Well today was my last full day in New Vrndavan. I spent most of the day cleaning out my room. I had gotten rid of most of what I had originally although I do have to leave a couple bags behind until I come back for them for the Festival of Inspiration but I only have about three or four small bags that have some clothes in them. I had left them in Mother Sudevi's apartment so as not to have it stolen while Im away. I have yet to stop over Mother Sudevi's apartment to leave her a little gift and a couple more small things.
I kept thinking of Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha the whole time I was here in New Vrndavan. It was because the days were getting close for me to return to Them. I know Radha Vrndavan Chandra were right in front of me though. I spent some quiet time with Radha Vrndavan Chandra quietly saying good bye to Them promising to always remember Them, especially Lord Nrsimahadeva. That is where I feel torn in two. I am so attracted to Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha but at the same time so attracted to Lord Nrsimahadeva in New Vrndavan. But I know I can always visit Him and plus I have some nice pictures of Him as well that I am taking with me.
I also managed to get a very nice garland for my guru Maharaj. I got him a Lord Jaganatha garland. :) And I also got another small garland for whoever is picking me up at the bus station Saturday morning. :)
11:30am tomorrow I plan on taking a final darshan of the Deities before I leave at noon. I will probably spend the last 15 minutes in front of Lord Nrsimahadeva. I will miss Him very dearly. This morning though during the program, I could have sworn Gopalnathaji was looking at me. I guess it was more verification, and then Lord Nityananda had a bluish tint to Him as well. They must have given me Their blessing with going to Toronto. I do however look forward to seeing the Deities again for the festival. And I will miss some of the devotees here like Mother Siki, Mother Dhara, Govinda Mohini, Mandakini, Vyapi, and ChandraShankar Prabhu and a few others. They were the few devotees that I could talk to at least in New Vrndavan. But I know the devotees in Toronto wish to have me back as soon as possible including my guru Maharaj whom I am aching to see and talk to soon. I know my spiritual batteries will be recharged when I see Maharaj and the devotees there! Haribol!
Thursday, April 7, 2011
Monday, April 4, 2011
First full day back in New Vrndavan.
It does feel good to be back in New Vrndavan after not being there for three months. I did see some slight change in it. I saw some new devotees I never saw before and I met the new temple president Jaya Krishna. He's really nice. And familiar faces there also were happy to see me. They all asked me what my initiated name was and some asked me who my guru Maharaj was.
Mandakini was mostly with me most of the time. We always goof around when we see each other. She too is aspiring for Bhaktimarga Swami. Im trying to encourage her to practice her sadana so that she can please Maharaj and become his disciple. That way we could be Godsisters. She wants to spend a lot of time with me before I head back to Toronto this Friday. I cannot wait to go back to Toronto to see the devotees there and especially Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha and Maharaj. I hope I can talk with Maharaj for a bit on how things went in California and New Vrndavan for my short stay.
But I did have a problem when I came back to New Vrndavan. When I got to my room I found that it was unlocked. Someone had gone into my room and totally destroyed it. My clothes were everywhere my TV was thrown on my bed, and one of my desk drawers were pulled out and left on the floor. And even worse yet, my murti of Lord Nrsimahadeva was STOLEN. I have no clue who did it, but I was VERY VERY upset. But Mandakini heard from her mother that her mother may have seen Lord Nrsimahadeva in Krishna's Attic. I hope that is the case because if He's there I am taking Him back. I have the box and I think I have the paper from when Mother Sudevi bought Him as proof that He belongs to me. If I do get my Lord Nrsimahadeva back I am NEVER letting Him out of my sight again!
But other than that things are going well so far here in New Vrndavan. I noticed that the morning kirtans are more estatic and the Aartis are very nice. I plan on going to the 8:30pm Aarti. I try to make it to all the Aartis as I can. Maharaj once said that going to Aartis and seeing the Deity destroys one's material desires and also destroys wanting to satisfy sense gratification. I've noticed that change in me lately that since going to Aartis, I don't have many material desires all I have now basically is transcendental desires like wanting to directly serve my Guru Maharaj and devotees in Toronto and not wanting to ever leave that temple in Toronto ever again. I got so attached to it that I nearly cried a few times being away from it. I love the temple in Toronto. It's like a safe haven for me. Where maya cannot attack. Maya can still attack but not as badly in the temple because Krishna is personally present. All those transcendental desires I had such as wanting to hear Maharaj give class in mayapur, helping Maharaj after his surgery, and going to temples in California were all fullfilled by Krishna Himself. So that is proof right there that Krishna does exist. He is God, the Supreme.
I got an email today also from Maharaj. He simply told me to keep my sadana strong and to keep happy. He also asked me when I was coming back. I am very happy he wishes me to return to Toronto. He also thanked me for the messages as well. I think he was pleased that I kept in touch with him. That's all I really care to do now is to please my guru Maharaj. Because if he is pleased, that means Srila Prabhupada is pleased, and then Krishna (God Himself) is also pleased so I am very very careful about that.
So we will see how the next three days go here in New Vrndavan. I will be sure to spend as much time with the Deities here as possible. Which is why I've been going to the Aartis lately.
Three days to go till Toronto!!!!!!
Mandakini was mostly with me most of the time. We always goof around when we see each other. She too is aspiring for Bhaktimarga Swami. Im trying to encourage her to practice her sadana so that she can please Maharaj and become his disciple. That way we could be Godsisters. She wants to spend a lot of time with me before I head back to Toronto this Friday. I cannot wait to go back to Toronto to see the devotees there and especially Sri Sri Radha Gopinatha and Maharaj. I hope I can talk with Maharaj for a bit on how things went in California and New Vrndavan for my short stay.
But I did have a problem when I came back to New Vrndavan. When I got to my room I found that it was unlocked. Someone had gone into my room and totally destroyed it. My clothes were everywhere my TV was thrown on my bed, and one of my desk drawers were pulled out and left on the floor. And even worse yet, my murti of Lord Nrsimahadeva was STOLEN. I have no clue who did it, but I was VERY VERY upset. But Mandakini heard from her mother that her mother may have seen Lord Nrsimahadeva in Krishna's Attic. I hope that is the case because if He's there I am taking Him back. I have the box and I think I have the paper from when Mother Sudevi bought Him as proof that He belongs to me. If I do get my Lord Nrsimahadeva back I am NEVER letting Him out of my sight again!
But other than that things are going well so far here in New Vrndavan. I noticed that the morning kirtans are more estatic and the Aartis are very nice. I plan on going to the 8:30pm Aarti. I try to make it to all the Aartis as I can. Maharaj once said that going to Aartis and seeing the Deity destroys one's material desires and also destroys wanting to satisfy sense gratification. I've noticed that change in me lately that since going to Aartis, I don't have many material desires all I have now basically is transcendental desires like wanting to directly serve my Guru Maharaj and devotees in Toronto and not wanting to ever leave that temple in Toronto ever again. I got so attached to it that I nearly cried a few times being away from it. I love the temple in Toronto. It's like a safe haven for me. Where maya cannot attack. Maya can still attack but not as badly in the temple because Krishna is personally present. All those transcendental desires I had such as wanting to hear Maharaj give class in mayapur, helping Maharaj after his surgery, and going to temples in California were all fullfilled by Krishna Himself. So that is proof right there that Krishna does exist. He is God, the Supreme.
I got an email today also from Maharaj. He simply told me to keep my sadana strong and to keep happy. He also asked me when I was coming back. I am very happy he wishes me to return to Toronto. He also thanked me for the messages as well. I think he was pleased that I kept in touch with him. That's all I really care to do now is to please my guru Maharaj. Because if he is pleased, that means Srila Prabhupada is pleased, and then Krishna (God Himself) is also pleased so I am very very careful about that.
So we will see how the next three days go here in New Vrndavan. I will be sure to spend as much time with the Deities here as possible. Which is why I've been going to the Aartis lately.
Three days to go till Toronto!!!!!!
Saturday, April 2, 2011
Last Day In California
Today is my last day in California. Over all it was a nice trip, but I am happy to be going back to the temple again and continue on with my spiritual life.
This trip had made me think of the many realizations I've had throughout the three weeks. Some of my family members were inquisitive about Krishna Conciousness, others rejected it which is to be expected. Srila Prabhupada said that family members will reject Krishna Conciousness and a devotee must accept the rejections and humility. by doing that it makes the devotee more determined to serve Krishna and to spiritually advance. When I met Nirantara das Prabhu and listened to his class he made a very good point. When a devotee wants to talk about God, there are some people that don't want to talk about God and are not very encouraging, and all they want to talk about is sex and their problems in life which is true. What I've learned is that many people are very touchy about the topic of religion and will freak out if a religion is different from theirs and don't know anything about it's philosophy. My grandmother on my mom's side said that people should try to learn something new everyday so that they are comfortable with it and not fear it. She's one person i can talk to about Krishna Conciousness without someone giving me a hard time about it.
Even on T.V you don't hear any encouraging words about how to love God and others...the T.V just wants you to satisify your sense gratification. I never liked watching T.V that much anyway. To me it's boring lol.
Other realizations is this too, is that I do miss being around my devotee friends. They have shown me a lot of kindness to me and I still email many of them. I've had more friends now than I used to when I was in school. I never had any friends in school because the kids always bullied me and I was always different from them. If you didn't act like their friends or like themselves in school, you were considered a geek, or just plain weird. I was always the one that got easily picked on because I was an easy target. but no more of that. Krishna had made me stronger and taught me how I can stand up and fight, and not let maya or anything else try to attack me with their mundane words. I cannot wait to go back to Toronto and see my friends there again.
And also lastly being on this trip forced met to think of Krishna more. There were times I had come close to tears because I missed being in the temple and doing service there. It was a strong feeling of separation. I had almost anxiously waited for this trip to be over but Krishna still fullfilled my desires while I was out here. He knew I wanted to go to the temples to see Him. So I went to the Los Angeles temple twice and the San Diego temple once. Little by little Krishna is revealing Himself. This is probably why Krishna sent me on this trip to think of Him more which I pretty much did the whole time. I did my best to stay Krishna Conciousness as much as possible.
Now tomorrow I head back to New Vrndavan. I have some new faces there to meet and things to take care of within the four days I am staying there before I head back to Toronto April 8th. It'll be good to be back in the temple again where I am happiest.
This trip had made me think of the many realizations I've had throughout the three weeks. Some of my family members were inquisitive about Krishna Conciousness, others rejected it which is to be expected. Srila Prabhupada said that family members will reject Krishna Conciousness and a devotee must accept the rejections and humility. by doing that it makes the devotee more determined to serve Krishna and to spiritually advance. When I met Nirantara das Prabhu and listened to his class he made a very good point. When a devotee wants to talk about God, there are some people that don't want to talk about God and are not very encouraging, and all they want to talk about is sex and their problems in life which is true. What I've learned is that many people are very touchy about the topic of religion and will freak out if a religion is different from theirs and don't know anything about it's philosophy. My grandmother on my mom's side said that people should try to learn something new everyday so that they are comfortable with it and not fear it. She's one person i can talk to about Krishna Conciousness without someone giving me a hard time about it.
Even on T.V you don't hear any encouraging words about how to love God and others...the T.V just wants you to satisify your sense gratification. I never liked watching T.V that much anyway. To me it's boring lol.
Other realizations is this too, is that I do miss being around my devotee friends. They have shown me a lot of kindness to me and I still email many of them. I've had more friends now than I used to when I was in school. I never had any friends in school because the kids always bullied me and I was always different from them. If you didn't act like their friends or like themselves in school, you were considered a geek, or just plain weird. I was always the one that got easily picked on because I was an easy target. but no more of that. Krishna had made me stronger and taught me how I can stand up and fight, and not let maya or anything else try to attack me with their mundane words. I cannot wait to go back to Toronto and see my friends there again.
And also lastly being on this trip forced met to think of Krishna more. There were times I had come close to tears because I missed being in the temple and doing service there. It was a strong feeling of separation. I had almost anxiously waited for this trip to be over but Krishna still fullfilled my desires while I was out here. He knew I wanted to go to the temples to see Him. So I went to the Los Angeles temple twice and the San Diego temple once. Little by little Krishna is revealing Himself. This is probably why Krishna sent me on this trip to think of Him more which I pretty much did the whole time. I did my best to stay Krishna Conciousness as much as possible.
Now tomorrow I head back to New Vrndavan. I have some new faces there to meet and things to take care of within the four days I am staying there before I head back to Toronto April 8th. It'll be good to be back in the temple again where I am happiest.
Friday, April 1, 2011
Meeting Nirantara das Prabhu
Yesterday was pretty cool. In the morning my dad and I rode bikes to the beach. My Aunt Sherrie met us there a little later. We stayed for about three and a half hours I think. I chanted some rounds on the beach and will do the same today.
Then later we headed off for the Los Angeles temple. I was so happy to go to the temple and see Krishna and Srila Prabhupada. I felt comfy again. I spent four hours in the temple. I had to buy a new copy of the Bhagavad Gita since my other one fell apart. Suddenly I heard a familiar guitar sound downstairs in the restaurant and a familiar voice. I followed the sound and found Nirantara das Prabhu giving a guitar lesson. I introduced myself to him and said I came to hear his class that evening. He was very very nice and I thought he was pretty cool too. Then I went into the temple and sat and read for a few hours. The Deity doors were open too. They were wearing green again like last time only it was a different green outfit. Then there was Aarti at 6:30ish. It felt nice to see a full Aarti again. After the Aarti class began finally. We went over Ch. 7 texts 20-29 in the Bhagavad Gita. He just read the English parts of the texts and briefly explained each one. I liked the part where he said "we would not be sitting here in the temple if we did not do any pious activity in our past lives" and he also explained the importance of chanting as well. He was so inspiriing. He reminds me of my guru Maharaj in a way. :) Then after class I went to have some prasadam for dinner because I was hungry. My dad doesn't like the food at the temple but I bought a maha cookie for him. Nirantara Prabhu saw us outside and I told him that it was my dad sitting with me. Nirantara said to my dad "May Krishna bless you and protect you" not once but twice to him. :) Im so happy my dad got some mercy from Krishna yesterday evening. I won't forget that trip to the temple. Krishna had fullfilled my desire in wanting to meet Nirantara Prabhu.
Then later we headed off for the Los Angeles temple. I was so happy to go to the temple and see Krishna and Srila Prabhupada. I felt comfy again. I spent four hours in the temple. I had to buy a new copy of the Bhagavad Gita since my other one fell apart. Suddenly I heard a familiar guitar sound downstairs in the restaurant and a familiar voice. I followed the sound and found Nirantara das Prabhu giving a guitar lesson. I introduced myself to him and said I came to hear his class that evening. He was very very nice and I thought he was pretty cool too. Then I went into the temple and sat and read for a few hours. The Deity doors were open too. They were wearing green again like last time only it was a different green outfit. Then there was Aarti at 6:30ish. It felt nice to see a full Aarti again. After the Aarti class began finally. We went over Ch. 7 texts 20-29 in the Bhagavad Gita. He just read the English parts of the texts and briefly explained each one. I liked the part where he said "we would not be sitting here in the temple if we did not do any pious activity in our past lives" and he also explained the importance of chanting as well. He was so inspiriing. He reminds me of my guru Maharaj in a way. :) Then after class I went to have some prasadam for dinner because I was hungry. My dad doesn't like the food at the temple but I bought a maha cookie for him. Nirantara Prabhu saw us outside and I told him that it was my dad sitting with me. Nirantara said to my dad "May Krishna bless you and protect you" not once but twice to him. :) Im so happy my dad got some mercy from Krishna yesterday evening. I won't forget that trip to the temple. Krishna had fullfilled my desire in wanting to meet Nirantara Prabhu.
Wednesday, March 30, 2011
KnotsBerry Farm Amusement Park
Today our trip was to KnotsBerry Farm Amuesment Park. It was pretty good. The rollercoasters were nice too. But after the second rollercoaster I went on I was starting to feel sick. The heat rose pretty high today. I felt nauseous and had a headache. Rollercoasters never make me sick I knew it was the heat that was doing it to me. So we had to stop for lunch which helped my stomach but my headache still lingered. Later in the afternoon I was feeling a bit better to continue. Before the park opened however, I chanted some rounds and even had my beadbag with me throughout the whole day. I even chanted a bit while waiting in line. I know amusement parks are definately maya so I tried to chase her away by chanting quietly.
There was one ride there that I love. It was called the Boomerang. This rollercoaster goes forward and backwards including going upside down at that. It is the same exact ride as The Mind Eraser at Geauga Lake. It brought back some good memories. Ghost Rider rollercoaster reminded me of the Mean Streak back at Cedar Point. Then we watched a funny western stunt show before we left which reminded me of the Batman Show in Six Flags when it was in Ohio. So I thought this trip was okay for the most part and I still stayed Krishna Conciousness as much as possible and tried to have some realizations but I didn't have that many. I only thought that bringing my bead bag with me that has Krishna on it maybe the people there would see it and get some benefit just by seeing Krishna's picture on the beadbag alone. So I hoped I helped them in some way, even if it was only for a second.
There was one ride there that I love. It was called the Boomerang. This rollercoaster goes forward and backwards including going upside down at that. It is the same exact ride as The Mind Eraser at Geauga Lake. It brought back some good memories. Ghost Rider rollercoaster reminded me of the Mean Streak back at Cedar Point. Then we watched a funny western stunt show before we left which reminded me of the Batman Show in Six Flags when it was in Ohio. So I thought this trip was okay for the most part and I still stayed Krishna Conciousness as much as possible and tried to have some realizations but I didn't have that many. I only thought that bringing my bead bag with me that has Krishna on it maybe the people there would see it and get some benefit just by seeing Krishna's picture on the beadbag alone. So I hoped I helped them in some way, even if it was only for a second.
Along the California Coast
Yesterday my dad and I drove along California's beach coasts. We stopped at quite a few beaches. The first beach we stopped at had a high tide so we could not go walking down there. But the funniest thing happened while we were over looking the water. Seagulls were flying pretty close above our heads, and while my dad wasn't paying any attention, a seagull pooped right on his arm. I ended up laughing. Somehow I knew that was going to happen.
Then the second beach we stopped at we got out of the van and went to take a walk on the beach. It was about a 2 mile walk up and down the beach. The breeze felt nice, it was chilly in the beginning, but warmed up later. There were other people there as well. We also watched some surfers too in the water. But that qoute by Srila Prabhupada came through me again. I read that when Prabhupada was on his japa beach walk he pointed to the surfers and he told his devotees "Even surfing is maya." That was why I was hesitant on skiing because I dont know if Srila Prabhupada would have said skiing is maya or not too.
Then we stopped at a beach called Aliso Beach. We stayed there for four hours. I tried to make Radha and Krishna out of sand. I was trying to stay Krishna Conciousness as much as possible. So Krishna was on my mind the whole time we drove down along the coast. I had some trouble on how I could make Radha and Krishna out of sand and I told my dad "One way or another Im going to make Krishna out of sand, and stay Krishna Conciousness" He didn't say anything really. But he kept teasing me about a tsunami coming in and stuff to mess me up which it did happen once when the wave came in pretty close and I had to start over. So I said to my dad jokingly "Hey you jinxed me!!!!!!!" And then he still continued to tease me about it, but Krishna didn't let him get away with it this time. I was able to finish my project in the sand for Him.
Then lastly we passed by Laguna Beach. I wish I could have written down the address for the temple there. Had I known we were going to drive by Laguna Beach I would have gone to the temple near by there. So next year if I come out to California again I will make note of it.
Then the second beach we stopped at we got out of the van and went to take a walk on the beach. It was about a 2 mile walk up and down the beach. The breeze felt nice, it was chilly in the beginning, but warmed up later. There were other people there as well. We also watched some surfers too in the water. But that qoute by Srila Prabhupada came through me again. I read that when Prabhupada was on his japa beach walk he pointed to the surfers and he told his devotees "Even surfing is maya." That was why I was hesitant on skiing because I dont know if Srila Prabhupada would have said skiing is maya or not too.
Then we stopped at a beach called Aliso Beach. We stayed there for four hours. I tried to make Radha and Krishna out of sand. I was trying to stay Krishna Conciousness as much as possible. So Krishna was on my mind the whole time we drove down along the coast. I had some trouble on how I could make Radha and Krishna out of sand and I told my dad "One way or another Im going to make Krishna out of sand, and stay Krishna Conciousness" He didn't say anything really. But he kept teasing me about a tsunami coming in and stuff to mess me up which it did happen once when the wave came in pretty close and I had to start over. So I said to my dad jokingly "Hey you jinxed me!!!!!!!" And then he still continued to tease me about it, but Krishna didn't let him get away with it this time. I was able to finish my project in the sand for Him.
Then lastly we passed by Laguna Beach. I wish I could have written down the address for the temple there. Had I known we were going to drive by Laguna Beach I would have gone to the temple near by there. So next year if I come out to California again I will make note of it.
Another Mountain Trail in San Diego
Just the other day I went on another mountain trail walk. It was a pretty steep mountain trail at that. The steepest one I've travelled. I had some difficulty with the steep hills due to my leg hurting me and it was kind of hard to breath as well but by the time we go to the top to where it flattened out I was able to walk easier. My dad and I took my Aunt's dog Mojo with us along on the trail. My dad let Mojo off the leash so that he can run around some. But half way through the trail, Mojo ran off! We thought we had lost him. We had a light snack at the top while we tried calling out for Mojo. Dad had to call my Aunt twice. She told us to keep calling for him. I called for him too but I also chanted some rounds too taking it a good opportunity to chant outside, over looking the view of the town down below. I also prayed to Krishna to help us find Mojo. The bushes smelled like mint.. I think they have wild sage out there. Finally my Aunt came to help look for Mojo who was still lost in the bushes out there. So we split up to look for him. About five minutes after we started on our way, Mojo comes running behind me. I thanked Krishna for helping us find him so that we could go home as it was getting late and the sun was setting. So we all got back safe and sound. Dad kept Mojo on the leash the rest of the way so that Mojo wouldn't go running off. The walk took about an hour an a half total but we lost an hour due to trying to find the dog. But over all it was a very nice trek along the mountain side.
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