically is transcendental desires like wanting to directly serve my Guru Maharaj and devotees in Toronto and not wanting to ever leave that temple in Toronto ever again. I got so attached to it that I nearly cried a few times being away from it. I love the temple in Toronto. It's like a safe haven for me. Where maya cannot attack. Maya can still attack but not as badly in the temple because Krishna is personally present. All those transcendental desires I had such as wanting to hear Maharaj give class in mayapur, helping Maharaj after his surgery, and going to temples  in California were all fullfilled by Krishna Himself. So that is proof right there that Krishna does exist. He is God, the Supreme.

I got an email today also from Maharaj. He simply told me to keep my sadana strong and to keep happy. He also asked me when I was coming back. I am very happy he wishes me to return to Toronto. He also thanked me for the messages as well. I think he was pleased that I kept in touch with him. That's all I really care to do now is to please my guru Maharaj. Because if he is pleased, that means Srila Prabhupada is pleased, and then Krishna (God Himself) is also pleased so I am very very careful about that.

So we will see how the next three days go here in New Vrndavan. I will be sure to spend as much time with the Deities here as possible. Which is why I've been going to the Aartis lately.
Three days to go till Toronto!!!!!!

Last Day In California

Today is my last day in California. Over all it was a nice trip, but I am happy to be going back to the temple again and continue on with my spiritual life.

This trip had made me think of the many realizations I've had throughout the three weeks. Some of my family members were inquisitive about Krishna Conciousness, others rejected it which is to be expected. Srila Prabhupada said that family members will reject Krishna Conciousness and a devotee must accept the rejections and humility. by doing that it makes the devotee more determined to serve Krishna and to spiritually advance.  When I met Nirantara das Prabhu and listened to his class he made a very good point. When a devotee wants to talk about God, there are some people that don't want to talk about God and are not very encouraging, and all they want to talk about is sex and their problems in life which is true. What I've learned is that many people are very touchy about the topic of religion and will freak out if a religion is different from theirs and don't know anything about it's philosophy. My grandmother on my mom's side said that people should try to learn something new everyday so that they are comfortable with it and not fear it. She's one person i can talk to about Krishna Conciousness without someone giving me a hard time about it.
Even on T.V you don't hear any encouraging words about how to love God and others...the T.V just wants you to satisify your sense gratification. I never liked watching T.V that much anyway. To me it's boring lol.

Other realizations is this too, is that I do miss being around my devotee friends. They have shown me a lot of kindness to me and I still email many of them. I've had more friends now than I used to when I was in school. I never had any friends in school because the kids always bullied me and I was always different from them. If you didn't act like their friends or like themselves in school, you were considered a geek, or just plain weird. I was always the one that got easily picked on because I was an easy target. but no more of that. Krishna had made me stronger and taught me how I can stand up and fight, and not let maya or anything else try to attack me with their mundane words. I cannot wait to go back to Toronto and see my friends there again.

And also lastly being on this trip forced met to think of Krishna more. There were times I had come close to tears because I missed being in the temple and doing service there. It was a strong feeling of separation. I had almost anxiously waited for this trip to be over but Krishna still fullfilled my desires while I was out here. He knew I wanted to go to the temples to see Him. So I went to the Los Angeles temple twice and the San Diego temple once. Little by little Krishna is revealing Himself. This is probably why Krishna sent me on this trip to think of Him more which I pretty much did the whole time. I did my best to stay Krishna Conciousness as much as possible.

Now tomorrow I head back to New Vrndavan. I have some new faces there to meet and things to take care of within the four days I am staying there before I head back to Toronto April 8th. It'll be good to be back in the temple again where I am happiest.

Meeting Nirantara das Prabhu

Yesterday was pretty cool. In the morning my dad and I rode bikes to the beach. My Aunt Sherrie met us there a little later. We stayed for about three and a half hours I think. I chanted some rounds on the beach and will do the same today.

Then later we headed off for the Los Angeles temple. I was so happy to go to the temple and see Krishna and Srila Prabhupada. I felt comfy again. I spent four hours in the temple. I had to buy a new copy of the Bhagavad Gita since my other one fell apart. Suddenly I heard a familiar guitar sound downstairs in the restaurant and a familiar voice. I followed the sound and found Nirantara das Prabhu giving a guitar lesson. I introduced myself to him and said I came to hear his class that evening. He was very very nice and I thought he was pretty cool too. Then I went into the temple and sat and read for a few hours. The Deity doors were open too. They were wearing green again like last time only it was a different green outfit.  Then there was Aarti at 6:30ish. It felt nice to see a full Aarti again. After the Aarti class began finally. We went over Ch. 7 texts 20-29 in the Bhagavad Gita. He just read the English parts of the texts and briefly explained each one. I liked the part where he said "we would not be sitting here in the temple if we did not do any pious activity in our past lives" and he also explained the importance of chanting as well. He was so inspiriing. He reminds me of my guru Maharaj in a way. :) Then after class I went to have some prasadam for dinner because I was hungry. My dad doesn't like the food at the temple but I bought a maha cookie for him. Nirantara Prabhu saw us outside and I told him that it was my dad sitting with me. Nirantara said to my dad "May Krishna bless you and protect you" not once but twice to him. :) Im so happy my dad got some mercy from Krishna yesterday evening. I won't forget that trip to the temple.  Krishna had fullfilled my desire in wanting to meet Nirantara Prabhu.

KnotsBerry Farm Amusement Park

Today our trip was to KnotsBerry Farm Amuesment Park. It was pretty good. The rollercoasters were nice too. But after the second rollercoaster I went on I was starting to feel sick. The heat rose pretty high today. I felt nauseous and had a headache. Rollercoasters never make me sick I knew it was the heat that was doing it to me. So we had to stop for lunch which helped my stomach but my headache still lingered. Later in the afternoon I was feeling a bit better to continue. Before the park opened however, I chanted some rounds and even had my beadbag with me throughout the whole day. I even chanted a bit while waiting in line. I know amusement parks are definately maya so I tried to chase her away by chanting quietly.

There was one ride there that I love. It was called the Boomerang. This rollercoaster goes forward and backwards including going upside down at that. It is the same exact ride as The Mind Eraser at Geauga Lake. It brought back some good memories. Ghost Rider rollercoaster reminded me of the Mean Streak back at Cedar Point. Then we watched a funny western stunt show before we left which reminded me of the Batman Show in Six Flags when it was in Ohio.  So I thought this trip was okay for the most part and I still stayed Krishna Conciousness as much as possible and tried to have some realizations but I didn't have that many. I only thought that bringing my bead bag with me that has Krishna on it maybe the people there would see it and get some benefit just by seeing Krishna's picture on the beadbag alone. So I hoped I helped them in some way, even if it was only for a second.